Tuesday, 6 February 2007

Crazy convo with a crazy friend!

Thanks to everybody who took the time to read my last entry and prayed for that woman.It will go a long way.May the good Lord bless each and every one of you.

So here's the funny gist i had with a crazynfriend of mine recently..it's long sha..but read on.

Lighdeh: loooooooool
lighdeh: sorry bout the oda day
303: story
lighdeh: my brother was acting the fool
lighdeh: lemme buy more time
303: my credit just disappeared
lighdeh: am serious the day u called me u were acting somehoiw
sha
303: its when i saw ur hi5 pics
lighdeh: u never gave me ur number
303: that my brain cooled
303: :d
lighdeh: and u want me to just guess who i was tlking to
lighdeh: hw far now?
303: but ive called b4
303: i expected u to have stored it
lighdeh: sorted now
lighdeh: sorted what
303: stored sweetheart
303: stored me numba
lighdeh: i did
303: sooo hw cum u cudnt recognize me?
lighdeh: we have probably only spoken once
lighdeh: do u think u can recognize my voice wen i call
303: yeah
303: i can
lighdeh: hmmm
lighdeh: okay o
lighdeh: the love is stronger than i thot
lighdeh: brb
lighdeh: lemme get more time
303: hahahahaha
lighdeh: m back
lighdeh: ehen..i dint know o
lighdeh: am so sorry
303: u didnt know what
lighdeh: that d love was this strong
lighdeh: u even know my voice
lighdeh: what else do u know
lighdeh: what coulour of undies m i wearing...tell me
303: laide laide
303: naughty naughty
303: pink
303: i will report u to the religious police
303: :d
lighdeh: lol
lighdeh: oya talk jare
303: pink
lighdeh: lol..
lighdeh: wrong..u get 3 spanks
lighdeh: am actually going commando
303: i was gonna say that u sounded so tender and gentle on the
phone
lighdeh: now get ur hands outta ur pants
303: then u asked me the undies question
303: and no my hands arent in my pants
303: and yeah ure really freaky
303: and u need to break that vow of celibacy
303: :d
lighdeh: lol..not anytime soon
lighdeh: abi do u want to break it for me
303: and im feelin homesick, and i want to hold a naija chick
303: men these white gals are just not it
303: can u imajin
303: for my personal project i went on an ikebe survey
303: 0.001% of the chicks in this area have it
303: imajin
303: men when i c d tin fear catch me
lighdeh: loooooooool
lighdeh: ayah...
303: i wanted to run back on the first flight
303: but then i remebered the holy eficco equation
303: book=good degree=job=excessive cash=very very big orobo chicks
303: = more chicks :d
lighdeh: loool
lighdeh: ashewo
303: hahahahahahahaha
303: men ure my kinda chick
303: its bin a long time since anyone called me that
303: i got called that a lot in ma nysc days
303: hehehehehehehe
303: but sweetheart its true
303: money is power
303: power is chicks
303: someone commented on the fact that everythin i did was chick
motivated :d
lighdeh: lol...
lighdeh: that ikebe wey u dey find go put u for wahala o
303: nahhhhh
303: im a gud boi303: O:-)
303: i serve jah
lighdeh: na so o
303: and all i do is jack :-B
303: i dont know anytin
lighdeh: ok
303: im sure u wudnt ask me abt the undies if u were talkin 2 me on
d fone
lighdeh: i wud
303: hmmm why
303: u like flirtin?
lighdeh: yeah..
lighdeh: its fun
303: hmmmm ok im dialing the number of the xtian brigade
lighdeh: now?
303: lead by deolu
303: im sure u know him
lighdeh: no
303: gimme a min
303: i need to fix lunch
303: i went clubbin last nite so am famished
lighdeh: wats for lunch
303: sandwiches
lighdeh: watchu eat
lighdeh: tot it started with a p
303: i eat that too last night
303: the p thin
303: but the owner was.................
lighdeh: lol.get ur mind out of the gutter
lighdeh: wat do u know am tlking bout
lighdeh: pizza..
lighdeh: chai
303: yeah me too
totallylighdeh: na wa o
bubu303: pizza
lighdeh: lol
lighdeh: yeah right
303: ok ur minds was also in d gutter
303: ur mind i meant
303: cus all i said ws i had some p too
303: without puttin it in any particular context
303: so me dear
303: u also need to get outta d gutter
303: :d
303: laide men........ure too much
303: abeg gimme a min
303: iyawo mi
303: mother of my 10 children
lighdeh: u eaten yet
lighdeh: 10 ke
lighdeh: ofe kpa mi
303: ah ah u be strong chick now
303: see as ur eye always dey red for ur pictures
lighdeh: lol
lighdeh: red sey wetin happen
303: men i look ur hi5
303: fear catch me no b small
303: dat ur new pisho
lighdeh: wetin do am
303: HOTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTt
lighdeh: loooool
303: dat tin fit set house on fire
lighdeh: i lost sum weight
lighdeh: been exercising
303: see men
303: i dont undertand you
303: exercise is for the white man
303: dietin is for d whiteman
lighdeh: need to lose sum weight sha
lighdeh: true talk
303: nice big chicks are for the black man
303: i cant imajin meself with one cold anorexic lookin skinny
chick
303: men she go just break when she see the koko
lighdeh: i dnt want to look anorexic oh
303: O:-)
303: see
303: stop tryin to lose weight
303: accept urself
303: as long as ure not gonna get cardiac arrest
totallylighdeh: he's fine
303: whos he?
lighdeh: sorri jare
lighdeh: lol
lighdeh: meant 4 sum1 else my dear
303: hmmm u dey toast man
303: and soon u go profess love
lighdeh: lol
303: when u chicks don do bad tin..na den una go begin call person
"dear"
303: "sweetie"
lighdeh: lol
303: "dearie"
303: abeg let person rest
lighdeh: hon, why r u yarning like dis now
303: see now
303: una don come again like p square
303: from honey
303: to hon
303: hmmm i fear woman o
lighdeh: lol..
lighdeh: babycakes
lighdeh: whats all this
lighdeh: am tryna be real
lighdeh: n ur jokin around
303: ah ah i resemble cake?
303: take time oh :d
b303: so whats up with ur school situation
tlighdeh: it got resolved yesterday o
303: =D>
lighdeh: the woman said i shud start lectures
lighdeh: so i have to fo late registration
lighdeh: but i dnt know where
303: hmmmm
303: which woman
lighdeh: one mrs fashola like
lighdeh: dis
303: ok ok
303: men im really glad for u
lighdeh: thnx jare
303: i was gettin a bit worried
lighdeh: thank God for me
lighdeh: he did it
lighdeh: i prayed in january
303: not gud for someone of ur talent to just sit at home
lighdeh: and i had a dream that it was done
lighdeh: it's only happening in the physical now
303: awwww laide has a spiro siide
303: side
lighdeh: lol
303: so hws boifriend
lighdeh: dunno o
bubu303: hmmmm
totallylighdeh: i dnt even know wat we r doin
lighdeh: he dont call and all
303: what happened to "we ride till we die"
lighdeh: lol
lighdeh: waka!
lighdeh: it's sad cause it had promise
lighdeh: na me u dey take laff
303: na
303: u shld know that im really concerned abt you
lighdeh: met sum oda dude like this, kinda nice..loves clubbing
lighdeh: and he's saying i shud change my status on hi5 to
committed..like we going out
lighdeh: like that will change anything
303: =))(laughing)
303: =))(laughing)
lighdeh: and he doesnt want to see all those comments on my hi5
from bois
303: =))
lighdeh: and i shud delete sum hi5 numbers on my fone
tlighdeh: and he talks to me anyhow
lighdeh: like shut up
303: hmmmmmmmm control freak
lighdeh: and i've warned him that the day i will slap him ehn
lighdeh: but i dunno sha,he's all those touch feely kinda dudes..and he drinks
303: ok
303: lemme get somethins straight
lighdeh: and me i dnt like all those touchy touchy tins
303: whats wrong with kissing
303: obinrin
tlighdeh: obirin se kini?
303: well
303: d u have problems with the fact that he drinks at all, or that
hes a drunkard?
303: but i drink occasionally
lighdeh:he can drink
lighdeh: but not everytime
lighdeh: plus d whole kissing
lighdeh: always need to be all over me thing
lighdeh: ko bo si
303: wait303: so u dont like to kiss
lighdeh: well somepeople i do
lighdeh: with somepeople
303: good, cus any normal chick in love would definitely wanna kiss
303: yup
303: and maybe u need to ger the hell outta there
303: so my dear
303: u dont like clubbin
lighdeh: nah
lighdeh: n he likes going out
bubu303: ah ah whats wrong wif that
lighdeh: NOTHING
lighdeh: its just nt my thing
lighdeh: m more laid back n reserved
lighdeh: movies kinda person
303: yeah u got different personalities
303: the key is to try n compromise n work togetha if ure
interested
303: but it seems u aint
303: u know what
lighdeh: wat?
lighdeh: u want me shey?
lighdeh: i already know
lighdeh: get in line.
303: damn
303: omo u sure say u no dey use jazz
303: what makes u think i wanted to say that
lighdeh: lol jus kiddin o
303: well i was gonna joke that maybe i shld hurry up, finish this
masters and come home and sweep u off ur feet :d
lighdeh: abi o
303: then u hit me with that "i know u want me line"
lighdeh: ive just been meeting silly silly people
303: jist me
303: silly as in all they see are ur boobs?
lighdeh: lol
lighdeh: i dunno o
lighdeh: i just want a guy..that doesnt want to touch me every
minute
303: hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm really?
bubu303: i get it
bubu303: :d
bubu303: gist me abt the silly guys
bubu303: and yeah as an afterthought
totallylighdeh: they just dnt interest nme
bubu303: i can understand him bein jealous abt comments on ur hi5
bubu303: cmon laide its a guy thing
303: even if he says he aint bothered he wud be lying
lighdeh: i know but telling me to delete it
lighdeh: and he's always accusing me
lighdeh: of taling to one lover or the other
303: he might just say it for the heck of it...so as to appear
mature n all
lighdeh: it gets tiring303: hmmmm
lighdeh: hope i can meet sumone like me
lighdeh: confident..tall..fun to be with
lighdeh: thinks the world of me
lighdeh: appreciates me
lighdeh: funny
lighdeh: cause i love laughing
lighdeh: not perfect
303: sorry i had to receive a call
303: ok u dont want a perfect dude
lighdeh: might be leaving in 30mins
303: 30 mins is a long time
lighdeh: k
303: so if the person is short
303: no show
lighdeh: wen did u get laid last..
303: LAIDE303: oniranu
303: but i like you
lighdeh: lol
lighdeh: answa my kweshun jare
303: ok
303: tell me urs
303: and ill tell u mine
lighdeh: sept 2005
303: ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh
303: too far
303: why
lighdeh: i dnt liek it
303: baby
303: u sure ure ok? u gotta like it
303: i mean u gotta take care of ur husband
303: calabar style...u dig?
lighdeh: lol
lighdeh: say who die
303: who was it with
303: boifriend
303: or boifriend at the time
lighdeh: yea sum silly fling
303: ok
303: mine was yest
303: after 6 months
lighdeh: ehen...oya gist gist
lighdeh: who was the unlucky girl
303: u too gist
lighdeh: lol..jus kiddin..
303: unlucky ke? waka
lighdeh: lol
lighdeh: tell me now
303: tell me urs first
lighdeh: u know am in a cafe
lighdeh: u want peeps to read ehn
303: na lie
303: no ones gonna stare at the screen
lighdeh: illt ell u when iget home
lighdeh: ill chat wt my mobile
303: ok o
bubu303: na u talk am
bubu303: ok my gist
303: and are u sure pple wont read it
303: using ur own arguement
lighdeh: lollighdeh: no303: then tell me urs first dammit
lighdeh: pls now
303: hehehe
303: u sound so cute when u say pls nw
lighdeh: pls pls plssssssssssssssssssssss
303: e don do
lighdeh: *in sexy bedroom voice*
lighdeh: pls bubu
303: ok
303: i hate bein called bubu by chicks
303: it sounds soooo babyish
lighdeh: y
lighdeh: thats my b.f's nickname
lighdeh: no
303: chicks get that glassy eyed look
lighdeh: it's juju
303: on their faces
303: then start cooin bu-bu-bu
303: and which bf
lighdeh: lol
bubu303: the ryde or dye one
lighdeh: hw many did u dash me
303: so hes nickname is juju
303: men do ur parents know abt that namee
tlighdeh: no
lighdeh: short for junior
303: ok
303: my gist
303: u ready
lighdeh: yea
lighdeh: gat 13minslighdeh: so hurry
303: well this romanian chick friend of mine.....had the biggest
bakassi in our faculty, and i felt it was my solemn duty to access d
booty303: i tried different techniques
lighdeh: lol
bubu303: and she was always like.....we are friends ade
303: i was like %#$%$%$% friendship303: so yest
303: we went out
303: to one annoyin club
303: had some drinks
303: and then i had bin propositionin her b4\
303: she kept sayin nahhh
303: so later when we were leavin
303: i asked her not to complain to me abt her her feelin horny
303: cus i offered her the koko and she refused
303: and shes trippin for a guy who might be gay
303: and she knows
303: so she was now like "i shld learn hw to push harder"
303: my naija spirit rose up
303: i ws like who this chick tink she be?
303: so i pushed harder
303: we ended up at our apartment
303: sorry her apartment
lighdeh: ehen
303: ----------------------to be coninued :d
303: part 2
303: to God be d glory
lighdeh: looooooooooooooooooooooooooooooool
lighdeh: not fair
303: marketed and distributed by amaco investments no 33 idumota
road onitsha lagos
lighdeh: why now
lighdeh: not fair o
303: ok ok ok
303: so we began the whole serenren
303: ok men..this chick was soo annoyin...i tried all my moves
303: no work
303: then she gave me oral
303: she liked my equipment
303: gettin to the promised land was another thin
303: kept cumplainin dat it hurt
303: i mean wtf
303: next thin shes like "she cant do this....we are friends"
303: i mean i understood hw mike tyson must have felt
lighdeh: gat like 3mins303: hmmm ok
lighdeh: ill marry u
lighdeh: ill be ur mistress303: story
lighdeh: anyone
lighdeh: pls
303: u hate sex
303: so i cant marry u
303: sorry
lighdeh: na u tlk sey u no fit marry me
lighdeh: wen u start to dey beg
lighdeh: we go see
lighdeh: byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.
lighdeh: :-*
303: bye dear
303: be gud
303: and i was abt to kiss u to
303: too
303: hehehehe

10 comments:

Vincent said...

guess im prob d first reading this cos i checked just now and saw only d prayer stuf and now u put all dis long oloolooo stuff ... damn u can talk sha... sorry cant finish it sha no tym lyk dat but ill do so maybe anoda tym... thank God once again for ur sorted out admission and all... take my advice sha dont bail out again attend d little classes dat u still have left... in case of any test u prob missed, explain to d lecturer in charge...no HOD first and then lecturer... and d late registration thing, meet up with the faculty office and course advicer, they'l know hwat to do... take care sha and read my blog... ill prob put sumthing on today if it agrees to open for me..l8r

exschoolnerd said...

@vincent..thnx...will surely do all that.

azuka said...

Going commando. OH my gosh...

JJ said...

Wrong on so many levels, lol. Commando, equipment, bubu, part 2, to God be the glory, lmao!

Simply Gorgeous said...

Wow, this is really long, and you are right your friend is really strange. Enjoyed reading it all the same.

BabaAlaye said...

See this girl o. How can you wanna be my Blog mistress and still be flirting with one boy that is asking if you're wearing pata?

Mind yourself o.

BabaAlaye said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
exschoolnerd said...

@babaalaye...lol..it's harmless fun doesnt mean anything...m serious about it o!

Anonymous said...

i stopped reading when i reached the "clubbing" vs reserved type girl.

The Scientist.

segunkadri said...

Was that made from a reality show......lol........damn that was long i have to skip some lines wow i hate reading but i cant help it when it your posting.that was freaky,crazy,and mmmmmmmmmm abeg make someone help me i don forget wetin i wan write