Tuesday, 11 September 2007

LOOKU LOOKU!

To the left, to the right...he watched as her hips swayed, and her buttocks shook thunderously with every step she took.Eye popping, lip licking, palm rubbing, dirty thoughts inducing derriere. The kind sunny Nneji said would put you in trouble, that R.kelly proposed to, that bobby valentino was so mesmerized by he had to beg you to biko slow down lerrim examine it properly, that destinies child coined a word for, that caused k-show and 6-0 to ask “where u for get that yansh?”, and made D’banj comment “I like that overload”. Guy after guy stared at it with longing in their eyes, each one examining the rotundness of her behind and laughing joyful, while signaling to the next guy to feast his eyes.Omorege o! they eyes would say if they could speak.
But there was this one guy, his eyes were fixated, not once flinching he kept on staring as it rotated to the left, to the right, to the left, to the right, to the ye!!!! He missed a step..and fell into the gutter YAKATA!. He was lucky the gutter wasn’t a deep smelly maggot-infested one, displaced of his file, with papers flying over, he hurriedly gathered each one, amidst laughter and jeers from onlookers. Funny thing is the next day if an ass of such momentous proportions like the one that found him in the gutter happens to pass his way, he would still stare without any care.That is why he is a man, and men will always be men. With eyes like heat seeking missiles, but this time more like booty seeking.

No i wasn’t possessor of the ass that caused such pandemonium, if u see my own u go still stand GIDIGBA!, it hasn’t assumed that gutter-falling effect yet and the jury is still out on whether it ever will. But don’t worry after my Brazilian butt renovation, una go hear am. Dont worry it won’t cost anything near 628 Million. Even though the work that needs to be done deserves such gargantuan amount.Maybe ABC will give me my own show afterwards.Extreme makeover-yansh edition.Ill go to Catwalq's house and knock konkon kon...GOOD MORNING CATWALQ...she'll come out all groggy,yansh scratching.. you have been choosen for complete butt overhaul..ill tell her. and she'll somersault 3 times and proceed to tell me how long she has waited for me.But i digress!

back to men n their looku looku..

I have never understood why men ogle suggestive areas of women like it was there God given right to do so. Many a time I catch them in the act and I just chuckle, it’s almost as if as soon as some nice looking derriere catches their eye they fall into come trance. Who the ikebe belongs too, is the least likely question on their mind. It could be the just blossoming orange seller, or the student decked in her uniform or even the mother going about her business. They most definitely do not discriminate as long as she has attack and defence covered, men are ready to stare till thy kingdom come.

It doesn’t matter what she looks like, heck she could have the face of a Platypus (cross btw a duck and a rat)… na face dem won chop…mchew!!! E no go better for that face.All he has one his mind are those body parts we all know too well.

They stare so hard sometimes, you start to wonder whether they possess some sort of x-ray vision. And can see what lies beneath, G-string, lacy underwear, maybe grandma panties..or commando he’s probably thinking. Even better if he spots some cleavage, Oh gravy! Christmas has come early this year, and you know they can’t help it cause it’s not like they ever try to hide it once a girl passes as a man he must examine the booty. It’s like some reflex action or something.

Even the small ones have started committing crimes of lookery, I remember standing at one bustop and some little boys (yeah right with perverted minds) where behind me. And they started singing “big breast! Small yansh!...big breast small yansh”…ewo!.see my life! Is that what they sent these oniranu’s to school to learn? Luckily for me no one else was at the bustop, so I quickly carried myself from there before they embarrassed me. Silly dirty minded children.

Most men would probably deny being part of these group but come off it, you know you are guilty of committing a bit of lookery every now and then, sheesh am even being nice…every five minutes. The most annoying thing about it is when you are out with a guy or your boyfriend and he makes it a duty to examine every yansh and breast that happens to pass his front. Very very rude and oh so annoying, sometimes I just want to give them a back hand slap... gbess! and shout FACE FRONT! yes the female body structure is indeed a work of art, that many a man could admire for days on end and even I can appreciate the fact but most men tend to appreciate it a lil too much. Guys chill out on the lookery now will you, how would you like it if we stared at your trouser trying to have a glance of your pee pee every bloody second contemplating the length, breadth, circumference…not so nice is it?

38 comments:

ibiluv said...

I am female
but as a proud member of Nassatall
i am guilty of Lookulooku
*wink*
i just appreciate a nice ass when i see one
i believe i dont stare cos i have
never been caught......
LOL
i just look and wish......
YES I AM STRAIGHT
I PREFER MEN

exschoolnerd said...

lol...why did u have to point out u prefer men....i stay too oh..i wont lie...but not everytime.

exschoolnerd said...

oh yeah and i prefer men too.

bighead said...

me i stare too... sometimes... but at face only. did small children really sing for you at a bus stop? this world don spoil. their parents should be flogged

@ibiluv: abeg what is Nassatall

bighead said...

ah ah!? exschoolnerd! u too? what are u pple staring at? something you don't have?

exschoolnerd said...

@bighead..something we long for!!!

Naapali said...

Thanks for making me laugh. The deep throaty kind that warms the soul. "Big breast small yansh" chei. As my instructor in military school in days of old would say "lack of seven letters". That is clearly the problem with the bus stop chorale.

As to lookery, since fine sistas like yourselves will confess to looking what should men say. I will say we do not look because we want to. We look because we have a duty to. Yes, a duty to look. The survival of the species depends on us risking the ire of our mothers/wifes/girlfriends/sisters to look. The man that fell in the gutter proves it. He had a duty to look and he fulfilled his task at great risk to his person. We may try but deny our true selves at our own peril

bighead said...

@naapali: duty ke? abeg speak for yourself o!

Senator said...

Don't u think if the hes don't look at those dangglings the shes would probably go for plastic surgery for reduction saying it is not in fashson for the shes to parade them. It maybe becos of the hes lookery that makes the shes to go for inccreased cup size(lol).

if the shes often look, then expect the hes to always look ..lol

So leave hes alone, they are faithful in accomplishing their divine task

nice posting exskol'd

The Last King Of Scotland said...

very insightful yarns
im definitely an ASS man for real, used to be a titty man but ass is the ish, lol. i stare with style, not full frontal. nice post

Arewa said...

lol....i have been a victim especially with men staring @ my boobs ... one even had the guts ask me if they were real... u shld have seen the look i gave him..i think he got the message...I would have knocked him out with the same thing that he was asking abt(my weapons of mass distruction as my other half calls them...lol)

But u know that a womans body is a work of art especially for us black women.. i must confess that i do see some ladies with such huge butts that i just cant help but stare and wonder how the hell they are able to carry that around for life....Lord have mercy...lol

bayusch said...

hey!
First time commenting. Nice post as always.....
Am a bit dazed though by the phrase "I prefer men". Hmn! It seems more like someone's crossed the border once or twice........

Zephi said...

Mayne...I am a female....but I will look at girls asses till thy kingdom come...no shame in my game....me and my boyfriend will look together....
There is something fascinating about ass.....
Maybe If I look enough,Id get some.....lol...

My ting is you can look but dont act on it....

I stare but do it codedly, you wud not know I am looking.....Guys shud learn how to be tactful at his things and not make it so obvious...lol

oh and I am straight..

catwalq said...

Catwalq International Academie III is here!!!!!

Fatoumatta said...

lol...so ture...am sure all my ladies out there feel u on this one...it is annoying indeed when a guy checks another girl out when u right there,but honestly it comes to a point where u dont mind coz like they say,if u cant beat them join them....thats when u find u checking girls out urself...even thu its weird...like ma bf checks other girls out,nd at the same time checks me out too!!!with style...we walking,he falls back,i turn i see him smiling...lol....if only he tells me wht he's smiling bout...i gotta say we do like it (when its from the one we like it to come from)...not like those pervs kids u incntrd...tc girl

Aloofa said...

Exskoolnerd, have you considered publishing a book (if u havn't)

U write good. LOL.

Anu bBoy said...

Laide, u are guilty of looku looku, so sharrap ya mouth there... ajowan...

nadine said...

whattttttt?

azuka said...

Lookery isn't one of my sins at the moment.

Atutupoyoyo said...

LOL. This one na true talk o. The day we men stop looking is the day we die. Women look too, of course, but they have perfected the thing so well that they go look tire but you no go know say them dey look u. They also have better imaginations so sometimes even a glance can suffice.

You have already answered the looking question o my dear. The female body is simply a work of art. Then there is the added bonus that no two women have exactly the same shape and size of bodies. Therefore we cannot say once we have seen one we have seen them all. Forgive us for it is the ultimate compliment

Porter deHarqourt said...

a welldone post. an the topic is one of those really contentious ones between men and women.

hmm, i'm not sure men have a different reason for looking. but i think we are a lot more confident doing it.

afterall man need dey observant of the goings-on for im environment. i had this gf who was always expecting me to look, so she'd give me a pre-emptive pinch.

lol@ bayusch ''crossed the border''

nadine said...

helll no, who is impersonating moi?

princesa said...

Lookery...there shopuld be a fine for this in the crime book...seriously!

Afrobabe said...

I hope my ass someday gives that effect oh....would love to see them fall into gutters...

Naapali said...

There was this babe in the good ole days in Unilag. She was a Science Ed mjr and so would have classes down at the Education Faculty and then need to head back up on campus to Science Complex for other classes. She was beautiful. Skin like latte with a hint of mocha, hair like silk, voice like a soft note on a flute and an arse to kill for. On the days she walked (rarely as she had dozens of "boys" eager to have her behind bless their passenger seats) there would be traffic on campus. The line from the gate would stretch to Bariga and Abule Ijesha as mesmerized drivers would slow down to catch this work of beauty. As true connoiseurs know some arses are beautiful only at rest, others in motion, but only a small subset are beautiful at rest and in motion. Hers was poetry in motion, lines from Shakespeare (shall I compare the to a summer day, thou art more lovely and more temperate ...), Omar Khayyam (A jug of wine, a book of verse and thou..) , Byron (She walks in beauty like the night, of cloudless climes and starry skies...)would suddenly surface at the sight of this 8th wonder of the world. The crickets would stop their incessant chirping, the monkeys would stop their ceaseless jabbering atop the palms in the swamp, the groundsmen stop mowing grass, even the Eyin Adesola's would stop tripping students just to look.
Many years after, I still am grateful for having shared the same space as this beautiful woman, owner of an arse that made even Regina Askia look like the ugly stepsister in Disney's Cinderella. It is comforting to know that she is somewhere out there making the world a better place, one step at a time.

nadix said...

lol @ LOOKU LOOKU

Is def not me that wrote those comments above.

Atutupoyoyo said...

LOL @ naapali. That is worthy of it's own post. An ode to the yansh! Lovely

exschoolnerd said...

@ napaali..na wa o! na person yansh insight such post...that ass must have been a sight...if she can only pass some my way..just tintili..i will be very grateful.

Zahratique said...

I always love the stuff you write! You should get a column in a magazine!

Jaja said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Jaja said...

LOOKERY m.sc..
Its an art really... advance art

Of course one tries never to be rude.. But some kin' things you go jam eh...
You ll fall into a trance... your faith is thereafter re-affirmed on the Wondrous nature of the Manifold creative works of God.

kingsiju said...

OJO KO LE SE KO MA KI AREWA (eyes cannot but salute beauty)... an uncle used to say. so got any prob with eyes looking? nothing is beautiful if no one is looking!

And... dont try to say u dont look as well, especially at guys, abi i lie?

In case u are not looking yet, get pure water for your eyes and if it doesnt wwork, ask for HOLY WATER otherwise call me!

eddiie said...

OOOH!! I have probaly come late but i hope i havent missed alot....

This blog just looks fun.. i mean the owner which of course is you certainly know how to Beyoncy your words...

LOL..just hope to be dropping here so often...

spot you around babie,....

Obinwanne said...

looku-looku business.....guilty as charged....ne bo me sha.....but atimes

bighead said...

@naapali: all this poetry for one ...

UndaCovaSista said...

LMAO (no pun intended!) @ "...That is why he is a man, and men will always be men. With eyes like heat seeking missiles, but this time more like booty seeking...". Well said

Arewa said...

Oh girl wetin dey! I just updated my blog and deicated it u Re:Looku looku...HOpe all is well with u .x x x

Black Wasp said...

ROFLMBAO....

@Naapali, u sure got it going mehn..when some of us are getting revelations, u r busy getting bootylations...Gawd is gud!

@xskul'..u rock gurl..I'm guilty as charged..all those days of hanging out at 'Bamboo', enroute Science Fac beside Jaja hall, come to mind like it was just yesterday..

Seriously, you guys make us do the lookery...I had couple of gfriends that used to leave their rooms dressed 2 make such statements..

We make your days when we stare..tok true!

Beautiful blog 'nywayz