Happy New Year!!
So how was the New Year been so far? Mine has been quite okay, no new year resolutions here…so my yea started one kain one kain….i had a yeast infection..you know what that is right…if you don’t google it…and no its not sexually transmitted…well mine wasn’t..so for all you olofofo’s thinking…
VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA
Even typing the word has my heart beating faster than usual, what is it about that word that we are so scared of, its just a part of the female anatomy why do we give it so much power…anyways it is because of this I decided to suffer with my yeast infection for weeks oh..too sacred to talk about that part of my body…yes V that since we were little we’ve been made to feel calling it is a sin itself.
I wanted to tell my dad because he is the person we direct all health related matters to at home, but how akward would it be…I never thought the day would come when the words daddy and vagina would be in the same sentence…I couldn’t do it…I couldn’t even tell my mum cause she would blow it all out of proportion and call it Chlamydia or gonorrhea and make a fuss out of the whole thing….so I kept quiet…till I couldn’t take it anymore..
So I braced myself and went to tell my mum, I sha used style to tell her…i explained the symptoms to her and she was like oh its yeast infection…and am like is that all….no splashing of holy water on me? No yells for my father to come and see wetin im pikin don carry come house? Nothing? Whoever you are bring my mother back!!!!
On the contrary she was really nice and concerned, she started asking me questions did u sit on the toilet of a public restroom, did you share pant with anybody? I was like say what? Share kpata? Did you try out clothes? Maybe? What did you do recently that u haven’t done ina while….I was like shuoo…Mommy Holmes…The only thing I just started doing was riding okada’s..i don’t know if there’s a connection but what’s the remedy stop asking me questions…
She told me not to worry that she’d call the pharmacist later in the day and explain everything to him and ill go get drugs and I will be all right.. I swear I couldn’t believe that was my mom….i just expected one side remark like “Abi u have gaan open yer legs for one oniranu”..but no nothing…just nice caring mother..(not that she’s not nice and caring)…I just expected her reaction to be like….toye and lekan hold her down while I force the pepper inside her Vagina…
I was uncomfortable the whole day but was happy my mom had my back and she was going to take care of everything, I got home and she still hadn’t called the pharmacist and then she called him in front of me. I told her my day was horrid and I even had to use penis…she shouted!...then I completed it cilin…penicillin…haba! I did that on purpose…
“Hi is this Mr so so and so? Well my daughter has a problem she will come and see you”
I thought you said you were going to explain everything to him, how? Why? This is not fair, I mean going to talk about Vgaina related issues with a man I see every time and great and..do u know how embarrassing it will be for me…I was so pissed..she didn’t have my back after all…
I just couldn’t do it so I decided to write a letter to him explaining everything and signed it as my mum..i don’t mind him reading it but the words Vagina aint coming out of my mouth while he’s staring at me.
So I get to his pharmacy, he calls me in a small room I hand it over to him and he really didn’t make me feel uncomfortable just asked me a couple of questions, like do I wear cotton undies…so yeah the pharmacist knows what kind of undies I wear now…and some other questions like this….i thought he was going to ask when last did you have sexual relations…but like I said yeast infection isn’t gotten through that….well not necessarily…(google people, google)…lol when I was about to go guess what he said..
Try to sleep without kpata so fresh air will enter there (not in those words sha)..i nearly died!
Who told him fresh air didn’t use to enter..Mchew!!!
Now that ive grossed u all out….Hapoy new year once again..and I wish you a yeast infection free year..better say Amen…Yeah guys too..cause apparently..yall get it too.