Cousin T is 17, yeah shocked.From my stories u probably thought she was like 9 or 10.T came to live with us in 1996, i rmember vividly it was a day before my birthday 5th of april...
why has my cousin been living with us for that long?
Well my grand mother had two Wishes before she died, a lavish party which she got and for my father to help train one of his brothers kids and thata how tomi made her way from ibadan to Lagos.
An innocent looking 6 year old she was and was absolutely frightened of everything.She couldnt speak a word of english only yoruba so it was kind of hard for us to communicate.But we did one way or the other.
she was enrolled in my mum's Nursery and Primary school and a year later T was speaking english like it was going out of fashion..lol..blowing fo-ne for all and sundry, at one point she even forgot how to speak yoruba completely.
But the path i see that innocent young girl of back then taking is one that would lead to a life of tormenting herself with "had i knowns" and "i wish i had listened"
Let me break down the whole situation to you,i am not in anyway trying to out my cousin.If i didnt care about her i wouldnt bother what path she's taking cause i have my own problems to deal with.But because i can't sit back and watch her do herslef in i just had to post this year to get ur opinions...
T loves the pepper seller kind of life, truth be told.She's someone whom everything has been provided for her but she's never content.No matter how good or high in quality what she has is...its whats the pepper seller has that she longs for.
she's crass, uncouth, very rude and never listens.
I know she has some self esteem issues like i did back then and ive tried to help her with it but she just doesn't want to listem...
she lets what other people think about her rule her life and although i know many of us have been down that road before...me inclded..i now know how liberating it feels when you finally make up your mind to not care what the world thinks of u and the decisions you make cause you alone will have to deal with them in the end.
I know what she's going through but i feel if i had someone talking to me back then like i do to her, it'd have gone a long way.
she doesnt care about her studies one bit,i thought i didnt read in school but she doesnt even pick up her notes, that if they are even complete.Her going to school is gisting with friends about why tola is forcing herself on michael and carrying his book s home for him (true story)
I honestly believe that if she spent half the time she did on her hair on her studies..she'd be getting A's like no man's business.Honestly the most imprtant thing to her right now his her hair and you risk getting stabbed if you mess with her hair.
she's forever tightening her clothers..cutting them,destroying everything she has to make them shorter and tighter and ends up looking cheap and pitiful..which is really sad.
I asked her whats your greatest asset and she said "my shape"
And i said T dear your shape,ass and boobs can only get you so far,when it reaches a point where u really have to prove yourself what then would you do.The time when ur shape just wouldnt cut it...
She's using make-up after she has been warned not to, shes talking about bleaching and all...
I dont know what she's looking for but whatever it is she will find it oh if shes not careful..Her life is about pleasing outsiders she longs to be accepted and liked by everybody not realising that not everyone will like you...some will some wont..u cant please everyone..
She was expelled from her frist school and now she almost got suspended,she goes about with people she doesn't know..forgetting that Lagos is a dangerous place and not everybody that shines teeth with u is ur friend..
She's seen as a market woman on the street cause of the way she behaves..but i gues its the way you carry yourself that people address you right?
Every other day some riff raff that doesnt know his left from right is writing her some sordid letter or accosting her on the road...She's not the only teenager wher i live but the only one they feel they can step up to because of how she acts...
But T is not all bad..at all..she has her good sides and she's written me letter before that would put some supposed graduates to shame and if only she would focus....i saw the look in her parents eyes when they saw he rgraduation picture...they were very proud...
For someone to say "If i get pregnant my mother wil take care of the baby" just shows that she doesnt know any better.She doesnt know how the world is and its just so sad.She's forever with the bad friends..the ones that swear they are going to rock unilag when they finish school..that everyone will know their name. For what? For bottom power shey?
Never the one's that aim to make something out of theirselves...
It's been a while since she's seen her folks, could that be the problem?Or should she go back to Ibadan and get a dose of reality but am afraid the ibadan life is the kind of life she longs for and going back might prove drastic for her as she listens to no one...
The worst of all her traits is her amebo..I really dont like people tht make it a habit of mindin other people's business and its slowly making me like her alot less evryday.She's forever knowing who is pregnant, who is a witch or which brick layer called iya monsura a maloo..irrelevant stuff that wont help her life..she believes in over familiarity which i also detest.
She knows the first and last names of everybody on the street..names that i dont even know and iv lived there longer than her.thats because she minds her business.She can never be sent anywhere without there being a search party to look for her cause she talking chaw chaw chaw chaw chaw to one person or the other....i am tired...i have been talking to her for 3 years now,Gods my witness i have tried and she hasnt changed or listened...and i feel like giving up and letting whatever wants to happen happen...but if she was my sister would i allow that..no!
I have pleaded,talked,shouted....what else can i do..what do i need to do to get thru to her before its too late...everybody has tried even my parents..i jus dont know what else to do.
Obinna said she needs a good boyfriend(dont we all) since she listens to outsiders better.Maybe he can be the one to effect the change in her...but i dunno whether he's vying for the post...but she really needs HELP now...B4 its too late.