Wednesday, 14 March 2007

EXTRA EXTRA READ ALL ABOUT IT!

EXSCHOOLNERD'S WEEKLY NEWS.
N100, but for yall...free!
**Stalelite boy turns out to be a leech: Omohemi warned me oh...you all remember i told u about some dude i met who i thought was God sent then that was helping me out with my registration..well turns out after he helped me he wanted to get paid...can u imagine...i just lost all respect for him...i did settle him sha...not like i had to but he really tried for me..but i just thought he was doing it out of the kindness of his heart...yeah i know m a dundee...kindness of heart oshi wo...he also borrowed some money from me...to return it na wahala..I detest people like that because they helped u out they'll use every opportunity to get something from you.He hasn't paid me yet but by the time i am through people will think it's 150k he's owing me if he doesnt pay me back...so i guess the adventures of stalelite boy and didirin girl are over.....am so sad.
**Stalker alert: i was making a call infront of my faculty when this canary resembling dude comes over...
"i know you but you dont know me, i see you but you dont see me" and i was like whats wrong with this drunkard.
"Do you know me?" he kept asking...my name is(one yoruba name like dis)...i see you everytime always alone with ur ear phones....bla bla bla...and then he proceeds to follow me like a lost puppy.At one point it turned into "I want to be close to you,i want to love you"...i was mad i swear and he was acting all familiar and crazy.Saying we shud take a picture together..where do i know u from,did we use to fetch water from the stream together in a former life...what is it?
I know i love crazy peeps but more crazy-weird-quirky not crazy-i-just-escaped-from-an-insane -asylum-and -forgot -my-ritalin-there...these dudes shud stop trying my patience oh.....He said he watched me yesterday and described everywhere i went to...i swear i was scared..let him not be one wereh like this..He said he'll continue disturbing me as long as he sees me everyday....when he was tired he finally left...only for him to re-appear when i was going home...i swear the way he appeared i dont understand...maybe he's some ogbanje spirit but the dude is seriously fearing me oh.
**I had a dream: No not the martin luther kind...more like the senseless kind..if you know me you know am always having crazy dreams..If am not giving tony blair a lap dance in a school girl's outfit with a whip..i am turning into one of the power rangers and fighting evil forces of darkness that look like my relatives...this one was less quirky but still crazy.I was going out with some tall,djimon honsou lookalike..but a lot cuter...and he happened to be fat joe's friend(Dont ask cause i dnt understand myself)..anyways am doubting if its fat joe i really saw cause in the dream he was speaking yoruba to my dude at one point he was like "Omo laide yen,o fine gaan, ah omo to chown, o gbodo fi le o"(that laide girl is fine oh, you must not leave her).Yeah right i caught him sleeping with gabrielle union....and guess what i did...i was like heck...can i join in?lol...thats one dream i wont be telling my mum.
**Met with the editor of that mag: Okay so i went to see the editor of the mag am supposed to write for...i was mad cause i spent 900 bucks on cab cause i didnt know the place..i swear the thing is paining me right now...but anyways he was with some other dudes that also write and an artiste like this...one of them "roof top mc's"...okay i love those bois....not in a i love them lets have a fivesome kind of way...but i was like where have u guys been all my life....totally my kind of people..funny as hell...witty...smart...like oh my i know am gushing but i never meet people like me and here are like four of em....aww felt like i had died and gone to heaven....i had fun sha...
So i might be writing for a column called 'PaperBlog'....and he wants me to do an article on aristo girls...and since i dnt know any that might want to tlk about their experiences...if yall know anyone pls tell them to holler at me,or have any stories..the article is not to judge them or bash them just to understand why they do what they do and all...I'd go undercover but then there's the sex.
**I joined facebook: It's like everybody and their mama's dog is on face book....anyways i did follow follow after much persuasion from my friend ralph and joined.yaaaayyy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
**i Just saw this (josh sent it to me-thanx hon) and am gushing and it's scary that all what she says about me is true...except the obseSsing over American culture thingie...Read what she says about me here SISI EKO'S TAKE ON EXSCHOOLNERD thanx sweets...would take ur words to heart.
*My brothers are away and i have the home to myself....PARTAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!...yeah right! I invited obinna to come over so we can hang out and all..hope he comes sha they'll be alot less peeps at home..which is nice..not for the reasons you think..u dirty minded being.Or is it?
*Pepper rest: so i got some money recently...its true when they say if u get money through yama yama means you just spend it stupidly till u dont know when it's all gone.I inflated the prices of some stuff i wanted to buy...and i made a handful...but now i cant even say i spent his on this..or on that...am so sad.Moral of my story: I shud have stolen more.
Ta ta people...and look forward to the next edition of Exschoolnerd's weekly news.

10 comments:

Simply Gorgeous said...

So I am first! Yeah! Go Gorgeous its your birthday, Go Gorgeous, Go, go, Go. (Whew) Fancing always makes me tired.

Simply Gorgeous said...

I am back by the way I meant to say dancing not fancing. I don't want you to think I am illiterate. Ok so your dreams are past quirky they are down right bizarre. You want to give Tony blair an lap dance and Fat joe a threesome (LOL).Hmm... you know I am going to ask Ex- I did not know you are a freak of the week. (smile)

exschoolnerd said...

lol...someone's happy to be first on my blog..thats nice..

haba s.p i meant me,my dude and gabrielle union...fat joe ke..o fe kpa mi....so i guess am not that much of a freak anymore shey?

azuka said...

You have completely rounded the bend. Those dreams na waya oh!

Segunkadri said...

Power Rangers,Blair...........Then Fat joe speaking yoruba then Naija na heaven ............lol.......quite an interesting dream......i would also like to quote llita"Find some positive Nigerian influences! Forget about America for a while!

Overall, great job but I must say, this is the time to take advantage of that creativity, do not let anything deter you."

Yosh said...

Assistance?: "Kindness of heart oshi wo"...hahahahaha, you just brushed yrself there! :P But anyhoos, intentions r better stated from the onset, that way it's better to know whatsup, than later trying to ask for som'n in return.

Stalker: i'd say u watch how u walk o! Don't go thru lonely places alone. I never knew there r freaks like that here.

Dream: Does it say something about your closet fantasies? :D

Editing Job: All the best! Hope it all turns out as you wish, and pro'ly positively more. Can't wait to start reading some of your writings! I'd be like, "I know that name from somewhere o!"

PS: This "Weekly Times" post sounds easier to do than worrying having to update bi-weekly or more, except when circumstances allow that. I'll take a cue! :)

Mr.Fineboy said...

HAHAHA! Be careful of that stalker guy o! LMAO@ Joe Nla! lol...funny post men! That comment u left on my page 'scoin scoin' had me cracking up! Take care hun...

uknaija said...

Great blog.

omohemi Benson said...

juOmo yii oki kin gbo oro o,ehn,otu ya stalite naa lowo?

You and this your dreams,lol.
Stalker again,what this? be careful o,I warn again.lol
Don't let him know your place.

Be cool love.

exschoolnerd said...

@omoyemi...lol..dnt mind me..at times ehn...am a complete swe gbe..