Tuesday, 9 January 2007

How Merry Was ur Xmas?

Thanks to everyone who took the time to welcome this nerd, I totally appreciate it…una do well!

So yeah I know xmas was like 2 weeks ago but I still haven’t blogged about how my xmas was.And yes u musto hear o!

Yeah people expect xmas to be somewhat magical..well me that is..So I woke up on xmas day ….the harmattan was killing. I tip-toed downstairs..the parlour that had been decorated already.
And under the Christmas tree were a bunch of presents….i walked over to the tree picked the one that had my name on it…awww!!! They remembered me this year I thought…and I decided I didn’t want to wait till every other person had woken up.
I am the kind of cat curiosity kills(sori okechi)…so anyways I open it…and I see the bestest present in the whole wide world..a vibrator!!!...just as I was about to go and practice with it…that’s how that yeye mr oyekusibe our househelp just woke me up…chai! I was mad.So na dream I dey dream all along…who for one gimme vibrator…lol…I woke up angrily…didn’t even have my bath went downstairs in my p.j’s….oh boy! I dirrin see any gifts oh.

Anyways I went to the kitchen took some garri to soak and went to the sacred parlour our pupcy never allows us to enter and put my feet up on them sacred chairs and watched house all day. Theres nothing like watching a cranky-know-it-all doctor to make ur xmas perfect.

The best xmas present was from NEPA…I want use this opportunity to send some blessings their way.Cuz it’s so easy to play the who-can-think-up-the-most-disastrous-curse-to-scatter-nepa-with game but when they do a little good we don’t recognize it. Through out December we had 24hours light, I swear I thought I was dreaming..it was so unreal..i kept expecting them to strike even it it was for only a minute but they didnt…never in my life has such a phenomenon occurred.
But I was scared oh, cause I had gotten so used to the light I knew at one point they’ll go back to their evil ways and I cudnt just imagine life without the uninterrupted supply of power o…God bless Nepa small sha.

There head don they shack now sha.

Ok back to xmas…so I was still in my p.j’s watching house, I heard visitors might be coming..of course that angered me why cant people just sit in their houses. Even with the fuel scarcity, that’s how they’ll come eat all the food that’s meant for us and go to their house and eat their own abeg spend xmas with ur family o! except ur bringing hampers then ur welcome…I don’t mean those poverty stricken hampers with one dano milki and two milo o! Better go to park and shop or game and get one correct hamper.

Okay so there was enough jollof rice, salad and chicken flowing…before xmas I went to the market with mumcy. Okay she dragged me to the market I hadn’t been to the market in like 3years..Abeg jare I know am a girl and all but I just don’t have interest In all those girlie responsibilities…my bro is always like..when u get married and it’s ur housegirl sikirat that’s cooking and doing everything for ur husband..One day he’ll be like “Darling wont u come to bed” and i’ll be like in like 20minutes..and he’ll reply “Who’s talking to u, abeg sikirat to ba se tan ko wa sun jare”…lol..watever!

I hope I marry a husband that loves cooking…that’ll warn me” this woman if i see u in this kitchen ehn”..leave it all to me.Chei! can u say heaven. Jesus, u raised lazarus from the dead finding me a husband who loves to cook,hates sex and has a triple digit IQ with a sense of humour is not impossible for u.He doesn’t even have to resemble denzel but make e no worwor too much sha..n make e no short pass 6ft…God it’s not too much for u..i am praying in advance so in like 5 years time wen my mother is taking me from one MFM branch to another for prayers ull remember me.

See as I don derail my xmas tori..

Anyways sha…yeah xmas was ok…of course we didn’t forget the reason for the season…It was uneventful sha..pretty much watched t.v and ate all day. Had no yeye visitors, watched house all day. What more can I ask for.

Thank God!!!


c0dec said...

lmao! but seriously start cooking.

azuka said...

Loves to cook and hates sex don't go together ;-).

Nilla said...

Girl, you've killed me with laughter.

Glad your Xmas was fine.

Omotayo said...

can U imagine? "loves to cook, hates sex and a triple digit IQ"........talk about raising d bar........well why not dream I would say...........well I think I have said happy new year already. Take care and have a lovely year ahead

Lee said...

I used to read your xanga page before.. Good you moved to blogger, now I can add u to my blog roll.

Kayode said...

Geez I taught ladies enjoy sex too, or am I missing something? A guy that loves cooking isn't the problem, a guy that would choose to be a cook is the problem.

exschoolnerd said...

@codec..its not that i dont cook,i just dont enjoy it.
@azuka...and why is that..pls explain
@nilla..my pleasure girlie!thanx for stopping by
@omotayo...for real am i expecting too much?have a lovely year too.
@lee..thanx a bunch
@kayode...well its such a drag.

Anthony Arojojoye said...

Since when did food start beckoning to people? LOL.

confusednaijagirl said...

you need serious prayer for that to come true oh!!! LMAO

Anonymous said...

lmao.. all the other ones are fine.. the loves cooking, iq, humorous... easy to find.. hates sex.. not so easy.. lol.. you're too funny jare