Friday, 30 May 2008

Saved from a crazy cab driver

My parents had always warned me never to use cabs in the evenings/night, but on this monday I got to my hostel and there was no light, the generator hadn’t been working for more than a week and the people supposed to repair it weren’t answering our calls..oh yeah and there was no diesel, did I mention we had no light, the light situation in that area is deplorable, we get light like once a week…kid you not.I found out that none of my friends were around and I was going to be sleeping alone in my room and I thought to myself what exactly am I doing here when I can be at home, enjoying, with light and free food and watching tv, am suffering here…but its kinda late its like to 7.I grab some clothes walk to the junction and look for a cab, its when you want them you never see them. I stopped one he said 1500, I looked at him you for come steal am…carry your pangolo comot jare, waited o! I think God was telling me to just take a bus…but they make too many stops if not id have taken one, or take the BRT buses which are faster…but I imagined there’d be a crowd and I cant wait jare….plus i had money why not enter a cab and get home quick.


One wereh cab driver just whizzed past me but I signaled to him, he stopped in front. maybe I shud have just let him go, neways we bargain and he gives me an okay price. when I enter i realize the cab looks horrid, the inner paddings of all the doors are gone, the seat is one kain one kain…I can see the boot from the front seat…hmmm I didn’t think anything but I just started pleading the blood of Jesus just in case…I didn’t suspect anything, but whenever am in a car with a stranger I just plead the blood and soak and saturate my self in the blood of Jesus…like mother would say..lol…

Anyways I didn’t think there’d be hold up that’s why I took the cab but the hold up was madd…It wasn’t go-slow but hold-up at one point we were in the same spot for 45mins….the cab driver also started showing himself, driving all gra gra like, entering without looking..am like “Man yi cool down o”..and he’s like “leave that one, na me nothing fit happen”…ehen nothing fit happen, u get spare human parts for house incase anything happen to u shey…well me I don’t have that luxury….they don’t sell my kain head for market so better behave yourself. I brought out one of my fones, both of them were dead, forgot my charger….but I pretended to be making a call to my brother “Lekan, I just left my hostel am at so so and so place”…I thought if he(cab driver) knew I was giving someone information about my whereabouts he’d be more wary. I did that a couple of more times as we moved.

He started using corner corner instead of the main road and I didn’t like this cause I wanted him to use the ikorodu road-the express…not passing any stupid shortcut and carry me inside one street make them go ragaboo me..I told him to go back to the express and he was grumbling.

All through this ride this man was looking at my breasts, as in fixed gaze not once twitching and I felt very violated..i was imagining all sorts maybe he was thinking “this kain breast go fetch money well well o, or he was just a pervert”…he’d be acting funny asking me strange questions “Is the heat too hot”…lol…that cracked me up a lil..heat dey too hot again….”can I adjust your chair”….”man yi leave me alone”…all I kept thinking was maybe he put juju on the chair for anyone who sits down to sleep or their mouth to immediately seal, or they wont be able to talk, or they’d be semi paralysed and he can take them anywhere and use them for anything, which was why he was monitoring me cause his juju wasn’t working… and then I was like laide u r paranoid but this man was actin very strange and he looked strange….at one point he entered the BRT lane, chei I was scared….BRT buses were coming oh…I was like leave the road now, leave…but the idiot couldn’t unless a car in front gives him space and there’s hold-up..the buses were coming o! I could see the lights as they drew nearer..i was like should I just run out cause they’d definitely hit the car…only for the car infront to move a lil and we entered partially, just enough to avoid getting hit…I was breathing fast..i look at him..i didn’t know whether to reach over and press his eyes inside his head…I was pissed..i told him “you no see wetin u wan cause”…he was like “nothing, nothing fit happen, no be me” I asked him “u be wizard”…. He laughed “Nothing fit happen”….i was scared it’s not like he refuted my wizard allegation.

I cover my self with the Blood of Jesus I continued to say under my breath.

He suggested we pass near that corona school and use third mainland, but I didn’t want that cause he was a cab driver he knew places and he might want to take short cuts that I didn’t want so I forced him to still use the ikorodu express, he started grumbling and after a while when it wasn’t moving at all..he found his way to the service lane and we were going to use third mainland…there was traffic too but at least it was moving…it was now like 8pm…my fones were dead…but I managed to put one on and actually called my brother this time to tell him to not get too worried cause I called him to tell him I was coming..told him I was on the road passing third mainland and there was go-slow…

This man began his crazy driving, entering without looking, doing like a mad man…fighting with people…shouting…looking at my breast too intently…leaning too close to me….asking me stupid questions. I started singing o! I kid u not…if iv lied about anything I am not lying now…cause when I told my bro he said I was lying. I sang “Praising the lord” “I plead the blood of Jesus” “when I look to my left I see satan has fallen”….even that Carrie Underwood song that I didn’t like o! “Jesus take the wheel”..i imagined God telling me to shut up! And take his name comot from my mouth, shey because I was in danger…but I sang all the same oh. I begged the holy spirit to come and straighten his ass up.

We reached one point and he just took a right turn I didn’t expect into this very dark place “Where are you going I was shouting, where are you taking me too?”

He was like relax! Ah I see that you are scared now, you think I want to take you somewhere go use you for something…why? Why?

I tried to play down my fear so he wont capitalize on it..i was like “I just dey careful am not scared”…
”I can’t take you anywhere” he continued.
“Last month some robbers dey trail me they wan rob this girl wey I carry, see my forehead, I show them sey me sef I be man, as they cross me for front I use my sense comot from there….i show them driving skills, them no rob that woman oh, I no fit take you anywhere”

I still wasn’t convinced oh….i was still scared.

He started making small talk with me…..

He saw a cab had broken down the wereh parked on the road and went to start pushing the cab, not like he knew the person even if he did wasn’t he driving me. After pushing the cab infront of him he started using his cab to push the other cab infront..i was like what sort of rubbish is this…see tanker to my left, right, front and back.,.and this one is just doing anything he likes…

“Father I declare that I loooove you, I declare my everlasting love for you!”

I sang all these songs under my breath but he could hear I was singing something sha., wetin concern me if he like make im hear..he fought some more, insulting bus drivers, promising to look for them that he had written their plate number…hmmm…I couldn’t really see wer he was using, cause it was dark but I had a feeling we were on the right track, almost stopped someone to ask…but I didn’t…called my bro…with the fone I managed to put on..he kept shouting where r u? where r u?

We finally get to Alapere and am relieved cause we r on the right track….we reach Ketu and he’s like “You are not scared anymore shey”… I was like am still trying to be careful oh anything can happen..i direct him to my street and he starts asking me stupid questions about where I live I decide it wont be safe to let him drop me at my house gon gon…so I stopped a street from my estate and I get down pay him his money and bid him farewell… I was happy I was out of that cab…when I think about it he might not have wanted to take me anywhere but with the way he was acting, nebody would think he was up to something on the other hand he could have also wanted to take me somewhere but when he saw I was cautious and might raise alarm he didn’t try anything

Anyways I am happy cause i had a bad feeling all through the ride and I Thank God that I was brought home safely, I give him all the glory….abeg blogville help me thank God o! hmmm….yall be careful o!

31 comments:

olu said...

Thank God for you oh! LOL
A taxi driver staring lustfully at your breast whilst driving?! Lechrous! It seems your breast thing is now an issue, put up some pictures of you and let me do a critique. LOL

Naapali said...

Reads like a very hoary experience. I suspect your vivid imagination played its part in scaring you. Glad to know you are well.

Bukenzo said...

You ve heard and read so much, u just couldnt help imagine stuff, i guess. God's up there watching over you and he doesnt sleep, so take a chill pill.

Mz. Dee said...

Damn!! I can understand why u'd be scared bbz. Thank god 4 u tho
If nt 4 stories we've heard, i doubt u wuda been so scared..lol

Kolade said...

"This kain breast go fetch money wella"...."when i look at my left, i see satan has fallen"....that was hilarious...

musco said...

who says God won't take care of his own despite our shortcomings.

real but hilarious as usual!

TY Tha Mos Magnificent said...

abeg if u are naija check my blog bout the nepa crisis

Anu Boy said...

na God save ur bum....

god thing you are chilling

olu said...

...and I don't mean conventional pictures oh! LOL. I'm terrible like that.

zara said...

ah! we thank God for ur life too oo! lol
seriousli.. i was laffing all thru it.. cos for u to blog about it.. means nothing happened to u.. lol serious were man..lol lmao

eFJay said...

E ke Alleluia Meje!!! LOL
Awww bless u sweetie! Glad u r safe. I actually love that Carrie Underwood song 'Jesus, take the wheel, take it from my hand...'

'ef babe'

exschoolnerd said...

@OLU...U ARE Just a pervert on ur own....

@Naapali...if u were n the cab,ud have been scared too..believe me.

@bukenzo....well i know God's watching for me..bt heaven helps duz who helps themselves oh...meaning we gata be cautious too.


@mz dee...abi o! thank God oh...who knows how many people have gone like that..

@kolade...with the way he was staring cudnt help thinking that

@musco..he sure does..

@anu...u think sey God be like u....

@zara and efjay...thnx dearies...appreciate it..Thank God o!!

Standtall said...

What a story. Thank God it wasn't a kidnapping case. When God whisper's to your heart about a certain thing, pls follow His instructions. I had entered one chance b4 cos I didnt listen to my inner voice.

I believe you on light irregularity, it's so bad nwo that I can relocate from Nigeria cos of it. For serious

wellsbaba said...

lol...LOL...hahah...HAHAHA...kai,u come remember God..lol..y u dey far naw,nothin do u jo...its good u played safe it might b ur precautions that changed his mind

theicequeen said...

L.M.A.O!! na who send you? you no know say na lagos you dey? see how youre just entering jalopy anyhow at night..na God save you no be small!

have tears in my eyes from when you started singin..(you bin wan show am who fit crase pas?) and wanting to press his eyes into his head..that one is original oh!

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Akshay said...

I am glad nothing bad happened.... this post was interesting and I liked the way you narrated....

יש (Yosh) said...

Hahahahaha! It's been a while since I last heard ragabo mi

ololufemi ragabo mi Lmao

.I begged the holy spirit to come and straighten his ass up

lmfao


Glad u got out safe, sha! Lag can be crazy. And the traffic situation is...I dunno! It's just something I can never get used to any more. That's the one major reason I am reluctant to visit again, not time...

Sasuke said...

i thank God for you my sister all this cab drivers get blood for their eyes but next time abeg listen to your conscience trust me it could save you a whole load of stress.

badderchic said...

ose o jesu a o ma yin o
ose o jesu olorun ayo wa
ose o Jesu a o ma yin o
baba gbope ta mu wa fun o!

your yansh would have been solved to clifford orji.

princesa said...

LMAO!
laide babe you were just scared, am pretty sure it was ur imagination that was playing tricks on you.

That man sounded suspicious sha but me thinks he was probably high on igbo or drunk,lol!

bumight said...

overactive immagination, i say, but it cant help to be too careful!

Naija finegirl said...

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ibiluv said...

glad u got home safe..........oh

eFJay said...

hw r u? i'm done with exams now so i guess i'm bac

AlooFar said...

Ex,

How far?

U get career for stand-up blogmedy;)

Na wen you go write your book sef... that great Nigerian book?

exschoolnerd said...

SOON ALOOFAR..SOON!! HOW U DEY NOW? HOWS WORK?

Rayo said...

Damn crazy mofo…he prolly wasn't going to do anything to begin with, but then when he sensed that you were nervous, he decided to give you a scare.

Afrobabe said...

hahahahhahahahahah Oh my God, Laide you wont kill me oh..

But I feel that way each time I take a cab in lagos...abuja cabs seem more sensible...

This part made my laff till my tummy hurt....I imagined God telling me to shut up! And take his name comot from my mouth, shey because I was in danger

Charizard said...

Buahahahahahahahahahaahahaha


Thank God for your life sha...pele Laide sho gbo?

Baroque said...

BREASTS OF ISSUES!!!