Tuesday, 1 May 2007

Blog play part 2

This is a continuation of my blogplay(click link for part 1) Characters are fellow bloggers.
Bimby: Damsel pray look at me, am I not beautiful enough? (Turns round to be viewed by damsel properly)

Damsel: You know u are

Bimby: I know I am I am asking you if I am

Damsel: Yes u are, u are now…

Bimby: so why? Why has no man come to ask for my hand in marriage?

Damsel: you know men, blind as they can be

Bimby: what is it that ex has that I do not, tell me! Does she have two heads?

Damsel:Not that I know off

Bimby: (stares at damsel angrily)

Damsel: No she doesn’t have two heads…

Bimby: Never! Never! Olu must not marry Ex, as long as I live and breathe.. olu will be mine.What is it?

Damsel: You must do something o, u must do something.

Bimby: Do u havre anything in mind?

Damsel: Eh..well I’ve been thinking,what if we (Whispers) Visit the great ‘babaalaye of blogville’

Bimby: the medicine man?

Damsel: Yes, we visit him and ask for something that would ensure that Olu doesn’t choose Ex so the rest of us have a fair chance

Bimby: Hmmm…not that a bad idea..but biko who is the rest of us?

Damsel: Ahah, me and the rest of the women in blogville now, abi is it only you that is overripe for marriage

Bimby: okay o! but..but eh I have heard about this great babalaye oh…and his ways and how he collects his fee from men and women alike.

Damsel: how do you mean?

Bimby: He sleeps with them!!

Damsel: TUFIAKWA!!! Abomination in the highest order.

Bimby: so you see it is out of the question cause I certainly wouldn’t sleep with a medicine man…ic nanot even imagine myself doing that thing with him..mba! damsel you know I am a virgin.

Damsel: you are?

Bimby: why do u ask like u do not know

Damsel: I didn’t know you were, you know after anyebi,obinna,kingsley,kennena,alex,nnamdi…I thought the pot had broken

Bimby: Waka! It is your pot that has shattered…

Damsel: Na u know o!

Bimby: That is not the case now, it is public knowledge that u are not a virgin maybe u should be the one to see babaalaye..

Damsel: Chineke! Public knowledge how?

Bimby: forget the act we all know you have tasted the forbidden fruit.

Damsel: I have eaten no such fruit..

Bimby: I mean you have slept with a man…

Damsel: says who?

Bimby: my sources I cannot reveal….

Damsel: so what if I have,what are u implying.That I be the one to spread for babaalaye

Bimby: you are catching on quickly

Damsel: Tufia!!(she throws her hands over her head and snaps her fingers) tufiakwa! …you are the one that wants Ex out of the picture so badly…why can’t you do it…oh I forgot u are a virgin…indeed!

Bimby: you forget that I told u I have my sources

Damsel: and so?

Bimby: one of whom is a very good parrot and told me of how you got that Lagos doctor to perform that abortion….when u and ikenna did the jiggy jiggy.

Damsel: Ewo! Who told u bimby…who who?

Bimby: you needn’t know that but if you don’t want papa damsel hearing such news or the whole town..because you know the shame such an act carries…I suggest you have a rethink of doing the jiggy with babalaye..since u do it so well..(She lets out a laugh)

Damsel: You wouldn’t dare bimby, aren’t we friends.

Bimby: Of course we are, of course we are… but desperate times call for..u know the rest….please don’t be angry.


Simply: Ex, are you not going to the town square?

Ex: for what?

Simply: Olu ha called all young and decent women of blogville,we are all supposed to come with some dish prepared by us.

Ex: We? Us? Please rephrase that statement quick quick.The man is smart indeed, some free food and beautiful women to pick from.This madness he calls searching for a wife can be likened to going to the market square in search of mangoes and examining one after the other..and dismissing them one by one for one flaw or the other. I will be no one’s mango my dear.

Simply: dont tell me you wont al least go and see.

Ex: I have no time, amebo is your forte not mine my dear.

Simply: well I am going oh

Ex: spoken like a true amebo.

Simply: Thank you, mrs I am nobody’s mango..

Later in the day…..

Ex is cutting some firewood in her compund when she sees Simply running towards her..

Simply: He is coming! He is coming!

Ex: If it is nhot our Lord;s arrival you ae announcing you must better have a good reason for rushing in and shoutiong like this…

Simply:(trying to catch her breath) Olu is coming , he followed me here.He was told I was your friend and he couldn’t understand why you weren;t at the town square.

Ex: and so he followed you here? Is he mad? Come quick lets go in.

Olu: is that the house?

Josh: yes it should be the man said to follow the girl, that she’d lead us to Ex..

Olu: Okay lets go!

Olu:I greet you oh! Who is here. Good evening oh!(he knocks the window pane)

Ex: who is that disturbing my sleep?

Olu: I am very sorry,if I awakened you but I would like to speak with exschoolnerd, I was told she lived here.

Ex: and what business have you with her, does she know you?

Olu: No! but that is my purpose of being here, I wish to introduce myself to her properly.

Ex: okay go ahead she is listening.

Olu: can I at least see her?

Ex: look here Mister, speak or leave at once

Olu: Okay! Okay! I am Olu from iyara town and I come to blogville to seek a wife, a companion, someone that I can take to iyara and be proud of. Tales of ur beauty have spread as far as kaduna..it’s one everybody’s lips and I want to see for myself this beauty and take you as my wife…. Let me give u gifts of fine clothes form Lagos.

Adorn you with beads of gold and chains of silver

Let me build for u a great house of lime and stone

Let me furnish it for u with furnishings of crystals that those who see it shall sing its praise

Let me satisfy your good parents.

O ex let me urs and you be mine.

Silence for a while..

Ex: (she laughs loudly) you must be mad!

Josh : Ah! There is no cause for insults.

Ex: take me for your wife. Did I say I was in need of a husband.Or you think I am like the other woman who are moved by riches and titles, you are very mistaken Mr. Whatever u call urself

Olu: but…

Ex: leave my window before I mistake u for some stray fowl and pour on u some hot water. I have gotten better advances from sheeps…you have said nothing I have not heard before. You are just like the other men thinking your riches will entice me. Well Mr. you have said your piece and like hot pepper to the mouth, it causes the same sensation to my ears. I am not interested in your lime stone furnishings or crystal castles....so like I said before leave or be baptized with some hot water.

Olu: But, but..what is it that you seek Ex! Wont u at least do me the courtesy of seeing you. You are beautiful they say but I must say your beauty certainly doesn’t occupy your insides,It has intoxicated you and now you cant seem to be able to climb down from ur high horse.

Ex: you will not insult me like that.Who do u think you are? Now get out of this compound at once.

Olu: No! I will camp at your doorstep till you decide to show me ur face.I will stay ere and sing from sunset till the stars rule the sky.

So you had better tie your wrapper and come out now…

Ex: well have a nice time waiting, for you will wait till fowls have teeth before you see me.

Olu and josh wait in the compound all day singing joyfully…..

Simply: Ex, it is night time and they are still around wont you just see him so he can be on his way.

Ex: No! let them sing til their throats start to bleed

Simply: Sooner or later you’ll have to go out for firewood or water so why not end this madness now..what des it take from, you if he sees you.

Ex: well, u are right but I’ll wait till dawn.let them wait some more…

Simply: okay oh! But he must really like you to lay awake and camp by ur window all night.

Ex: indeed! How can he like one he has not see or met before. Just like every other man it’s the beauty they are attracted to nothing else and I will not marry any man who wants me just because of that..

Simply: arrggh!! (she yawns) you should be happy they even want you for something…some of us who no man looks at twice what should we say.

Ex: I long for that kind of life simply.

Simply: hmm…I’ve heard..let us go to bed..it’s been a long day and a crazy one too..Goodnight my friend.

Ex: goodnight!

When Ex is sure simply is asleep she sneaks to the window to steal her first peek at this man who is so desperate to meet her.Tommorow they’ll come face to face. He had an amazing voice, the kind that felt like honey to the ears…she could listen to him sing all night.

The next day…..

Grandma: Ex! Ex oh my daughter

Ex: mama ! am here!

Grandma: what is that noise I keep hearing…I couldn’t sleep all night.

Ex: It’s just some mad man who wandered into our compound.

Grandma: Can’t he go and be mad somewhere else? Am I the cause of his madness that he should disturb my sleep like this? Biko do something about it my dear..Drive him away.

Ex: I will.

Simply: good morning oh ! hope you slept well.

Josh: you!

Simply: yes me, now close ur mouth and stop staring will you.

Olu: we didn’t sleep a wink, we sand sweet songs all night long awaiting the presence of her royal majesty but she didn’t think it nice to at least show face.

Simply: Well she’ll be out in no time and u’ll desist from using ur wooing tongue on her.

Olu: I can see she doesn’t take too well to that so I’ll do none of that.

Ex finally comes out and she’s carrying two buckets in each hand and trying not to meet his gaze. Olu is obviously enthralled by her beauty but pretends he is not. But josh cannot hide his amazement..

Josh: oh my!

Olu: Finally! She decided to grace us with her presence.

Ex: (walking away) Am going to the stream, I have no time for small talk.

Olu: so this is Ex, the one they all shout about.I am not impressed.

Ex: say what you will, neither am I jumping up and down by the sight of the much talked about olu of iyara.A mad man desperate enough to go about camping at girls windows…

Olu: only ur’s my dear.

Ex: you will not call me my dear. i have no time to sit and chat all day I have to go to the stream. Not all of us have somebody to tend to our every beck and call some of us actually have to work.

Olu: may I accompany you?

Ex: why would u want to do that?

He collects the buckets from her….

Olu: let me help you with that

Ex: (she tries to fight him off but lets go eventually) Thank you!

Olu: your welcome, u see being nice is a lot better. By the way your friend and mine seem to be getting along better than we are.

She turns around to see simply giggling with the strangers friend.,.

Ex: she’s a very nice girl. We can’t all be like her.

Olu: you are one too, but ud rather put up a show.

Ex: I do n such thing.

Olu: you’re a fiery one, remind me of my mother.Wish she were alive, you’d get on perfectly

Ex: oh am sorry about that, I also lost my parents so I know were the shoe pinches you.i live with my grandmother, who you nearly drove mad wityh you hideous voice.

Olu: am so sorry Ex! About your parents and your grandmother, but I always thought I had a farly good voice thought.,Mother had the voice of an angel, she used to sing to me all the time when I was younger, when I sing it brings back fond memories.

Ex: well actually you do have an amazing voice.

Olu: I know my ears are not deceiving me, did you just say something nice to me.

She smiles but doesn’t reply. They talk all the way to the stream and back, josh helps to gather some firewood to be taken back home.

Bimby: Eh! My eyes are telling tales…Damsel is that not Ex I see..with olu…olu and those two harlots..

Damsel:hmmm.Yes and that awful simply.

Bimby: damsel I am finished…I told you, I told you she would use her witchcraft.You can see for yourself..There she was acting like she wasn’t interested in olu..ah! never! We leave for babaalaye’s at dawn.

Watch out for part 3..the last part of the blog play

We thank the Lord God Almighty..

Part 3..come and see oh…lies,deceit,betrayal…ahhhhh…blood oh!..blood!!!!.suspense filled….ah..no miss am oh..make u no miss am..if u miss am…ah….



Simply Gorgeous said...

Ha...!! I am first so you are setting me up to fall in love with Yosh, abi? Na wow o....you are setting me up to bemarried to your blogville husband...wonders shall never cease.

I am waiting patiently for part 3 and the Naija movie to come out...oh by the way I am first...

dolly said...

Waiting for part 3

nice pics

Nigerican said...

MORE, i say give me more.... i'll be back for the rest of my entertainment k.

יושה (Yosh) said...

hahahaha, and lol @SG, I def smell where dis is going, but I hold my comments, for now! :)

Meanwyl, she won't talk to me...boohoohoo

Life through rose-tinted glasses said...

lol that was too mad how do u come up with this stuff babe

exschoolnerd said...

@simply...oya clap for ur self..ur getting smarter by the day..yes u and josh oh...

@dolly..thanx sweets..will be sure to post the last part soon.

@nigerican...lol..dont worry ill try not to let u down

@yosh...still not speaking with u..

@LTRTG..lol..i dunno myslf...boredom i guess.brings the best out of me...

יושה (Yosh) said...

[sings="The Corrs - What can I do?"] What can I do to make you happy?[/sings]

Kaydee said...

Very interesting! U got skillz gurl! Keep doing ur thing. No come turn am to Oyinbo thing wey no go end again oh!

REDRIBS said...

Laide, U are beginning to grow nuts. Good sequel! Can't wait for part 3 especially with the way u already hyped it the Nigerian way.

Blood blood blood

Inuke Omotola Davis said...

"Waka! It is your pot that has shattered"

Gurl you are too hilarious!

Anonymous said...

dis gal..u are tooo hilarious..will come back n read d story properly

exschoolnerd said...

@inuke..thanx for stopping by appreciate it.
@pink..do come back n read oh.

dairy of a G said...


azuka said...

Babaalaye the medicine man? Interesting!

All you girls sef. You too dey form!

exschoolnerd said...


The Last King Of Scotland said...

lemme know when the play airs so i can buy or reserve my ticket!

Anonymous said...

Ha, wer is our part 3 o :d