Saturday, 24 February 2007

The boy i used to be

The lot of u are witches and wizards...nobody even bothered to find out why i haven't updated..thanx alot...thank u very much..am hurt!!..nobody likes me.watever!



The last time i checked i was a girl,at least it looked like i was...i still had the vital organs at least...abi make i check properly because things been looking funny nowadays...ehen..we are on course.
But i've always felt like a boy in a girls body.
Now what usually comes after that is some kind of revelation...like 'I am gay' or 'i am a transverstite' ..or a gay transverstite..or some other freaky combination i dont even want to think about .
But am sorry to burst your bubbles my dear olofofo's but there's no coming out story here.
I think i feel that way- like a boy cause i grew up in a testerone charged household with two brothers, an uncle and my dad.My mum pretty much didnt have my time and being the only girl it was only normal that i delved into the then unknown world of tomboy-ism.

You know i adopted the 'if u cant beat them join them mentality'
This meant i didnt have to care about the usual balderdash girls were usually concerned with..like make-up,boys and the long list of trivial stuff.Even when i attempted to use some make up i ended up looking less like a beauty and more like a cross between a drag queen and a mad clown....like most ladies end up looking nowadays but haven't the slightest clue.
I love hanging out with the boys(and still do),i felt more at home in their company and enjoyed theri conversations(and still do)
while most girls vied for the attention of boys, i just wanted to kick them and enact mortal combat and street fighter moves with them and exchange sega and nintendo cartridges...hehehe
My brother will forever rememeber me when he looks at his fingers cause i broke his nail while enacting a mortal combat fight with him...and he cried like a silly child.
I fell in love with usual boy stuff..loved wrestling..not the crap i get to watch nowadays...With ultimate warrior and crush as my favorites..You wouldn't catch me with anything romance..at one point i attempted them mills and boons book but nearly died of the mushiness..i love adventure and action anyday.

By the time i was nine i was already riding in cars with boys(ashewo like me shey? u go rundown....get ur mind out of the gutter..thats not what i mean)
I was a chubby 9year old jss1 student in home science sec school(homies science as we called it)

I used to go to school with my brothers their two friends and our driver in our rickety 504 that we nicknamed 'Jalopy' all the way to our school which was almost in ogun state.

So picture me in a car all squeezed up with five other boys.I felt i had died and gone to heaven,

Going to school was a trip,of course we were always later cause we always took detours..first was the mamaput's place which later became a daily habit. and we were known as habitual latecomers thats why we were always seen doing frog jumps at the back of assembly..only to come late the next day..we were rebles! rebels! i tell u

The conversations were hilarious and the most exciting part of the whole experience was that i fell in love with rap music that we blasted in our car radio..every blessed day.
Warren g and natedogg(G-funk era),tupac,dr dre,B.I.G,the fugees,snoop dogg,da luniz....

i loved juicy by B.I.G

"We used to fuss when the landlord dissed us No heat, wonder why Christmas missed us Birthdays was the worst days Now we sip champagne when we thirst-ay"
Dear mama by PAC was it....

and Warren g and Natedoggs...'Regulate'

'It was a clear black night, a clear white moonWarren G was on the streets, trying to consumesome skirts for the eve, so I can get some funkjust rollin in my ride, chillin all alone'

'Do u see'

You don't see what I see, every day as Warren GI take a look over my shoulder, as I get olderGettin tired of mothafuckas sayin' "Warren I told ya"(You don't hear what I hear)But it's so hard to live through these years .

Music never felt so good. i was so into it that on my 9th birthday when the olofofo camera man was going around asking us what we wanted to be when we grow up and he got to me and i was like 'i wanna be a mutha fukcin hustler,u better ask somebody'..to say everyone was shocked was putting it midly..the thing my mother used my yansh to see that night eh..she didnt even mind that it was my birthday.

When i hear those songs i get teary eyed cause i remember them days.

Going home was even more fun cause our dare-devil driver (Mr. Alabi) treated us to car races with other drivers of kids from our school..
if there was any time i had no doubt that God was truly protecting us was those two years i spent riding in that car cause we did stuff that normally should have killed us.
But we were living on the edge and loving it..

The countless times we didnt even go to school(shh dont tell ymy folks)every other poerson wanted to go some place else and they only needed to bribe me for me to play along..
Most times we'd go play snooker at this place called 'Nipple head' in mende(i know what a perverted name) or testing our shoruken's,flash kicks and hundred hand slaps at Mega Games near country club in ikeja...we did that for the next 3years everyday after school.
Or we'd be chilling on the road at ogudu near video net..chowing down on popcorn and ice cream with passersby looking at us and thinking aren't these kids supposed to be in school..

Whenever we had bad results we'd think up ways to break the news to our parents..One time someone suggested we cut our clothes and cut ourselves with blade and lie that we were attacked by armed robbers who only took our school bags with our results in them..lol..that time it didnt seem like a bad idea...but now i can see how stupid that might have been.

It all ended when i was 11,i went to a diffrent school and my brothers graduated and Mr. Alabi left...it was sad but awesome while it lasted..I miss those days and cherish em..one of the happiest times in my life.

But my tomboy-ish phase wasn't over yet..my wardrobe consisted of stuff 'trinny and susannah of what-not-to-wear fame might consider as disastrous and unflattering.
All hideously baggy,combats,jeans and t-shirts...skirts weren't on my shopping radar.I could even imagine me in them.

I almost receeded so much into tomboy-ism short of packing my imaginary balls.
My saving grace was when i met my dear friend Olachi who rubbed some femininity my way,and made me realise being a girl wasn't all that bad.

But i always and still feel like a boy at heart.

What id give to go back to those days...minus the hideous baggy clothes sha.I miss the boy i used to be.


I've been meaning to post something on the 'west africa idols' ill do that in due time.

22 comments:

Overwhelmed Naija Babe said...

oh my gosh.. i used to luuuuv ultimate warrior and jake the snake and hulk hogan... i;m not quite sure.. i probably used to be a tomboy.. actually i don't think i was. i just looked like one.. when i was younger even in England my mom used to cut off my hair cos I had this bad habit of puling out all my front hair as i sucked my thumb so i looked deranged when i had no hair in the front and long hair in the back... lol.. so my own was byforce tomboy! I don't wear makeup now.. except for lipgloss so all that blush and eyeshadow stuff is completely lost on me... i mean i just got my nails done for the first time in my life last week... the only thing that doesn't make me a tomboy i guess are the stilletos and mini skirts cos i can't stand sneakers or flats.so maybe I'm a half.. what'd u think? oh my gosh.. you went to home science.. i have a couple of friends who went there... did u know a bolanle A. there? i only know the big lyrics.. never really was a rap fan.. i was a biiigggg celine dion fan at the time.. stil am actually... this was a fantastic writeup babe.. i always always enjoy reading your writeups babe... cos they're always greatly entertaining.. rock on.. and here's to those your imaginary balls... what would life be without em? ah and i'm first toooooooo... yay!!!

Yosh said...

'i wanna be a mutha fukcin hustler,u better ask somebody' hahahahaha! There was no *kpasss* effect! :P

So you were those people that made 'em ban some game houses, eh!? And I thot my bro was alone. Growing up is fun sha.

*Any attempts at sex change? :P

Enjoy your weekend! :)

Nilla said...

Ahn Ahn now, why are you calling us witches :-(
lol.

Anyways howz your weekend going? Good I hope.

I'm not and was never a tomboy, but I'm not what you'll call "girly girly".
Love playing mortal combat etc...

Thank God for your friend Olachi :-)

exschoolnerd said...

@overwhelmed....girl i love ur mini-entry o!.lol....u looked deranged...lol..haba!..bolanle..hmmm..the name doesnt ring a bell..i was there for just js1 and 2..and that was like 96/97...
@yosh..sex change ke...thats going to far o!i wouldnt make a pretty boy anyways.
@nilla...my dear ur not part of the witches o! the witches know theirselves...my weekend is okay..uneventful...been watching prison break 2nd season and am officially a fan..have a wonderful week ahead girlie..

segunkadri said...

Over the witches and witches stuff,we all are in Nigeria lol..............i really miss coming on net cause my eyes are getting faulty ...........This story really reminds me of my only sister,she was the only beauty amongst 4 beasts. But i really want to believe it was quite an adventure for you,i could imagine how much you love the old wrestling,mortal combat moves but i guess you dont do those moves anymore..........Respect Laide

azuka said...

I like tomboys. None of that mushy, 'I'm fragile' behavior.

TRAE said...

and there i was about to go to press with your "family biography" only to come across this piece of skipped info...haha, nice write up...cute...sweet!

Vincent said...

hey hey... i posted a comment askin where u @ like a hundred tyms d damned thing refused to put it up... at least i tried u neva even holla me since...

Vincent said...

man... dat i wanna be a mutha fuckin hustler stuff was d height i really wasnt gonna reach at age 15 talkless of 9... one big kpass from some where was seriously needed...lol nothin do u gurl...

exschoolnerd said...

@segun..lol..how now i dnt dothem anymore oh..u want me to throw out my back...hmmm
@azuka...nice to know! but i do have a mushy side o!..which i so hate.
@trae...its good to surprise yall once in a while..by the way..how u dey?
@vincent...am sorry vince...been doing my registration stuff..been hella hectic..haven't even finished yet..willholla as soon as m tru.

law_damsel said...

ahhh no be so..wud ve checked up on u, but i had my heart broken..so cudnt log on..im bouncing bk dont worry

Simply Gorgeous said...

So you are calling me a witch, abi? Ididn't know something was wrong with you. How now?
As for your tomboyism, I guess I can join the club, there was not a wrestler that I did not have, a GI Joe, Voltron. I hated girl toys, I hated brushing their stupid hair.

I rather play outside with my boy cousins, soccer, tag, wrewstling trying to climb trees. My mother almost gave up nhope of me being normal. But alas, puberty hit.

and no I am not a reformed girl. I am still a tomboy I would cuddle up any day to watch a boxing match or soccer, or squash. No time for polishing, petting and all the other nonsense.

I own more sneakers I think still than I own shoes., and I think guys like that more, than a girl that is super pretentious.

But on occasions I know where I am going and how to dress no matter how much of a fraud I really feel.

exschoolnerd said...

@law damsel..take heart my dear...ull get over it.
@simply gorgeous....u know ur too special to be part of the witches...they know theirselves...so we r many(tomboys at heart)...sall good..i flow better with tomboys than girly girls..

kemi said...

Some of us are not in the winches and wisards group o cos we were in need of people to even ask if we were doing ok. Anyhow lovely stuff remembering old times. A very good read.

Vincent said...

ahhh ahh laide... u used to inspire me oh...always had something new on ur blog every tym i logg in...now i guess im just always wishin... me at least i don dey try... tis just dat i hardly tell people bout my blogg ur prob d only person who reads it...sooo at least read it!!! lol

omohemi Benson said...

This is so funny.

i was so into it that on my 9th birthday when the olofofo camera man was going around asking us what we wanted to be when we grow up and he got to me and i was like 'i wanna be a mutha fukcin hustler,u better ask somebody'..to say everyone was shocked was putting it midly..the thing my mother used my yansh to see that night eh..she didnt even mind that it was my birthday.

So what happened to hustler dream? lol.

I was a tomboy too,though I didnot grow up in testerone charged household and dang girl you were notorious!
A whole lot of my tomboy self died when I started bleeding at 14. Though a small smart part of the tomboy still resides in me.

West African Idol,ehen? the whole audtion thing is hilarious,funny thing is I am warming up to dede and hating Nana,she is so...... I reserve my comments.

exschoolnerd said...

@ omohemi...lol..same here..i hated dede with a passion bt i realise he's jst an arrogant attention seeker..but that nana with the accent and just the fact that shes dumber than a rock..arrrrhhh!!!

the hustler dream died oh..mumcy beat it out of me.

@ kemi..my dear.ok ur not part of them...hope ur alright sha.

Overwhelmed Naija Babe said...

mami update now!

exschoolnerd said...

awww.at least sum1 misses my entries..am on it now.

Soheartened said...

Too bad for you guys...You missed wrestling in its early days..When it used to be real. Not the same anymore.Its nice to know that some of you girls could break some necks.I meant with your headlocks and stuffs not with your fronts or IKEBE super...Anyway sha....

Dnt like too much rap then and even now. But my all time favrites is 2pac. Like his soldier like attitude.He always say it as it is.Can we get another 2pac?..Dnt think so.The Game could be a successor.And another is Eminem..These guys fear no one, and they arent always talking about cars,money and girls...They talk about life..

About West-African Idols...Well Dede is the professor of music..Sometimes he is annoying. and sometimes he is pure genius.Most people can sing,and yes its about the voice..But most of these guys dont know anything about music.I think Dede is there to find that specialty. Someone who could hit notes, who could go withthe rythm and the beats. Nana...I heard she has about 3 albums to her name. With what comes out of Ghana...I dnt think she could be any better...But Naija's ...Wow ...We can sing...

Rayo said...

Amen to being a boy at heart. You learn a lot that way. I have a lot of guy friends and because they see me as just one of the guys, I get to hear all the gist about girls etc...Being a boy at heart can be a good thing.

Cybele said...

Good for people to know.