Tuesday, 31 July 2007

Random yarns!

Hey yall how was ur week? so em anybody who knows how to cook a mean jollof rice should holler at me with the way to go about it..What ingredients u put and all.Its not like i dont cook good jollof rice, okay i admit i have these flukes at times. Sometimes my jollof rice would be so friggin good and the next week its so horrible.And my brothers have started making fun of me, that maybe ive got some 'ratatouille' hidden somewhere in the kitchen who cooks the tasty jollof rice and am the one doing the crappy one.

For those of u who havnt the slightest idea what a "ratatouiolle" is9Hey yall anybody who knows how to cook a mean jollof rice should holler at me with the way to go about it..What ingredients u put and all.Its not like i dont cook good jollof rice, okay i admit i have these flukes at times. Sometimes my jollof rice would be so friggin good and the next week its so horrible.And my brothers have started making fun of me, that maybe ive got some 'ratatouille' hidden somewhere in the kitchen who cooks the tasty jollof rice and am the one doing the crappy one.

For those of u who havnt the slightest idea what a "ratatouille" is....its a new animated movie about a chef who can't cook to save his life, but finds out that this rat can..yes u are not reading things..a firggin cute rat...and enlists the help of the rat to cook for him and he takes the credit...the movie has made over a 100million i think.So yeah the ratatouille jokes are getting annoying...infact i wish i had a ratatouille sef...so anybody who knows how to cook that kind of jollof rice u usually eat at owambe parties and all..."party jollof rice" that as u dey chop...u go dey sweat....rice go pour for all ur body..that kind of rice..holla at me.Thanx in advance.

So i think this semester i have the craziest set of lecturers...i mean...some are funny...some just have a huge bug up their ass..some are so so boring...and some are just straight up insane.Like this one i had yesterday...this woman would probably be in her mid forties...she was dictating a note and someone was like 'ma can u come again'..and she was like 'My husband is not here,why would i cum again'....i mean everybody didnt get at first cause u would never expect ur lecturer to be talking dirty and all..and when it clicked people were like shocked and all...i was like ew ew ew too much friggin information crazy woman.

I think a scorpion crawled up my course adviser's arse...the poor thing..am more scared for the scorpion that her actually...she's such a meanie.I mean if ur husband refused to give u money for soup....or boxed ur head in the night before..take it out on him...dont come over and start acting like cruella deville to students who u are supposed to help and all.

i have gone and done it...i bought a bloody low-waist jeans even if i dont have the yansh to sustain it...believe me it was by mistake..i didnt know it was low waisted till i found out i was pulling the damn thing up every five minutes..i mean i can sit still evey five minutes am scared that my crack is all out in the open...i dont need that kind of stress..i dont like it..but i cant return it...i dont have thongs so my grandma panties be spilling out...what kind of mistake did i go and make....i mean i tried on the bloody jeans..i loved the fit..but i didnt know it was low waisted...i shudder at the thought of exposing my crack.argggggggh!! now i have to wear long tees...and they r bloody good jeans that dont need covering up.

Oh yeah and finally last week i mistakenly went to pee in the boys toilet...not my fault o...they wasnt any sign on the door that it was a male toilet plus when i entered i saw a woman inside...she just pee-ed.Am not bloody psychic...so i entered and went inside one of the stalls to pee...while i enjoyed the toilet door literature...people are silly "I dont have money, or a car am not fine but i can kpansh real good...call this number...confidentiality assured"....anyways usually id come out before i like zip up and belt up but this day i guess God didnt want some pervert to see my vjayjay so i dressed properly in the stall...when i came out i saw two guys peeing...damn! i was so so embarassed..one of them looked at me like..what the fuck is she doing here...a cleaner entered and she was like "better leave here dont u know its a boys toilet" to which i replied "how the hell am i supposed to know,there wasnt a friggin sign on the door" and she was like maybe we'll start putting signs....oh it didnt occur to ur silly asses to put up a sign before....idiyoot!...more boys entered and gave me the same look i felt so embarassed...but how embarassed would i have been if i came out with my jeans undone...

hmmm!!!!

19 comments:

the genius within said...

always try to keep my word..yeah whatever...back in school already...actually thought ur lecturer was keeping it real..too many r uptight nowadays...see yah...in blogland ofcourse!!

PS: i can hardly read the letters in this ur word verificatn thingy o...lol

wavemasta said...

Omo take am easy oh, some kind wicked guys no go allow you go free like that inside a male bathroom.
Anyways sha, ur lecturer was yarning the koko.....lol

Ugo Daniels said...

Eeya, sorry about ur jeans ;) And you're darn lucky those dudes aint pervets or the cleaner didnt enter when she did.

They for do a number or two on you..hehehe

Anonymous said...

well u were lucky u just got those nasty looks u know,culd ve been worse...lol.n true ur lecturer was yarnin d koko. i think i can teach u how tomake a mean jollofrice,as for d party ones d secret is d firewood they use.trust me it give dat special taste

Anonymous said...

well u were lucky u just got those nasty looks u know,culd ve been worse...lol.n true ur lecturer was yarnin d koko. i think i can teach u how tomake a mean jollofrice,as for d party ones d secret is d firewood they use.trust me it gives dat special taste

exschoolnerd said...

@anonymous...could u please leavea comment with like how to cook the jollof rice..id appreciate it.ingredients and all.

Fo said...

i dnt cook often coz it comes with ma mood,if am not in the mood,it wont be nice,visa visa....but i guess i can help u with some ingredients....i think u knw the basics,so add vegs (they come in handy)like chopped carrots(not too much and not big cuts)peas,or slightly cooked potatoes,dry fish with few drops of plam oil(not too much),nd stock always makes any food taste better.U can pick which u want nd in wht oder,nd maybe leave the rest for next time.coz if u jam them all 2gthr,i dnt think it will look that attractive.but i dnt knw really,just be creative!!

ur lecturer self,som old ppl think if they talk like kids,they wld fit in or smtin(who knws why else they talk dirty?)...

knw wht?just keep ur jeans nd wear long shirts over it!!
xoxo

princesa said...

Haa!!Laide u no sabi cook jellof rice?!?!
No chopping of Jellof rice for you till u learn how to cook it o!
Send me ur e-mail addy so i can give you a recipe.
Pity about the low-waist jeans.
U just got to wear those dress tops with it. Thank God they are in vogue now.

psykotikdiva said...

kspi cook a mean jollof rice,not trying to toot my horn or anything, i'm like the resident cook when any of my friends is having a party.i'll send you the recipe

Omotayo said...

E no 2 bad now......even if U come out semi naked, e for no 2 bad....will probabaly win U some more fans...........U go tell me no be those kind fans U dey find abi? But peep dis, how U go look man wey U find inside woman loo...am sure U won't ever take d explanation it was an innocent mistake....U rock as usual

Pink-satin said...

lol u use boy toilet..ha!ha!
I dont have money, or a car am not fine but i can kpansh real good-tew funny

30+ said...

So you have a name for "it" Vjayjay lol oga o eyin folks yi are something else

OmoIbadan said...

nice blog!

catwalq said...

u are always on another level with this ur school life.
how does scorpion crawl up someone's yansh. ehn?
i have used the men's bathroom before (knowlingly). I only pretended that I didn't cos the ladies was full and the line was like what men. That's when I envy men. U stand, discharge and exit. WE , we have to position, lower, discarge with care, wipe, exit, wash our hands, apply hand lotion, fix our hair....

catwalq said...

oh and about the jollof rice. One way to achieve the owambe taste is to cover the pot with foil paper and let the steam cook the rice soft. U can do this on the stove or place the pot in the oven (provided it is oven friendly. If u melt ur mama pot, no be me send u o)

Also, instead of parboiling the rice, once you wash it, u put it straight into the sauce and add as much properly seasoned chicken stock as possible. That is, instead of water, the stock is the liquid that brings it all to a boil and softens the rice.

You should always season your chicken with garlic and green peppers. Tushes up the taste.
Also, everything is give and take. Sometimes, things are successful

LurLar said...

lmaooooooo...... abeg me sef dey look 4 correct owambe recipe for jollof rice, sometimes i cook it,nd i feel like a pro. Once evey1 gathers around me to see my mistake, den i give dem wat dey want nd make a mistake. My fried rice is unbeatable sha.

Anonymous said...

This recipe makes enough j.rice for about 3/4 people, depending on how long your throat is. You can increase/decrease the amount of ingredients depending on how much food you need. Keep in mind that this recipe is for a spicy j.rice. Here we go:

1. Take 4 medium tomatoes (tennis-ball size), 2 hot peppers, 1/4 red sweet pepper and half a medium onion.

2. Place in blender with plenty of water.

3. Blend ingredients but not too finely. Leave it a little coarse.

4. Place in a pot, add a little water, add 2 small cubes of Maggi + salt. Add a little vegetable or sunflower oil and bring to the boil.

5. Add a pinch or two of powdered crayfish (those tiny crayfish, not the big ones) and a tiny bit of tomato puree (I don't always do this).

6. After mixture has been boiling for about 3-5 minutes, add pre-washed rice but make sure you leave about 2cm of water covering the surface.

7. Cover and turn heat down to lowest setting. Stir rice occasionally. Add chopped onions when rice is almost done.

8. Once rice is cooked, turn heat up to highest setting so that the rice at the base of the pot can burn. This gives the rice that smoky taste you get in party rice. You need to let it do this for at least 2 minutes, sometimes I cover the pot.

9. Taste rice, serve and enjoy with fried spiced fish i.e Hake or chicken or Goat or Horse...you get the picture.

Let me know what you think.

exschoolnerd said...

hey yall thnx fr the recipe's appreciate em.

bighead said...

Have you ever burnt food with instructions like Indomie? Well, I have.

Your lecturer no try o! what school do you attend again?

About the jeans, folks are doing butt enlargement these days, have u considered that? they'll take stuff from your stomach (or alamieyeseigha's if you don't have enough) and add to your butt.

Believe me those guys in the toilet were scoping you not wishing you'd leave. I used to stay in the hostel and I know how excited we got when girls came around, imagine the scene when any entered our bathroom...