Friday, 27 April 2007

Blaaaaaaaaah!!!

Guess who am with now......no not kanye west...haba..no no..not satan.....na u go meet satan..no not father christmas... Guess guess now.....Hmm....Omohemi...i met her today...it's weird how we met but we did meet n it wasn't planned and she seems like such a lovely person someone i'd love to get to know better...

I promise my next post is goint to be the completion on my BLOGPLAY okay?...na just owu dey blow me....but ill post it soon.

well my weeks been fine,my worlds been revolving round this friend imoh i've been tlking to lately..we used to talk before and something happened and we didnt tlk for a long while,tunrs out helost his fone...he's from akwa ibom...how come i keep meeting people from that side lately, anyways we have this bet that by May 9th he would have suceeded in making me fall in love with him...hehehe...and am trying everything possible to put him offf..kinda like that movie"How to lose a guy in 10 days"....he's such a stud, he's a tv actor, a producer, sexy, lovely person and all.Extremely funny and witty....okay he told me to say all this...we talk alot sha...and he's so going to lose his bet.

Ever since MTN introduced "free midnight calls" my night has never been the same, i rarely sleep and since i dont call my friends on the daily i make up by calling them at that time,so there's usually go slow on my line...i could be talking and have like 6 calls waiting....am hot like that!....lol....ill now have to start sharing time...1:03 to 1:34 for emeka, 2:00 to 2:25 for ibrahimoh, 4:00 to 4:15 to dismiss makinde...lol...currazzy stuff.And there's been a lot of midnight toasting...This one time i was talking to this dude.....and well i was lying on the bed and i noticed one evil movement i know all too well...a flying cockroach.

I f u see the kain race i pick ehn,i flung my fone it scattered all over the fone...flew out of the door and found myself outside...nightshirt and only kpata ..panting..trying to catch my breath..mission impossible stuvs i swear...Tom cruise has got nothing on the kain stunt i pull sef....chei...i wounded my knee...ko ni da fun cockroach yen(e no go better for that cockroach)....so there i was only in kpata and shirt praying pupsie doesnt come and see me....i peep into my room and the cockroach is just flying mad...chei! Feeling cool with himself probably singing

"This is why am hot, this why am hot, this is why,this is why, this is why am hot,am hot cause when i fly, u aint cause u run,"

Okay oh we go see...

where will i sleep tonite oh....my cousin is still in the room..that one can sleep thru a cyclone....anyways i need to wake my cousin so she could help me kill the cockroach or am sleeping on the corridor...the library is occupied,my brother and i aren't tlking...my mums bed is full of stuff..and my mum is sleeping on my dads bed...downstairs is a no-no cause that's them cockroahces playground....so i just have to sleep in my room.


You have better luck waking up a hibernating bear than my cousin....i could see the roach wasnt moving so i snuck in...my heart beating trying to wake my cousin..my eyes never leaving the cockroach...i was tapping the yeye girl,she didnt wake up...she's used to mumbling some incessant rubbish whenever u wake her..like sleep talking..a while back i used to write them down for her to see when she woke up...bt i was delivered from the spirit of joblessnes..THANK God.

"T please wake up."

"ehn?"

with sleep in her eyes

"The sugar has eaten the parrot"

WHAT? what is this one saying...wake up jare

"OOOOOhhhhh, I put it back in the packet"...

"You put what back in the packet, better wake up jare i said as i pinched her...

"YEH!!!, she screams and she eyes me...

Please ehn help me kill that cockraoch...she dozes back to sleep...wake up now i dont wnt the cockroach to escape....i hand her a shoe

i quickly leave the room....and close the door...i didnt hear anything at first.

i open the door and she's sleeping again...see this yeye...i pinch her again..wake up now...pls help me kill the cockroach...i run out and close the door..

this time i hear her hitting one thing on the other...if this girl doesnt kill this cockroach ehn, she'll do night vigil till she sees the cockroach and kills it.

After a while..she comes out with the dead cockraoch...i had never been happier...this is why ur dead,this is why ur dead,this is why this is why this is why ur dead...oloshi....bastard..devil pikin...want me to sleep in corridor..make one other ashawo cockroach enter my yansh...idiyoot.

I shake her and promise her some dough the next day.....if not for my cousin ehn...i wouldnt have slept that night....i picked up up fone...call mr toaster...and he's like...i heard u screaming like someone was about to murder u what happened....i couldnt say cockroach...because he might be thinking "Which kain wereh be dis"....guess the stupid reason i gave...something fell on me...a box!....sometimes ehn..didirin per excellence.

20 comments:

Anuoluwapo said...

LOL.... Dalm those flying bugs mehn.... i remember this one time, i am sleeping and i feel something walking on my head and next thing that yeye stench that follows them... ohhhh my Gawd... no one could have woken up faster than i did... dalm... damm those things mehn.. wonder why God created them...

omohemi Benson said...

It was nice meeting you too love.
I was sooo shocked and excited and I couldn't speak.
Hope to see more of you soon.

omohemi Benson said...

lazy girl, as you big reach na roach the pursue you. lol
lol@didrin per excellence.

Nyemoni said...

I will save my comments for another day.... love this funny post, as always...

Pink-satin said...

lol...this is tew funny...but i dont know why pple are afriad of roaches tho!man back in 9ja i could hold them in my hands...But RATS..they are disgusting..i can pack out of a house cos of a rat

exschoolnerd said...

@anu.....hah,,i cant marry u oh..wat if we r about to sleep and we see a flying roach na so both of us go they run....lol

@omohemi....lol at as i big reach..yes oh...elephants hate rats innit..not that i am equating myself wt an elephant oh..


@nyemoni..thanx sweets...

@pink-satin..iyama..hold em in urhand..id die..am notthat terrified by rats i cn stand dem a lil but roaches..mba!

Nilla said...

How you dey?

MTN has free midnight calls?

LOL @ the cockroach feeling cool and probably singing to itself.

Nilla said...

I like your new blog look :-)

Simply Gorgeous said...

Ex-Iam in love with your new design...

Very funny story I hate insects also.But ex you dey craze!!

Please go and visit yosh he isnot happy that you have been ignoring him. Wienna stays toasting him day and night...


How did you recognize Omohemi she does not have her picture posted?

chicala said...

hehehehehe, lol @ "This is why am hot, am hot cause i fly, u aint cause u run,".
i love this post( well, as always). dont mind those yeye roaches jere, annoying creatures!
but u'r lazy o, that ur cousin had to help u terminate the thing, lol.
thanks for stopping by my blog, i'll brb 4 ur next post.:)

azuka said...

Laide, you're too much.

The sugar has eaten the parrot...

And the new blog look is superb.

exschoolnerd said...

@nilla...hey u!!!! funny u shud holler..u crossed my mind recently...thnx for commenting on the look..it's about time..

@ ex...its funny sha..as in i went somewhere to see someone...and then i met her ther and she told me to wait.i didnt know it was her yet oh...we started tlking and she aske dme how i knew the person that recommended me o the prson i was supposed to meet an di said we both have blogs and we met online..and she was like "u have a blog?" and i was like yes..and she asked for the name and when i said exschoolnerd..she was like "It's a lie"..ur exschoolnerd...i just finised reading ur blog...am omohemi...i cudnt believe it...it was rili nice meetn her and that way too.

@chicala..my sister its nt about laziness oh..those things terrify me...i have a roach phobia i swear..if i cud kill dem i wudnt hesitate,bt they scare me shitless.

@azuka...thnx sweets....oh u like the new look...nice!!!

black'n'nerdy said...

lol i feel ur pain about the cockroach incident and i bet u every nigerian has their own tale to tell whether posh or not!!
like there was this day i was in shorts and a tank top and an elctrician came to repai our security lights and my mom asked me to go stand wiv him.. i got a wrapper and covered myself and went to meet him ... this flying cockroach came flying round my head hen! say screaam.. the guy almost fell off his ladder thinking maybe a snake was biting me i didnt know wen i let go the wrapper and stood in almost nudity... he had a field day checking me out and he didnt even try to help me
after excaping the roach and seein me in shorts,, he still had the nerve to call me ajebutta!!! imagine!!

KINGSLEY said...

LAIDE u are really one very funny person. though its a bit of a surprise that a roach can scare u that much. thank T the exterminator for me and I hope you kept your word to her or else the next time.....

יושה (Yosh) said...

How come you happen to be the victim of most of these cockroaches? Your cockroach tick-tock would've gone beyond 5 now, based on my counting...

Write "I am covered with the blood of Jesus" on your wall and see that no more cockroaches will even see a vacuum to your room self. Try it 1 month for free, and you'd be paying me for extra consultation subsequently, after signing all the TOS. :)

web-o said...

lmao @ the sugar has eaten the parrot .... brings back memories; u and boys ehn?

exschoolnerd said...

@black and nerdy...lol...dt must have been really embarassing..i cn only imagine

@yosh...m not tlking to u.

@web-o..me and bois how?

monie said...

Wow. I feel like I've been away from the blog world for way too long! I'm loving your new (well, new to me) page. I apparently have tons of reading to do to catch up so I'll get to it immediately.

Keep doing your thing, chick... You do it well. :=)

exschoolnerd said...

thnx monie...

יושה (Yosh) said...

:( Say it ain't so! :(