I set my phone alarm the night before for 4:30 then I realize I am just fooling myself and move it to 5:00,I shift it to 5:30 then finally settle for 6:00…telling myself I can have my bath, brush my teeth, do my hair, get my things ready for school in 30minutes and be out of the house by 6:30…knowing fully well I cant. But my sleep time is very precious…school can go to places.
My alarm goes off its 6:00…Already! I can swear it was only 30minutes I put my head down..my …Lil mama’s “Lipgloss” is my alarm tone, I like the song but it sounds so annoying in the morning, if it weren’t my phone I’d hurl the damn thing against the wall..but common sense prevaisl and the fact that I’d be phoneless for a very long time scares me shitless.
Arrghhh..Lemme just sleep some more..just for like 3minutes…I wake up 45 minutes later..oh my lord…it’s a dash to the bathroom..i remember the taps busted so I have to go and fetch water downstairs and boil some hot water, while the water’s boiling I flick through channels to while away time…my top choices are always the music channels, my brother is sleeping on the sofa…cant remember when last he slept in a bed. Weird weird human being. It runs in the family.
Minutes later water the is boiled, I rush upstairs and have my bath under 7minutes( when u’ve been thrown out of the toilet more times than one in boarding house, u master the skills of bathing properly under five minutes)
Choosing what pant to wear is usually a task, I haven’t the slightest idea why but it takes more time than anything else. Finally I decide on a hybrid of grandma panties and a thong. I swear its my OCD..
Hair (check), clothes (check) bag (check) bag contents (check) pant (check) shoe (check) lipgloss(check check check) more lipgloss(check) money(check)
I know am forgetting something, but I can’t seem to remember. What am I forgetting..what is it that I carry everyday that I do not have with me now..i rack my tired brain..what what! Oh yeah books…
The only thing I have for breakfast is Macleans.
Its 7:30 now, I take my last pee, rush downstairs ,wake up my bro to come lock the door and hurry out of the house. Out of the estate, I walk to the bustop, I don’t take bikes, so I take on of those napep thingies to another bustop. And wait for a bus to school.
Bus after bus to my destination pass me by, but my favourite seat is always occupied in them. Plus its either I don’t like the interior, the driver has a funny look, the passengers look suspicious but the biggest turn off is the market women who if possible will put there wares on ur head without caring. It’s always one thing or the other. I remind myself I have a class…I finally find a bus that the voice in my head agrees with and I enter…almost somersaulting and landing in the lap of the nearest person because the driver lacks the patience to stop for 2minutes for me to enter…Some other days its worse…my cloth gets torn by some silly nail and all I get are reluctant sorrys ..most times its a favourite piece of clothing of mine…
I mutter a curse under my breath
On very rare occasions…when the gods find favour with me. I get a front seat .I sing HALLELUYAH HALLELUYAH HALLE-LU-YAH under my breath.
In life there are certain things that are always constant…Ayodeji calling by 8:30am, Rain, tax, corrupt naija politicians, death, birth and hold-up on that bloody Ikorodu road.
I busy my eyes with the variety of activities that take place while am stuck in the hold-up Agbero boxing is a personal favourite ,skills in road crossing, bus jumping competitions, who can hit that okada first, go-slow vendor race, how fast can I escape that kai official…and many more.
Its 8:20 now, I bring out my ear piece to listen to the radio on my phone, am I the only one who thinks they don’t play enough songs on the radio..just way too much yakking about nothing exactly. Once in a blue moon they play something that I actually like maybe “Ironic” by Alanis morisette and it seems like the one good thing that has happened today.
Oh yeah its 8:30 and ayodeji calls...another good thing today.
The only good thing about danfo’s is that, they are able to take illegal short cuts no other sane person would dare to, to avoid the hold up .And so I stare at all the people in their cars as we leave them in the hold up and laugh thinking “don’t u just wish u were me right now, sucks to be u huh…bye bye”
Finally we get to my destination, most times we don’t. Depending on how loose the nuts in the danfo drivers heads are, most times..the nuts have long fallen off.. they disband us a few metres from our destination with some change to fend for ourselves. Very annoying!
I finally get to yaba to take the only buses that go to my school, of course am not the only person who has school to go to.oh no! We are a sizable number sadly!.Yeah quite evident by the scary line that has already been formed. I mean doesn’t anybody scale school anymore…i mean sheesh…
Its 9:30 now, to think I woke up by 6:00..ok 6:45…what’s the use if I still get to school late. Am in school now, I alight from the bus and rush to my lecture venue perspiring like a goat the day before Christmas. I check my watch 9:45 for an 8:00-10:00 class. I finally get to class and everyone’s chilling, lecturers no where to be found, to think I went through all that for the bloody lecturer to sit in his/her office and not come to class. Funny thing is the day i decide to scale class, they all come and even give a test… Life is a bitch I tell u.
I make small talk with one of two people whose names I can’t remember, I smile at a few lest I be labeled a snub (like I give a rats ass) but its all part of my “trying to be more social attempt”…I scope one or two boys, see a couple of friends, I scope some more boys, copy some notes, more boys scoping before I know it it’s evening and none of my classes held, am brimming with anger, cursing all and sundry knowing what I went through going to school, like the lecturer could give a damn. Going to school seems so futile.
I get home like past 6:00pm still haven’t eaten anything all day, no wonder am told I’ve lost weight. Unintentional dieting I call it, a dash of suffering and a huge spoonful of stress. I am greeted by a lackluster meal…but man must wack now? I gobble down something, watch some TV and almost immediately tired from the days activities I am off to dreamville. I wake up the next day and shudder at the thought of having to do the same thing all over again. But then it hits me.. It’s a Saturday…and I shout out the words-Thank God its Saturday! Its official Saturday is the new Friday.