Sunday, 8 April 2007

Ex- school Olodo!

Azuka is 18…damn! Ur a small boy oh..i remember when I was 18….i say it like its like 10 years ago…at that time everybody used to praise me on how smart I was for an 18 year old but now that am 21…no one says anything..its almost like its normal for you to be smart at that age…yeah right…u should meet some 21 year old’s not naming names oh….but if guilty conscience is cashing u…hmmm!!!...one of them likes vagina punching bags.

Am not exactly the brainiac that am sure some people think I am…or yall don’t..sharrap…

I once came 2nd and 4th doe...if that counts for anything..though people said it was ojoro that it was because my teacher liked me...hmmm...liked me so much he made me 2nd...haters oshi!

I've had my fair share of A's,B's...C's the occasional D's the ever steady E's and the deadly F!

…I’ve gotten the odo’s over 100…the odo’s where my teacher will draw my eyes,nose and mouth inside the zero to emphasize my olodoness…chai…I was an olodo per excellence…okay I kid I kid…I was more or less an average student..not the most brilliant but not the daftest either…

Nothing scared me more in class than when the teacher asks us to come and solve a sum on the board…and no one answers and he says he's going to pick someone..I try not to avoid his gaze cause then he’ll know am trying to evade being called out so I’ll do the opposite and stare at him eyes wide…smiling from ear to ear…silently praying…don’t call me! Don’t call me!

LAIDE!…darn!

As I make my way to the board all am saying is “Devil ur a bastard, ur a bastard, ur a real bastard…ur a big fat bastard…my mum told me u were a liar but she forgot the bastard part…I know this is ur work..it has ur name written all over it”

I collect the marker from the teacher and go to the board knowing fully well I do not have any idea how to solve the sum…
i look the sum, the sum sef look me..i look am back..im sef stare me down…chei! Which kain disgrace be dis…infront of class…wen I’ve wasted enough time the teacher will tell me to gerraway and call one ovasabi to come and solve the problem….and ill rush back to my seat…10 sizes littler than how I came out…..with everybody thinking ‘There goes the olodo’…lol..am sure she loves fish eyes.

I remember in ss1 when they started this thing of calling the bottom three in every set and the top three out during a special assembly and flogging them and disgracing them infront of everbody even their juniors. I tot it was uncalled for..like haba! Why do u have to do that..its bad enough the person failed do u have to flog him/her again..yall have wahala sha…

Then all the olodo’s..semi-olodo’s….half-olodo’s….will start praying their name doesn’t get called..cause it’s the worst disgrace ever..

Its then I’ll start making my vows to God..

Father please if my name doesn’t get called

i wont lie that i have asthma even though i havent had an attack in years to get out of carrying food,cutting grass and saturday morning jogging.

I’ll stop using my bible for x and o


I’ll reduce the slit on my Sunday devotion dress

I’ll wear the dress and go for my first Sunday devotion

I’ll not slam my tablemate’s award wining Tuesday afternoon jollof rice

I’ll stop rubbing that evil Snr’s cutlery in my armpit, and I’ll stop thinking of putting it in my pant too..

I’ll not hide behind the two lockers at the back of the room during morning devotion.

I’ll stop stealing my bunkmates golden morn…


Father in your mercy, if my name is on the list blot it out..

Laide Adewale!!!

Ah….i’ll grab my chest…chei! Jesus u have a sense of humour oh…ah…I thought it was me..okay I get the msg..the evil I have done is too much for my name to be blotted out…

Okay I’ll win souls for u…

And then the special assembly is over, my name doesn’t get called and I go to dorm and steal my bunkmates goldenmorn…lol….May God help me.

21 comments:

SCOMISS said...

LMAO...laide u always crack me up...but i can so concur with the assembly thing o...but i never got flogged sha..we thank God

azuka said...

Wait for me while I fetch my cane :-(.

Anonymous said...

chai ...Jesus U get sense of humor o....now dat's a very funny one.....nice one.......U know I was always one of those ones U'll have loved 2 hate cause I was always laughing while U were getting beaten.........brilliant boy......lol.......nice one --- Pelli

Ugo Daniels said...

Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaat? I can't believe after all those prayers, you still....omg.

You really deserve to be flogged.

btw, wats using ya bible to do x and o?...dont call me olodo ooo!

Kingsley said...

what if God was one of us, Just a slob like one of us.... he'll def be wpin u dirty slaps and kikn ya fine behind. But then again, I can only say that we've all had our fair share of misdeeds and urs truly ain't an exception. I also want u to know that u re def one of da smartest pips me know and I know u can only get beta I just pray that ur kolomental does notimprove as well. (for those who don't agree, na bad bele dey worry dem, so no look dem face)

Anonymous said...

hey am new to this blog culture thing but i was wondering if u cud gimme hints as to how i can be read by others thanx. btw i love ur blog its awesome!

Anonymous said...

i left the last note my addy is blackandnerdy.blogspot.com

Olu said...

@ Ugo Daniels, have u ever watched Therahawks? That show on Channel 5 and @ d end, they show this game X & O. Its mad fun. I forgot d real name sha...

@ Laide...na wa for u o, u use bible do x & o? Abomination! After that sweet confession & prayer u made, u still go fap d Golden Morn? Ole!

יושה (Yosh) said...

lmao! I've had my fair share of those "there goes the olodo" moments...hahaha, you so got the whole scenario right, trying to dodge the teacher's face or hold one's gaze. Unfortunately, they'd call you out, still... :D

exschoolnerd said...

@scomiss...if i slap u ehn..effico like u get called out..u remember i used to dub from u back in jss3.

@azuka...will u drop that cane..smallie.


@pelli.yeah i hated guys like u bck then..

@ugo.. x and o..that game now...google it..

@kigsley..thanx jare...at least sumone loves me in all my olodoness..

@black n nerdy...will holler at ur blog..thnx for stopping by

@olu..emi ni ole..i give u number u no fit call.

@yosh....josh u seem like like on of em effico types o...hmmm...gues ur justan olodo like me.

Simply Gorgeous said...

Thank u for updating! So how was your b'day? You truly have not learned from your promises. I think God is used to that by now. People requesting something and when they get it not fulfilling their promises. (LOL)

Bighead I have finally updated.

Waffarian said...

Laide, come and join the protest march at simply gorgeous.
Do you know old "manowar" songs?

uknaija said...

You dis girl sef...

dolly said...

Olodo rabata oju eje lomo je... I love X and O too

Omo u sabi pray wela

Seun said...

rub the cutlery in ur armpit...deng!!!!evry1 has had deir olodo moments jo

BabaAlaye said...

Laide. Olodo ni e o. Chei!!!

Voyeur said...

Lol at everything plus including the part about putting the fork in your pant, dirty girl. Ehn I know you were only thinking about it but still!

My sister and I used to put a spoonful of piss into one particularly annoying family friend's tea because he kept telling us women belong in the kitchen.

Ok enough from moi, going to read another entry. Can you see how jobless I am?

Afrik said...

lol. Girlllllllll dat was funny. I pity for dem seniors sometimes. Imagine all kinds of ijekuje.

REDRIBS said...

Na wa o, u never cease to amaze. Anyways, I buzzed a day b4 ur bday, my bad, thot twas 5th....hope u enjoyed ursef sha.
U guys really haven't answered Ugo's question
@ Ugo Daniels, she meant, she played x and o in some blank pages or spaces she HAD in her bible and probably other people's bibles after she used up all of hers.
Laide, u went to a creme school o, u used marker boards not chalk boards, it's bunz 4 u o.

My blog page shows some kinda language all through and I can't understand it a little to even use the option of changing back to english. any ideas?

exschoolnerd said...

no it happens at times

Nwanyi said...

lol..u had markers we had chalk adnd blackboards!!