Saturday, 12 May 2007

Exschoolnerd's stories.

Please read this story and tell me if someone actually did this to you, how would u react...yeah both males and females...



Shola pulled over in the car park of the building that housed the apartment she lived in with her bestfriend Morayo.
Jide had interrupted her regular workout session when he called to tell her he needed to see her.
What had been so important that couldn’t wait till the next day when they were supposed to have dinner.
She had to hurry down quickly.

I hope nothing is wrong oh” she thought as she maneuvered her way around cars on her way home.
Then it hit her..oh! oh! Oh! How could she even forget, she had been over at his place the other night and after dinner they played cards. Jide had to take a leek and he hid his cards in his jeans pocket.Of course she went over to peek at the cards..the sneaky little devil that she was but what she saw left her even more excited.

Inside his pocket along with the cards was a little blue box, she opened it and there was a ring inside. The most beautiful thing she had set her eyes on. Jide was going to propose to her. she almost screamed then and there but didn’t want to spoil the surprise for him.
Finally… she thought…That man has finally come to his senses. They had been together for six years and she couldn’t imagine spending the rest of her life with anyone else but him. That and the fact that her biological time bomb was ticking and the long list of relatives and friends with the never ending questions of “When will you get married”. It reminded her of a funny song she skipped to as a child ,only this time it was more annoying and she was twenty nine. She wasn’t a young girl anymore and the exercises at the gym that used to be a cinch for her drove home that point. Whoa! her body ached like crazy.

Just as she parked infront of her building,her phone rang. It was jide asking where she was.

“I am already here, am entering the building right now” she said and cut the call.

As she made her way up the stairs she couldn’t help getting overly excited about it! “Mrs shola akintunde” it had a nice ring to it. She let out a loud scream which made Mr. Jimoh the man who lived downstairs rush out to find out what the noise was all about.

“shola is that you” he asked”

Eh, yes Mr jimoh”

“Anything wrong, why did you scream”

“Its nothing sir, am sorry hope I didn’t disturb madam, greet her for me o” she said as she continued upstairs to her apartment.

"Breathe..breathe..breathe... she said to her self calmly just before she opened the door to her apartment.She gathered herself and vowed not to let anything slip.
she didn’t want to foil his surprise. She wanted to look as surprised as possible when he popped the question.

She walked in and found jide lying on the bed.

“Baby whats wrong? I was scared when I got ur call o! You sounded as if something was wrong”

“Sorry I had to pull you out of working out”

“No its okay” she said

“But there was something very important I’d be putting off, I wanted to tell you today. I just had to”

“Your making me scared oh..jide! What is it?

Just then his cellphone rings.

“Let me answer this call shola” he said as he walked away to receive the call. He resurfaced two minutes later.

“Sorry about that”

“So what is it now” sola cried out impatiently.

Jide got down on his knees and at that point shola closed her eyes.

Oh it’s happening, he’s about to do it. But after a while and he didn’t say a word she opened her eyes and found him searching frantically for something under the bed.

“What is it? What are u looking for” she asked angrily.

“My keys, my car keys fell down, but I’ll search for it later.

Okay get down on your knees, why isnt he getting down on his knees. That’s how I always imagined it would be.


“Shola are you listening to me?”

His question brought her back from her thoughts.

“Yeah yeah sure”

“Shola I don’t know how to say this”

It’s easy ode, just get down on your knees and say “Sholly baby will you do me the honour of being my wife.

“You see for a while now, there’s been something on my mind that’s been causing me sleepless nights and I decided that today was the day I let it out…

“Yes! Yes! Yes I will…and she gave him a hug.

“Yes what! He answered looking confused. You are okay with us going our separate ways?

“Yes I am okay with…….ehn! ehn! Ehn! What did you just say jide?”

“Shola I am in love with someone else and I’ve been seeing her for some months now. I am sorry..i didn’t want things to end this way but..somewhere along the line I fell out of love…It wasn’t planned,this person makes me feel things I’ve never felt before and….

Kpass! She gave him a deafening slap.

“You fell out of love, jide what is this? You’re joking right…no tell me you’re joking..you know like you always do” she pleaded with disbelief in her voice.

He shook his head.

“I am not shola, am sorry I really am.

“What happened? I thought we were fine, I mean things where fine weren’t they and now you tell me you’ve been seeing someone behind my back.You bastard!

She leapt at him and rained punches while he tried to stop her.

“Get off! Get off me, that’s why I can’t be with you, you’ll end up killing me or something.

She picked up her keys and ran out of her apartment and downstairs to her car.She was about to get in when she realised it was her apartment she was leaving.

She made her way back and found jide on the phone about to leave and laughing like nothing had happened,like he didn’t just end their six year relationship.
She rushed him from behind and and started raining punches all over again like one possessed with rage.She grabbed his neck and attempted to strangle him but he pushed her hands off.
“I hate you!I hate you!and slowly she stopped hitting him as if she had lost all strength in her arms..
Why jide? Why? What did I do to deserve this jide? She let go of him and fell to the floor and continued sobbing.
Jide why? Do I deserve this? How can u do me like this after all we’ve ben through.
“No jide you’ll regret this I promise you”


”I am sorry shola,I didn’t plan for any of this..i am truly sorry. And he walked out of her apartment and out of her life.
She laid in the same position and wailed continuously till she fell asleep.The sound of her bedroom door opening awakened her.She looked up and it was morayo just arriving from the office.

“Shola! What is it? Why are you on the floor?

She went to her friend and saw she was crying.

“why are you crying?

“He broke up with me morayo,jide broke up with me.”

“What! Why? What happened?

“oya stand up and lie on the bed.

“No o! I want to lay here and die”

“Stand up jare, you can lie on the bed and die for a man that just left you”

“But what happened? did he say why?I mean I don’t understand oh”
“He said he was in love..with someone else and they’ve been going out for months..”

“It’s a lie! Jide!

“Morayo I am finished oh,jide has disgraced me.

“I never would have expected jide to do such a thing,I mean things seems fine between you both…he was seeing someone…hmm..men!”

“I don’t know, I really don’t know but I really want to wake up from this dream.How can jide do this to me? What did I do to deserve this? I was there for him all through,supported him in everything that he did…when he had when he didn’t have and he just..just discarded me like some..some…old rag..ah Morayo I can’t bear this..she ended admist tears.
“Shola o ti to..it’s okay..i know how u must feel.,I know it hurts. I wish I can see the bastard and give him a piece of my mind.You will be fine..as hard as it seems it’s good that it ended this way.instead of spending the rest of your life with his cheating ass.
“Ah Morayo no o! Nothing can console me oh…ah jide you could hurt me like this…
“He’ll get his don’t worry, Stop crying will you.Just sleep you’ll feel a lot better by tommorow…o ti to now.Just try and get some sleep.

The next morning Morayo went to check on Shola only to find out she was still crying.

“Did you even get any sleep at all shola?”

Shola raised her head from her tear soaked pillow and Morayo could see her eyes were all puffy and red.

“Shola try and pull yourself together, the bastard is out there happy and you are here crying yourself to sleep..It’s painful but is this how your going to be forever.”

“You don’t understand”

“I dont understand what, don’t even get me started. Do you know how many times I’ve been broken up with? I am going to have my bathe and prepare breakfast when I come back you must have had your bath and back to ur bubbly self again o”

But shola didn’t move an inch. She just lay in bed crying raining curses on jide under her breathe.

Minutes later Morayo rushes in with a glass of water and an envelope in hand.

“Shola! Shola! You wouldn’t believe what I stumbled on when I opened our front door.

“what is it” shola asked uninterestedly.

Are you sure you want to see this.I don’t think you should but if you want to.
“What is it?”

“it’s a wedding invitation from jide, I thought he just met the girl?”

“that’s a lie, bring it…

“Are you sure u want to see it?

“Bring it Morayo I need to see it to believe it…she said tears still rolling down her cheeks.

She gave shola the envelope.
Shola took a deep breathe and opened the envelope slowly.
“It’s purple! The bastard used my favorite colour…can you imagine
Mo da ron! The bitch has the same name as me…what what is this…why is my name here…Morayo what is this rubbish?
Just then Jide walks in, handsome as ever.Looking better than he has ever looked.

“What …are you doing here? Morayo who let him in.

He got down on one knee “Shola akinwunmi will you marry me?”
Shola didn’t know what to do.
What is this? Are you mad? What are you doing here?

Just then Morayo burst out laughing…

“Shola you just got punked” Morayo said

“She leapt at jide and started hitting him…I hate u! I hate u! you mean this wa sall a joke..that you put me through all this a some prank….then she burst out laughing….and proceeded to chase Morayo around the room.

“Is that a yes” Jide asked.

“I will die ! I will kill myself I will jump over third mainland bridge, oh jide! ”Morayo joked as she ran around the room.

“You see I knew you’d check my cards that day being the amebo that you are and you’d see the ring…and I called Morayo and we suggested we play a prank on you.You know who I was talking to on the phone all through yesterday?

“Morayo” answered shola.

“Yeah! Morayo I was keeping her posted…I wanted to laugh but I just didn’t want to mess up the whole thing.

“I hate you!” she said referring to Morayo

“ But i love you Mrs shola akintunde” replied morayo

“You are going to pay for this jide, I thought it was all real when I saw the invitation card I was ready to come and dabaru that wedding ehn.
“I trust you my lil agbero…

“But why have you made the invitations already”

“ I just got a friend to make a sample, it was all to make the prank believable..but do you like it?

“Yeah! Its just perfect”

“Then we’ll use it then. I am sorry I put you through this but it was all just for fun.

“I love you, and I want to marry you” Jide finished

“And so do I”

“I think I am going to be sick, this is too much mushiness for me to take in one day” Morayo said.

“But the both of you know I’ll be planning my revenge”

“You wouldn’t dare”
“You just wait and see” Shola said.
“Touche” jide said
“Bring it on girlie” Morayo finished.
‘I love you both” Shola said as she hugged both morayo and jide.

25 comments:

fifi said...

lol!!!! this is fab!! luv it luv it!!! great story, written well!!!

fifi said...

oh yeah and i was first!!! hehe

יושה (Yosh) said...

awesome...great hints, btw! :)

*gets down on one knee...* Would u forgive me?

Meanwyl *clears throat*, she's no broad, and u didn't have to say that in, *ahem*, the other comment box!

Let's just hold hands and sing "Kumbaya"... :)

Anonymous said...

aww this is such a wonderful story, i was already abusing the silly man that will break up with a gal like that. men big ups 2 u gal very well written and engaging.

catwalq said...

omo men, nobody better try that with me.
We really need to put up memos about what is acceptable as a prank to play. I mean, you try that with me Catwalq; you just might get a bullet or a stab wound before we get to the Punked part and then u will now be vexed but i did not send you message to be punking about.

Nigerican said...

wow, for a minut i thot she wud see the ring on her roommates hand or somthing lol that's just me , i love drama.That was fucked up tho, poor babe. Happy for her at the end. Great suspense.

Anonymous said...

oooh shit....thats d biggest prank ever...Even Ashton Kutcher can't beat this one...chai....omo men...i was transfixed oh...i was already shepeing for d Jide guy sef...lol...btw, its Prince Olu...someone keeps fucking with my blogger id and blog itself...deleting it and all but i go come back sha...no shaking...lol

Calabar Gal said...

A happy ending - YEAH!! I was getting pretty worried myself especially when the invitation card appeared. Alls well that ends well. (smile)

Rayo said...

What a cute story...I'm fapping it.

Simply Gorgeous said...

To be honest with you, I thought he was getting married to morayo.I think I have been watching too many Naija movies.

36 INCHES OF BROWN LEGS said...

ha!! that was kinda somehow o!!!1 i dont like such pranks abeg!! what if she had donesomething to the guy sef??? but for a sec i thought maybe d ring was for morayo her roomate? that would hav been something else o!!!

Omosewa said...

Hehehehe very nice. I was thinking "is he serious, is he seriously serious", lol. Did this actually happen. Btw i love your blog, you're so very funny, your cousin's sleeptalking cracked me up:D

Have a great week.

exschoolnerd said...

@ all..thanx for reading jare.appreciate it..i was thinking of the whole morayo spin..morayo being the girl he's been seeing but i just thought it'd be too cliche...and i guess i was right.

chicala said...

lol @“I will die ! I will kill myself I will jump over third mainland bridge, oh jide". i thot it was 2much drama for the poor girl sha.
i was even highly vexed at the guy at 1st and then the story changed, so i liked the happy ending.
that was a good one!

Ugo Daniels said...

Too long, couldnt finish it but i hope it ended happily though!

azuka said...

Needs some revision, I think but the plot's superb!

monie said...

Omo, I don't know o... Thats a HUGE (almost cruel) joke to play on someone... regardless of motive(s)...

omohemi Benson said...

awwwwh.
This is a good, good story.
You got my mind thinking about so many things.
Well done! er.. did it really happen?

Bella Naija said...

WOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW
This babe!
That had me captivated from beginning to end!
I was already raining curses on the dude....as in how DARE he???
Ah ah.....
u have TALENT!
I'm glad u r now on blogger....

exschoolnerd said...

@azuka.i just knew ud say something...thnx anyways..
@ugo...u shud hv red it..ud like it.
@monie...yeah very cruel
@omohemi...no o it didnt happen...
@bella...aww thnx alot for stopping by...ur words are highly appreciated.And to everyone who left a comment..thnx

genius4life said...

hmmmm nice piece.u sure got me glued to d story,
but dat was a very cruel way of proposing ooo

dolly said...

It’s easy ode, just get down on your knees and say “Sholly baby will you do me the honour of being my wife.......lol


wonderful story

exschoolnerd said...

thnx dolly, much appreciated.

Anonymous said...

horrible thing to do to a girl, i would extend our engagement cos my heart just cant take that.

Teediva said...

yeah realy cool story. needs some editing though(i can help wink wink). good thing u avoided the cliche ending n brought a new twist to a familiar plot. u cld get it published if it's original, in a popular teen mag, holla at me if u want to. u make me want to post some of my own shortstories, but they're so long...lol.