“Are you she-si or ma-yu?”
Those were the words uttered by someone me and my friend have come to know as “sharming pwince” at 1:00am in the morning…the day after the UEFA Champions league finals in which Man.u won!!! Saweet victory. i digress!
“Did you wash the ball?” he asked?
“Are you sher-si or ma-yu” (Chelsea or man.u)
At friggin 1:00 am in the morning…abi dis one don crase.
I’ve told odunayo that’s she’s not my friend as long as she continues to entertain such such…..don’t even know what to call it. He got her number from someone and she aint seen him yet but he’s in love with her and thinks she’s an “hangel”…he asked her…what did u store my name as on your fone….she said what did you tell me you name was…isn’t it Demola.
“No it replied (the it is intentional) store it as “sharmin pwince”…so there you go…we call him sharmin pwince and all others of his kind.
I am tired of “Sharmin pwinces” approaching me,and a lot have been approaching me lately….
I haven’t been in a relationship for a while, and part of me doesn’t want to be in one cause of the whole sex issue and part of me would really like to meet someone but its hard cause I don’t come by people I really dig that often…there are some I dig now…but our friendship is too precious for me to spoil…
Why isn’t there a market where we can just go and buy a boyfriend, and ensure he comes with all those specifics, like we always look for in cars, if there was a boyfriend shop I definitely know what I would be looking for. We all know the basic things we all want someone caring, loving, trustworthy, God-fearing…all that good stuff….but these are some other specific features that “LAIDE’S POTENTIAL BOO 2008 model” has gotta have.
Speaks good English…Now I know English is not our mother tongue but if we choose to speak it we should at least speak it well. Is it too much to ask. I mean to meet someone who doesn’t make blunders like “I want to know you more better” “Pls reply me back” or “ I can hear the smelling”…..i mean common! This is the biggest turn off for me, I don’t care if you schooled at Harvard if you can’t put together a sensible sentence free of grammatical errors…it just ain’t happening. Even if you are Tyson beckford, with lebron james money….i am sorry.I don’t need that headache of trying to decipher what you are saying…it would run me mad….and ill have to go through the arduous task of thinking up a way to kill you. Thats how much I hate blunders.
I just want a dude that possesses intellectual ability and transcendent common sense…ok put that dictionary down before you hurt yourself…that’s just big grammar basically FOR someone who has got some sense. I want someone who I can learn from everyday, who’s like a fountain of knowledge just overflowing into me, who knows things I do not and is well read. Smart but fun, not in a geeky way but more like Tony stark in Iron man. He can play teacher and I will be his ever listening student…and he can spank me whenever….okay this is turning perverted…
That’s has a knowledge and love of the arts…cause I do so it’d be good to have someone who I can relate with and talk about the same kinds of things and appreciates the things I love…
Sense of humour/craziness/witty....I mean hyper, extroverted, people person who just know how to make people laugh,the life of the party and doesn’t take things too seriously. Like someone I met recently. But he has a girlfriend, me and my friend still talk about the crazy things he did or said…we just remember and I’ll be like “Can u remember the time when T was like…and we’ll giggle…I think we both secretly like him. …
Someone who has brain touch, that acts like wire is sparking inside his body….cause I am introverted, it would be a nice complement…crazy like dbanj….but less vulgar and without too many names for his private part and without too many girls who want to taste his koko.
That dresses well! My ex boyfriend Kanye West was a winner in this category..the bobo dress shege!..i mean you don’t have to buy the designer duds just look put together whenever and do not I repeat..do not fly your collar like a friggin retard. Someone who doesn’t follow the bandwagon when it comes to dressing does his own thing.Doesnt follow fashion rules, makes fashion statements.
Looking for a guy who doesn’t like sex is harder than Jason and the Argonauts search for the Golden Fleece, so I’d just say someone who is maybe a lot more patient and understanding when it comes to that…and who understands that NO means NO…cause some guys need their cheeks boxed a couple of times and their features redesigned before they can properly assess the word NO!..Sometimes No doesn’t mean YES. Just because I am your girlfriend doesn’t mean I have become your property so when you say open sesime….the doors to the cave musto open….if not you’ll pry it open.
Must be ambitious and have potential….if you are smart and sitting on your mothers couch at 30….thats just pretty stupid….i want to see that drive, that passion to get up and do something and that urge to strive and get to the next level, it will sort of inspire me too….there are some people that might not have everything now, he might not have the car or the flashy crib….. but you look at them and say this person knows where he’s going and the way he’s going at it, he just might get there….he has potential and that’s good enough for me.
Thinks I am the best thing since “Girls of the playboy mansion
As per looks, notice how it’s the last thing I listed..that’s because it’s like the least important….now hold on….that doesn’t mean that you should carry face like prey-mantis and come and meet me o! pls o! Don’t say laide but you said you don’t care about looks..i said you don’t have to be a 10…you could be a 4 or 5…not a -6….you don’t have to be the finest of persons. You just have to take care of yourself properly and have all the other qualities listed above.
And when he acts up you just take him back to the store
“Eh I think there r some screws loose in his head, I had to uh slap him upside his head when I caught him staring at my friends ass….could u like tighten it a lil harder”
“Is there any chance that this can be sewed back on, I don’t care if it ever works properly… I chopped it off…when he cudnt understand that no was no”
You know that kinda thing…aww!! If only wishes were horses…beggars would have a jolly ol’ ride.