Azuka is 18…damn! Ur a small boy oh..i remember when I was 18….i say it like its like 10 years ago…at that time everybody used to praise me on how smart I was for an 18 year old but now that am 21…no one says anything..its almost like its normal for you to be smart at that age…yeah right…u should meet some 21 year old’s not naming names oh….but if guilty conscience is cashing u…hmmm!!!...one of them likes vagina punching bags.
Am not exactly the brainiac that am sure some people think I am…or yall don’t..sharrap…
I once came 2nd and 4th doe...if that counts for anything..though people said it was ojoro that it was because my teacher liked me...hmmm...liked me so much he made me 2nd...haters oshi!
I've had my fair share of A's,B's...C's the occasional D's the ever steady E's and the deadly F!
…I’ve gotten the odo’s over 100…the odo’s where my teacher will draw my eyes,nose and mouth inside the zero to emphasize my olodoness…chai…I was an olodo per excellence…okay I kid I kid…I was more or less an average student..not the most brilliant but not the daftest either…
Nothing scared me more in class than when the teacher asks us to come and solve a sum on the board…and no one answers and he says he's going to pick someone..I try not to avoid his gaze cause then he’ll know am trying to evade being called out so I’ll do the opposite and stare at him eyes wide…smiling from ear to ear…silently praying…don’t call me! Don’t call me!
As I make my way to the board all am saying is “Devil ur a bastard, ur a bastard, ur a real bastard…ur a big fat bastard…my mum told me u were a liar but she forgot the bastard part…I know this is ur work..it has ur name written all over it”
I collect the marker from the teacher and go to the board knowing fully well I do not have any idea how to solve the sum…
i look the sum, the sum sef look me..i look am back..im sef stare me down…chei! Which kain disgrace be dis…infront of class…wen I’ve wasted enough time the teacher will tell me to gerraway and call one ovasabi to come and solve the problem….and ill rush back to my seat…10 sizes littler than how I came out…..with everybody thinking ‘There goes the olodo’…lol..am sure she loves fish eyes.
I remember in ss1 when they started this thing of calling the bottom three in every set and the top three out during a special assembly and flogging them and disgracing them infront of everbody even their juniors. I tot it was uncalled for..like haba! Why do u have to do that..its bad enough the person failed do u have to flog him/her again..yall have wahala sha…
Then all the olodo’s..semi-olodo’s….half-olodo’s….will start praying their name doesn’t get called..cause it’s the worst disgrace ever..
Its then I’ll start making my vows to God..
Father please if my name doesn’t get called
i wont lie that i have asthma even though i havent had an attack in years to get out of carrying food,cutting grass and saturday morning jogging.
I’ll stop using my bible for x and o
I’ll reduce the slit on my Sunday devotion dress
I’ll wear the dress and go for my first Sunday devotion
I’ll not slam my tablemate’s award wining Tuesday afternoon jollof rice
I’ll stop rubbing that evil Snr’s cutlery in my armpit, and I’ll stop thinking of putting it in my pant too..
I’ll not hide behind the two lockers at the back of the room during morning devotion.
I’ll stop stealing my bunkmates golden morn…
Father in your mercy, if my name is on the list blot it out..
Ah….i’ll grab my chest…chei! Jesus u have a sense of humour oh…ah…I thought it was me..okay I get the msg..the evil I have done is too much for my name to be blotted out…
Okay I’ll win souls for u…
And then the special assembly is over, my name doesn’t get called and I go to dorm and steal my bunkmates goldenmorn…lol….May God help me.