Wednesday, 11 July 2007

Vacancy!!!!!

CUDDLE BUDDY WANTED






The job among others will include...cuddlin(duh!),spooning,massaging,hugging and the occasional kiss.This however doesnt mean we are a couple.

The suitable candidate must possess at least 5years experience in cuddling with ability to adapt to new techniques.

Applicant must be prepared to work extra hours and willing to do shifts.

The right candidate must posses WASC,OND or HND.And must have a good command of the english language as he could be called on during sessions to join in a conversation and failure to be able to express himself properly and improper use of tenses will result in immediate dismissal.

Ability to speak spanish and french and some waffi a plus.

Candidate must not be more than 26years and not younger than 21.E ma di mi si paedophile.

Candidate must smell frigging good and look okay.Not looking for friggin brad pitt neither do i want some flavour flav lookalike all up in my goodies.

Candidate must have ability to develop new and exciting techniques in cuddling.

Must have creative and adaptive skills.

Must posses strong manly hands..that can get the work done effectively.

Must be energetic and imaginative as he/she can be called on to work for 10hours straight.

Must have tons of self-confidence...

Must be willing to comply stritcly with the terms and conditions of the business...meaning no sex and unauthorized acessing of 'v-jayjay' or 'breast' area would result in a kick to the groin.Real friggin hard!The kind that could actually do some damage to watever lies in between.


Interested applicants should leave a comment..Open to both males and females.

28 comments:

Ugo Daniels said...

Where are the interested applicants now. Ok, i know why they're not yet leaving comments.

You mentioned that under no condition must the sacred areas be trespassed. Hellooooooooooo. What you need is a cuddling machine, not a human being, let alone a fully fledged man with blood running thru his veins :)

Try and make it more flexible, like 'If 'anything' should happen, it'll be at the discretion of the receiver and not the applicant'

lmao!

Anu boy said...

LOL.... okay, well na you know how far.... see this babe... cuddle ko touching ni.... no go find ur roots.. olodo

LurLar said...

lol

Pink-satin said...

get out of here...........LAWL LAWL

exschoolnerd said...

@ugo daniels...lol @ cudddling machine...no o i want a human being.

@anu...gerraway u! this ad was not meant for ur kind.


@lurlar and pink-satin....do u have cuddle buddies? doesnt have to be a boy cud be a teddy or sumthing.

Shola said...

teddy bear dey massage ?

anyways , im down for it.. at least most job offers come with promotion over time, we never can tell where i will be promoted to

Anonymous said...

I applied for this job long before you advertised it.

Guess i was never tot about.

Still open for the job though....

Gabriel

JJ said...

LAWL!!! Very funny! But erm..are you sure you sef won't pass that cuddling stage cos it does become boring u know? A lil extra action would nt hurt yea?
No mind me o...goodluck with your search!

bllk wolf said...

TEMPTING!!!
just wondering why u didnt give the dude who sang.....
(scratches head...whats the song again)?
(yes)...AFRICAN QUEEN...the offer?
i'm certain he would have GLADLY accepted your offer..
still wondering though,if the PORTFOLIO is still up for grabs!
(screams out loud)
"Ladies give me a tip or two"
should i "dress" this up in a BROWN ENVELOPE(making it official) or just send a a bunch of ewedu leaves...
(smiles)(winks)..

NB
====
Laide i dey mend ooh!!!
anyways since u've refused to do a lil bit of publicity for me ,
i've decided to FIRE u without warning........
UR FIRED(imitates Donald Trump).

JOB VACANCY
MR WOLF(the employer)
NEEDS a publicist(the employee) URGENTLY.
DETAILS OF EMPLOYMENT WILL BE SPELT OUT CLEARLY ON MY BLOG..
http://lightfrommyeyes.blogspot.com
WITH EFFECT FROM TOMMOROW.

catwalq said...

u need WASC to cuddle?

Teediva said...

cuddle buddy ko...i cant believe u are interested in female cuddle buddies, with all the kissing and stuff that will be needed for the job...just wondering...might be good if we had remote controls for guys u know. make then sit and stand, kiss or sleep, turn off the snoring, mute the volume when they talk sports....wld be really cool!!!

The Last King Of Scotland said...

nice pic by the way

chicala said...

hehehe, see the rules, lol. Good luck with ur search o, hope u find that perfect cuddler that would abide by the rules(if its a guy, lol). I suggest u get a teddy( a big, soft and comfy one).......but i dont think it would help much sha cos it wont be able to speak spanish and waffi nor will it be able to do half of the things u want o, so i'll just sharap my mouth here, lol.

LurLar said...

no oh.......i cuddle wif my bf only.

REDRIBS said...

good luck Ex! I wonder what the specs of ur kind of a real boyfriend will now be. May God help u. I like the comments everyone has put here, really humorous!lol

Chude! said...

young woman, where is the tag you said would shock me?!?!!!

The experiences of an achiever....... said...

eyah.. don't mind them jare laide..u'll find all u want! and Shola is so smart..he'll wait for a promotion! lol!

wavemasta said...

Im still wondering if I should apply for the job......

Nyemoni said...

Hmmmmmmmm....

ibiluv said...

be careful what u wish for

Obinwanne said...

lol

Fatima said...

sori already employed...with a satisfyn payment..good luck though...
xoxo

Anonymous said...

The ad said nothing about pay, training and other benefits...

Kaydee said...

All that one na small thang!How much U go pay?

In my head and around me said...

I really should do something like this for myself.

lisa said...

u dis girl sef, u no go kill person!

psykotikdiva said...

Ex, when u find this person please tell me where he or she came from so i could go get me some,lol

Anonymous said...

''Candidate must have ability to develop new and exciting techniques in cuddling.''

I think you need help. I know a good Psychiatrist, let me know when you are ready.