Monday, 16 July 2007

Thoughts in my head during a lecture.

Oh boy! I need to find a place to sit before this place gets filled up

Oh yeah two free seats, ill keep one for yinka and another one just incase.
Hmm…the hall is slowly filling up.

That has got to be the lecturer….what’s she ranting about now.

"Anyone who doesn’t have a course outline should leave the hall now or either go and get one"

What is this woman’s problem?

She reminds me of my mum, she even looks like mum, that’s true mum used to be a teacher…hmmm I wouldn’t want to be in that class.

I remember when I went to see her in her school and three girls nearly beat me. cunts!
Okay! Okay! Am going to make a photocopy already.

oh yeah there’s yinka..yeah sit here I saved it for u.
Arrgh!!! I can’t hear the lecturer, the microphone doesn’t bloody help maybe they should get a friggin public address system.

Hmmm!!! My nails look horrible!

I should really be paying attention to what she’s ranting about something about the educational structure…yadi yadi ya..

Ouch! Something just bit my ass…its itching badly now…maybe I can just lean and lift one butt cheek up and give it a little scratch…no on second thoughts…people cud think i want to fart…my actions could be misconstrued. And there is a sea of people behind me, one unidentifiable smell and am the culprit…no siree!

Oh my I haven’t been listening, what is wrong with me? Pay attention!

Nasty crack alert! Nasty crack alert!....ewww!!! which kain colour riot yansh be this…some brown patches mixed with black and a whole lot of stretch marks.

There goes my hunger for lunch now.

She’s pulling up her jeans to hide her thong…we don see am finish.Sadly!
Oh she just saw me staring at her ass and I think she gave me the eye.
Did I beg u to wear low waist jeans..instead of u to apologize to me for assaulting my eyes and the nightmares I am going to have for the next 3weeks u dare roll ur eyes at me. bish.Face ur front jare,before I put this my umbrella inside ur eye.
Ehen lecturer jare wetin u dey talk….oh my she’s asking questions now…why wasn’t I listening.

There’s nothing worse than standing up and not having anything to say, id look like a complete olodo…not that am not one but does everybody need to know.

Okay calm down..dont avoid her gaze cause then she’ll know you don’t want to get called and don’t stare too intently cause she’ll take it that u want to be called…what do I do shes coming closer…start coughing!

*coughs crazily for like two minutes and everybody around starts saying sorry even the lecturer*

Young lady! Sorry are u alright?

Nod ode…put ur hand on ur chest too…give her the ‘am weak look’..make it look dramatic..cough some more. stand up and go out.

‘Sorry oh’

Who are idiots laughing.

‘Okay the sister next to her answer the question’

I am smiling inside…I really should be listening. Or else next time I’ll have to have a heart attack to evade her questions.

Cough some more….yeah! then take a sit.

Am a devil.

Hmm who’s the currie…oh no! That’s just his good side. What a pity!

Laide! Pay attention and stop looking at cute boys and checking out girls asses.

Id pay attention if she’d friggin speak up I can’t hear a word of what she’s ranting about.

Oh some ova sabi just got up to answer a question, don’t u just hate them.Its okay siddown jare..elenu boku i learnt that today,still reeling from laughter at it..(.public transport lingo...)

I have this insane urge to fart right now. But the devil is a liar. This fart will remain till am within the confines of my bedroom.. yeye alokoba oshi of a mess.

I am so going to fail this course…oh my I shouldn’t pronounce bad things for my self.I reject that in Jesus name.Lol even jesus knows I am going to fail.What is wrong with me.

Butt crack alert again!

I am tired of this muda fucking butt cracks in this muda fucking class!

This one belongs to lepa skinny in the front row…ehn..scandalous…but why? Why dress like this to class? I mean this is school? Not the set of "flavour flav" …hmm before they call me amebo. Make I carry my eye comot before I see the one wey go give me apolo.

I am really not here for this lecture sha.

Another cutie…fine from both sides….oh my naija boys are cute sha..Well some. He is coming here…hmmm…my free seat let me remove my bag so he can seat..chei see as my heart dey skip like bad vcd.

Over here! Come and sit here mumu..see free sit..…oh no he walked past…to the front to sit with butt crack lepa skinny..darn!

Maybe I should buy a low waist jeans…lol…yeah right..that’ll be the day..low waist ko..high hip ni…seriously there are some things I cannot be bothered about. Like dem damn thongs…that chick almost made it seem like I commited a crime cause I said I dnt wear thongs.

talking about thongs i think i have a frapas.

i loved departed though i thought the ending wasd quite sad,the way dicaprio was killed..tragic!

i am so unhappy!

Hmm that girl kinda looks like a suffering Kerry washington.She is so hot! she is so hot!....kerry that is..i have a girl crush on her.

Let me listen to this lecturer....

"Buy this textbook,its written by me and will help you alot its just N500

Her mouth like just 500,like 500 bucks cant do me good else where.Its enough for like 5hours or four of browsing and some credit.I have to cough it up for a textbook now.

I am so unserious.

I wonder what ayo’s doing with his big head.

I miss him…moving on now.

Assignment…abi what is this woman talking about?
Darn I didn’t get the question, why am I so unserious..why cant I just pay attention why does my mind always have to….


whats the name of this course again?




Anu boy said...

oh my... olodo rapata, oju eja lo ma je....

kingsiju said...

really freaky. i think we've all bn there and i think why we are seen to still be sane is that we keep them in there unlike raving mad men.

Nigerican said...

LMAO, all that thru one lecture. Men i thot i was bad , i feel better now. Oh btw sorry bout all that Crack.

sugarlomps said...

well i tot i was the only one laide you win hands down. jus three butt sracks guess the girls in your class are few.

azuka said...

Ha ha! Good one.

Ugo Daniels said...

The name of the course is freaky-and-high-on-crack-mind 101...LOL!

REDRIBS said...

so na wetin u dey do for class be that Loide? I'll tell ur daddy for you.

Mr.Fineboy said...

ESN, ur nuts! Bloody hilarious..LOL...berra not fail o! Oh..and I have the biggest crush on Kerry Washington as well...
ESN where have u been now? I've missed u o.

exschoolnerd said...

@anu...gerrooout! as olodo-ish as i may be i am still smarter than ur ass.

@kingsiju...true that!

@nigerica...abi o! was even more than that..i just got tired of writing it down. were more than three..i am so sure of that..i was sitting in the front so i cudnt scope all the cracks.thankfully! small rat how u dey? e don tey wey u reach here. u dont do worse.

@fineboy..i dey jare..thnx for coming around.been missing u in these parts(my blog that is)

יש (Yosh) said...

lmao! "frapas"...Nothing like some good thong distractions...ANYWHERE!!!


lo. this girl u don kolo o!!! make ur papa catch u na wetin dem send u go school go do be dat??? ur heart come dey jump like 'bad vcd' upon seeing fine bobo wey come jabo u for lepa shandy. u r bloody hillarious!!!

BTW: which one be this wey u dey miss fine boy for 'the parts' confess now o!!!

princess said...

LMAO! Tew Tew funny! E be like say u go change course o! Distractions too much for dat class.
Seriously now,girl u gat to pay more attention in class. I no get money to contribute for extra year.
Hit up my blog. I need some ideas on a new name.

Anonymous said...

tanx for stopping by!
too funny jare!

AIVY said...

omo, u try oh. all this in your head, u must have a big

love your blog

Miss Opeke said...

I cracked up wey u talked abt d fart thingy...dont u juz hate it wey it has to cum at a time wey u r tryin' to maintain...first time here and loving it...

catwalq said...

all the money that baba exschool nerd is spending?

Fo said...

so funny....dnt worry happens to us all!!!

Andy said...

The main question......Hope you pass the exams at the end of the session? That is the most important thing!!!

Omosewa said...

Lmao!!! Issues!

exschoolnerd said...

@yosh...ud like that wudnt u. mind is so so drty ehn...make i dhl omo for u make u take wash am. the Grace of God carry-over will nt be my portion..let them girls just hide there bloody butt cracks. pleasure sweets and remember it will be well. say i do sha..thnx for stopping by.

@miss opeke.abi oh u know d thing...thnx for stopping by...appreciate come back. not in vain.

@fatima..i guess so.

@andy...By the grace of God i will..i just went to get her textbook...

@omosewa...abi oh.

diary of a G said...

like ur new pic---owwwwww


r u sure u went to that class to learn?

doubt it though

too many thoughts for one lecture

i hope u pass it oo

Arthur Yaoundé Cameroon said...

C'est bien de faire des expériences. celà arrive à tout le monde. Prends soin de toi, et sois courageuse! Have you ever been here in cameroon. what do you do in life! you're very beautiful on that phot, c'est moi! i hope you speak french. write to me . this is my email.

exschoolnerd said...

@diary of a g...thanx sweets

@Ibo dude..I will in Jesus name..just bought the text book sef. ive neva bn to cameroon.and i dnt speak frensh..sadly!

Idemili said...

Hehehehe! Funny!!!

cinnamonqueen said...

got here through diary of a g... girl, you're wickedly funny! this is hilarious.

Manda said...

Hilarious! U siddon front seat and still no hear anything? the lady must be boring then, abi na u carry plenty for mind! Thank God u bought the text book o, berra go do ur assignment!

exschoolnerd said...

@cinnamon...thnx sweets.

@manda...yes am on it right now.

psykotikdiva said...

Ex do your parents know this is what they are paying your fees for,hmmmm, i will come and report, just found out we have a mutual friend in lag.

Izz said...

Just discovered our blog and am loving it. Will be coming back for more.

A Kel called Wonder ...... said...

lo veri funi

Fo said...

loving ur new blog look...keep it real girl...

psykotikdiva said...

i replied ur comment on my blog.

BiMbyLaDs** said...


LurLar said...

Lmaooooo.....thnk God am not the only that has crazy thoughts during lectures.

Anonymous said...

I'm laughing so hard right now, I'm sure my neighbours think I'm going mad. Your blog ALWAYS has this effect on me. Is there an antidote to laughter? If so I need it please.

Even when I'm sitting on the bus or train innocently on my way home and I think of something you wrote, that's how I'll just start cracking up like someone they just released from one institute for the mentally deranged.

Anyway, I can't remember how many times I've been in class fantasising about boys (or girls even), wondering if the teacher and her husband still have sex, wondering what the lecturer looks like naked...but there's hope for you my dear. A real olodo rabata like me just graduated so if an airhead like me can do it, so can you!

exschoolnerd said... comment cracked me up...imagining the lecturer

congrats on just graduating.

Anonymous said...

Thanks o jare my dear.

Atutupoyoyo said...

This was brilliant and probably mirrors the stream of consciousness of every student at one point or the other. You just end up doing everything but paying attention.

Well done

exschoolnerd said... @ the name...thanx for stopping by n making me feel betta bout my come back.