Tuesday, 27 November 2007

what would people say?

What would people say?

You have probably heard that countless of times, or you yourself have probably uttered those words. I know I have and slowly but surely the thoughts of ‘people’ especially those whose two cents shouldn’t matter to me…about my life and decisions I make in my life, has started to mean little to me.
I see it as ‘bondage’ living ur life based on ‘what people would say’…after all in the end you alone will be left to deal with the consequences of your decision not them..and haven’t you heard that people would talk regardless of what you do.
I have noticed that people fear so much the thoughts of people, and end up living unfulfilled lives, I used to be one of such people and with every decision I made I had the terrible creature called ‘people’ hovering around me.
On a particular show of New dawn with Funmi Iyanda, a woman sent in a letter saying that she wants to get married in her church but her proposed husband wants them to get married in his church but she doesn’t want to. She goes on to ask if she will be sent to hell fire if she marries someone who doesn’t attend her church and she is scared of what people would say, what the pastor would say, what her family would say, what her church members would say if she married someone who doesn’t attend her church.
What does she want in the first place? This is her life here, her pastor will not come and stay n her matrimonial home for her, she alone will have to deal with whoever she ends up marrying so why does everybody’s opinion about her future matter more than hers? If she eventually marries someone from her church and he ends up being a monster what then will she say?
Sometimes I get very angry with myself when am fretting about a decision because I am afraid of public opinion, I m afraid of man and what he thinks of me, man a mere mortal like myself, who can talk from dusk to dawn and not a hair on my body will be affected, but yet I give him so much power to be able to decide what I can and can’t do..just because I am scared of what he would say.
We sometimes fear man more than God, we never think what would God think about this decision I am about to make, what does the bible say..no its what would my neighbor think, what would my friends think, what would my pastor say...will he approve of this?

People are just human like u. u prick them they bleed, u slap them they hurt…

They can only talk…it’s our nature to always have something to say about everything and everybody’s life

So why live in the bondage of what people would say.

May God help us to free ourselves from the bondage and hold of what other people would say and live our lives the way we want to and the way that we should cause really in the end we have to live with our decisions not ‘people’

The fear of what people would think made a friend of mine who is supposed to be in her 4th year to start the arduous journey of trying to re-enter the university this year and start all over again, the people whose opinions she was so scared of are going on with their lives not once remembering her.

16 comments:

Ugo Daniels said...

I'm always selfish whenenver it comes to matters of interest to my happiness or well being. As they say, damn the torpedoes, full steam ahead (or vulgarly put...fuck the haters ;))

Naapali said...

A saying goes "a life lived in fear is a life half lived". The worst kind of fear must be that of the opinion of others. I have never lived like this. I try to raise my daughters to never think like this. It hurts me to see my mother utter the words "what will people say" as an excuse for doing something she probably would rather not do.

ANU BOY said...

omo mehn... uhmm, what will people think ko what will they think ni, how does it affect them if i decide to do something, whereas, you do not know what they do sef, so why should i bother... i make my decision on my own, and suffer the consequences alone, i do not have time for what they think.... they should live thiers and i will live mine...

wetin sef???

princesa said...

Girl am feeling this post!
People should live their lives according to their hearts dictates afterall as my friend says it: "Nobody follow you come world!".

bighead said...

Guilty as charged. What's my sentence?

But i still think its ok to some extent to care about what people think.

Sha said...

you're rite u knw. I think we've all been there b4, and now many ppl seem to forget its their lives, and they shudnt allow other ppl to live it for them.

Like someone said, sometimes its ok but @ d end of d day u gotta do whats best for U!

simplynuttie said...

Beyonce and Walter Williams song in the movie 'Fighting Temptations' says...

"Every body's got opinion, they share, they aint been in my position, they dont care"

They really dont care about what you do...its just best to go ahead and do what is really best for you.

Although, i tell people what i intend doing...its just to know what they will think about it when i eventually do it...cos i know they wont say a word once its done!

Allied said...

Nice post. We are so caught up in "what will people say" what w dont things for ourselves. A lot of children are in univeristy doing science when their love is art because of "what will people say" a lot of poeople are married to the wrong person because of "what will people say"

God help us.

Zephi said...

Real talk

Overwhelmed Naija Babe said...

i like this post and agree with it completely.. its best to live ur life.. for yourself... cos at the end of the day thats the only person you're responsible for.

Obinwanne said...

i dont think about what people will say, its wierd but sometimes i think "what will people not say"......thats life for me...how are you?>

CATWALQ a.k.a LAGBA-JESS said...

I thought I left a comment...

Well, if I listened to what people had to say about how I should live my life, I will not be where I am today

exschoolnerd said...

@catwalq..i thought u left a comment too.

DAVID said...

Aww, I'm in love with your blog! God-fearing and smart- always a plus!

DAVID said...

But in relation to this post;

I realize that as I am growing older, I'm starting to become more responsible for MY decisions. Before I used to care more about what friends and others thought but now it's different mayne... Mum is not gonna come sort my life out for me, neither would the speculators. If I live for God and myself and do so confidently, people will respect me. And that's what matters!

laspapi said...

It took me a very long while to reach the point where you are. Its a good thing to start early, nerd. Your life is yours.