Thursday, 8 March 2007

The Case Of The Missing Panties

Imagine if that was the name of a mystery novel..tell me you wouldnt' be interested in reading it...tell me you wouldn't devour page after page till you get to the bottom on the mystery.

I got home late after an exhausting day at school.As i made my way up the stairs all i could imagine was the feel of my soft bed caressing my weak,aching body and swimming in a sea of blankets.I longed to be on it so bad.
The door creaked as i opened it and walked into my room which looked like it had been hit by a cyclone.Clothes on the floor,on the bed..books not where they were supposed to be.And even more clothes carelessly laid on my makeshift treadmill.No it wasn't a cyclone that did this but the result of my sheer laziness.
As i lay on my bed i let my eyes rove around a little,surveying item after item and then i spotted it.
Another one was missing..the shock..the horror...i jumped out of my bed and searched around for it but it wasn't there.Just like my black panty it was gone.Dissapeared..apparently developed legs..
I couldn't understand why anyone would steal them.After my mum seized like 11 of my thongs(read here) and i was stuck with my great-grand mama panties..they still wont let me rest.

I was determined to get to the bottom of this and examined possible suspects.

Tomi: My cousin and the other girl in the house.Very mischievous and has a record.First person in the history of our family to have a code on conduct written for her.Extremely rebellious and can rival pinocchio in lying.

My oyekusibe(house keeper) : Just last week the bumbling idiot opened my door without knocking and saw me in my underwear...ass facing the door... the same thats missing ...he's been known to be a pervert in the past so i wouldn't be surprised if he stole them for sniffing purposes(the thought makes me want to puke) but you can't put it past it him.

My brothers: Closet drag queen's perharps...or being plain mischievous..

And so operashun show me ur payint..was on the way..

I called my cousin...examined wasn't mine.Took her upstairs for a thorough serch of her box and told her if she was the culprit i was ready to enact one wrestling move on her ass.
But what i saw shocked me even i searched he box i pulled out thong after thong after thong..after thong..
"Whats this i asked?"
"G-string's now,i dont wear pants anymore"
I laughed
"You've stepped up shey, just let mumcy catch your up-and-coming ashawo ass and you'll know,she seized mine and you think she'll be all jolly to find out that u have like six,berra dispose of this contraband before i inform her"

"Please now"

"I wont repeat myself...if i can't wear one can"

I did a thorough search of her belongings but found nothing with her.But she was still my number one suspect.

I proceeded to Mr. oyekusibe's quarter's while he cleaned the kitchen and searched every nook and cranny of his room but didnt come up with anything.

I checked my brother's room and mistakenly found their porn i still didnt find it..i searched places where they couldnt possibly be...but i still came up empty.

The search tire me and i was getting extremely pissed.

I decided to retire back to my room to continue the search later...but i just kept suspecting my cousin..i brought her back for more interrogation...

"Have u asked mummy, she said"

Asked mummy for what?

"Maybe she borrowed it?"

Thunda faya that your blasphemous mouth...

"I know when ur lying...ur always trying to put the blame on someone else"

"Where is my

"i didn't take it aunty laide...

"Look T i will ask you only once and ill konk you till u die"

I pulled out my secret weapon: Blackmail

"Where's that love letter that so so and so gave you"

And i made as if i was going to give my dad

And she calls me back...

"Aunty laide! aunty laide...come back come sorry.I took it.

Took it for what? i wore it

You se kini?

i wore them

Ill wash them for you

"So that whatwould happen?"

What about all yours?

They were all dirty and i just borrowed urs with hopes to wash them afterwards..

I think it was the holy spirit that was holding me back from giving the girl the tombstone cause i was ready to give her a back breaker.But i held myself back.....and that's how i solved the mystery of the stolen panties...

lol..m no sherlock holes but i try small sha.


Anonymous said...

what a detective u are, blackmail is sure a powerful weapon anyday, guess folks shld stay clean.....there no secret on d heaven. I was just wondering if the panties in question is one size fits all or the "big madam" blood flows all thru the famly tree or it was a safety pin that help her Love ur blogs, ride on girl

bimbylads said...

lmaooooooooo.. ur nuts.. loll.. afi payint! lol.. ur cousin needs serious flogging.. what arrant nonsense? stealing ur paiyint?? lollllllllllll abeg no kill me

azuka said...

Chei! SO are you still going to wear it after it's been you-know-where?

Lizzy said...

Your cousin no well at all oo. Hanhan, borrow pata? Warris the world turning to? lol...

But this is funny though, and i just found your blog. I can't RSS feed it though, hmmm.. maybe i just havent found the link. Anyways, i will go through other entries.

Now dnt tell me u dnt know who dis be.

Yosh said...

lmao! payints *lol* So your mind wandered until u noticed a void from d missing pant, no be food even first enter your mind as u got home. Na wa o!

kaydee said...

I hate pants. I'm a sailor any day.The most annoying thing is that that catapult is more expensive than the full pata. Hmmn!!! Don't get used to blackmailin oh! Just let her have all the pata!
Ma sistas go pantless lately and they think it's kool.Try it too.

Anthony Arojojoye said...

Sorry about that. One panty lost.

exschoolnerd said...

@anonymous...m not that endowed below i guess it'd fit her properly..thnx for the holler..appreciate it.

@bimby.....i feel u jare...flogging with koboko..not just normal pankele.

@azuka...haba! how do u know am still gonna wear it...hmmm?

@lizzy..i know who u r sweets..thnx for taking the time to leave a come back more often...

@yosh...i was too tired to think of food and i had serious killer cramps..

@kaydee..ur sisters...hmmm...their eyes r opening shey...sofry sofry o!

@anthony...not one but two o!

Simply Gorgeous said...

Ex school nerd- wow babe- Serious sherlock you are. At first I thought someone broke into your house but then I kept reading and realized that you were your own tornado. (smile)I was seriously laughing. I would have died if my housekeeper walked in. Your cousin has to be like the most nastiest person in the world. First, for not washing her own and 2 for wearing someone else's own. Let her keep them. And I would drop dimes, quarters on her ass for that stunt.

Anonymous said...

your cousin is a clown!and are growing up so fast it's unbelivable.

segunkadri said...

this particular panties issue na one Big Case which u solved good, i dont care about the method of retrieval but was nice .Bu the power given to me by National Detective's Academy to are now a Secret agent .....Agent L nice job ..................but i cant help laugh out loud .ahahahhahahahahahahahhhahahahhahahahhahahhahahhaahahahahhahaahhahahhahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahah

exschoolnerd said...

@S.p...i didnt know what to do when the housekeeper walked in..he's an old man and i didnt want to curse him out..but that doesnt mean he shudnt respect himself and knock...
@Molto sexy...abi o...thongs..low waist jeans...they just want to do everything they r'nt supposed to. i've always wnted to be a secret agent o!Sherlock holmes wannabe like me.

omohemi Benson said...

Na the title first shock me!
Missing panties? ke.

You better go buy a chest with lock and key for underwear o! and give your cousin a stren warning.

Vincent said...

nice read laide... enjoyed this one cos i really needed some sort of fun stuff... im bored stiff now sha...hope u can teach me a thing or two of that sherlock stuff so i can find out who's stealin popsi's the way whats imao??? i keep seein it everywhere... here, ovaloaded??? what is it...

exschoolnerd said... like thats what i shud do
@ vincent...LMAO means laffing my ass off.

Calabar Gal said...

Mystery of the missing panties solved. Next mystery please..... LOL!!!

Mr.Fineboy said...

HAHAHA! Payint thief! lol....funny blog...check mine out hun..