Monday, 28 July 2008

Its a bad thing to not be sharp!

His name is Dimeji bello…if you know him tell him I said he is a bolo….he finished from university of North London..am giving out his details so that anyone who knows him can tell him that LAIDE…..said he is a BOLO.

What happened oh, okay this boy is a childhood friend of my friend ODB, they just got in contact with each other recently, he just finished school in jand and he’s in Nigeria and he’s asking her out and all…he told my friend ODB and he wanted us (her friends) to come out and chill and we were like okay, it’s a boring Saturday, nothing to do in the hostel we might as well go out and have fun. We got dressed up oh… ….sha looked nice…so did everyone ..all four of us….he said bring ur friends? Me I respect myself and if I wasn’t invited my leg will not comot from my hostel when going out is not doing me like that…


Anyways he comes oh in his Toyota Avensis….m like nice car…but damn he was short maybe like 5ft 5 and his equally short cousin (think horbits)…they didn’t even say hi or anything, even after my friends said hi to them, me I didn’t even bother saying hi when they started acting all uppity and shit cause he just came back from jand in my mind I was like..maybe he’s just shy and all…lemme cut him some slack….we squeeze ourselves into the back seat and we are on our way only for him to get stopped by some police men..they ordered them out and start searching their pockets, we thought ah! Is that allowed? And they aren’t even protesting? Anyways they searched their whole pockets almost put hand inside their yansh sef….they were still speaking fo-ne….see ehn if it were other unilag girls they will just sit in the car and let the boys handle them sef..they’ll even be hissing sef…..but we came out and we asked the officers what the problem was, which language did we not speak? English, Yoruba, pidgin….just to let them release us, they said the reason why they wouldn’t allow us go was cause the boys didn’t have allocation papers for plate number…shuoooo!! Since when did they start asking for that one..we sha talked to the officers oh…all the while these boys were just there looking like lucozade not saying anything…speaking fo-ne..shey fo-ne is what they want to eat? Talk sense to these police men come down to their level which one is all this…knahmean,….warram saying…..lemme call my daddy…..at ur age?

They wasted our time oh, we talked and talked and begged for these boys…..they searched the boot of the car like 5 times, searched their pockets ,took their fones, went thru all the numbers….but this mumu boys just stared like the bolo’s that they are….then one sleazy, slimy, disgusting sonborry of an inspector comes from nowhere and tells us that last week they caught a girl who hid cocaine in her private par that we should enter one by one in the car so he can be checking our private part region for what he didn’t put there….he also said in a jeering voice that he knows he has made us miss our ‘TARGETS’……meaning that the boys were probably organizing us as ARISTO girls….it was later I heard this and I was so so disgusted…..i mean what would cause all that because we dressed up, wore make-up it automatically means we are aristo girls…the boys didn’t even come to our defence oh..and the way they kept quiet and they were detached from us and we were douing all the talking made it seem like we had a lot at stake that’s why we wanted to get out of there in a hurry…but we are just nice girls….nothing more nothing less… the inspector also wanted to smooch us and when we were angry he was like not even one of u go allow me…..i was vexed and felt insulted..all the while dumb and dumber were just looking with this very retarded look on their face I swear u shud have seen how stupid they were looking, we were the ones doing all the talking, all the work….the sleazy police officer was practically drooling looking at all of us, and collected my friends number…..he definitely had the wrong impression about us…..and while he harassed us those idiots just looked on….anyways after they had wasted our time, we spent one hour standing, fighting for these two stupid boys….they finally release us and we get back into the car….No thanks guys oh anything…

They now make a turn they are not supposed to, and we are like…..ah ah…you are supposed to go straight and the idiot, the gremlin resembling human being finally found his voice… “we are dropping you guys at your hostel, we are fucking fustrated”…….Chimo!...we have seen life…I didn’t talk oh but I was boiling…my friends now asked him if he settled them and he was like 5k……being a bolo is a very bad thing….5K….5K!!!! upon all the talk…when he would have just given them 1k…500bux sef…..5,000…..and you are fustrated, are we the ones that got u into the situation, weren’t we even the ones who got you out of it…..shuooo….the thing that pained me was that he didn’t have the courtesy to tell us that he was sorry and wasn’t up for an outing anymore….he just made a turn like “lemme go and dump these useless girls back in their hotels they don’t deserve any explanation”….chei I was so so vexed…so angry…..oooh so now you are fustrated when the officers were treating u anyhow….yall didn’t say nothing…..


When we got to the hostel I told my friend to send him a text, then I told her lemme type the text…and I did….i told him he messed up big time…..Dimeji if you see this, your proud, leprechaun looking ass needs to sharpen up and am happy we didn’t get to hang out with u…..looking at it now it’s a blessing in disguise…and I just pray I see u outside some other day…..and you will know what I think about you….i feel sorry for you and the earlier u lend urself a brain the better….silly mistake for a boy.

I think the mistake I made was not telling him to just drop me on the road, so ill just walk to my hostel…I carry myself in such a manner that I give no allowance for disrespect and so do my friends so for such an idiot…to think that he can treat me anyhow is so sad.i hear he went to a private school and was shipped to jand for university afterwards, that’s no excuse to not be sharp…me and my friends all went to private sec schls, I alone went to four…my friends jand every other holiday and we are not dulling.I mean they couldn’t even say hi….you know what I think they were expecting some small ass frenz that are probably shorter than they are and they see three big ass gurls, tall, thick and they are intimidated and cant handle it…oma se!

Please I saw this insult in one book laik this and it befits them:

Smutty, ill bred, foul-mouthed, uncouth, mangy, grossly ribald, whipper-snapper chipmunks.

I know u might be wondering why I didn’t say all these infront of them, but u need to understand the shock I was in I thought they were joking, I mean they had to be we just spent one hour begging for them…and I wasn’t the one that knew them…if not I would tell them my mind..but if I start trading words with them id come of as just anoda “skempre” who is burnt that she didn’t get to go out..like her life depended on it….

Ill definitely meet them somewhere, no be naija.

32 comments:

Sha said...

FIRSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSST!!

Now lemme laugh LMAO... oh me gosh.. he's such an idiot.. a proud idiot, actually both of those dwarfs... hahaah but i partly blame ya friend too. she shuda knwn d kinda idiots she's abt to hang out with, b4 taking yall with her. Damn the story funny nor be small, all d fo-neh on top north london uni? Na real wa.. ur eyes sef don see enuff oh..lol sorry dear. Next time u too nor go 'tag along' :-D hhehehe have a nice week.

P.S i dnt think its nice u actually included his 'real name' tho dats if its frealz.

tankojjetty said...

i dont think u shd have included he's name though...
thats wat u get for awoof...
the part abt him calling he's dad just killed it...
i think you learnt ur lesson though...
he wasnt confident enough to face the nigerian police...lol
he just had to negotiate...lol
btw i'm short too, but i wld have pulled it off
nice one

mizchif said...

Yeeeeeeeeeepa! Omo, i pity for those boys o.
"Smutty, ill bred, foul-mouthed, uncouth, mangy, grossly ribald, whipper- snapper chipmunks."
Omo mehn, does guys must have really vexed u, for to lash out like this.
But for real, i think there's some kind of bolo medication they give in some of those private schs, if u now come from some homes where you r molly cuddled, the medication will have full efficacy, but if u're lucky and der r soji ppl around u outside of sch, then you might just escape it.

But seriuosly, shame no catch dem to talk "lemme call my dad" For police for lagos again.

Afrobabe said...

lmao...hahhahahhaha..men I never recover from all the curse wey you curse them especially the one in the book..u should have sent that to them...

Sting said...

LOL... the boy na ode. He was dulling seriously. What does coming from Jand have to do with being rude? Na una send the police come. Na yeye dey worry them.

Come, are u calling me short? Since when did 5'5 become short.Take time oh! Na becos u tall abi?

bumight said...

Lol! I was going to say cut the guy some slack, but then when it comes to it, the guy na real bolo true true! ( I only heard one person use that term before and this dude fit the bill more than it!)

maybe the guy was trying to save face in front of babes? or he was intimidated? or has heard so many horror stories about the police? or is just a plain ol' bolo!

Lighty 'neferet' Kopearl said...

lolollloll. not even sayin hello? how old is the guy??? which kai wahala. and after all that harassment 5k. na realll bolo.


eeya sorry girlies, all that make up, perfume and nice dresses just to stand on the road, beg and get dropped off. the guy na correct lunatic. but @ the same time, am sure he was just scared and didnt know how to handle the naija cops like i sayin, how old is he again?

Baroque said...

fucking dull fellas...na them be first to go private schools?...abeg, no vex again, you hear!

Mz. Dee said...

omg... babe u try o!!
me i 4 vex insult d hell outta guy!!
nansense

musco said...

i strongly feel u shld have given them a piece of ur mind b4 they left.

how dem go turn back & drop off a whole ex-schoolnerd like dat?

don't worry!'shit happens smtms'!

Tyger said...

i am so laffing....

na real bolo... probably scared out of his pata by the police officers... so he couldnt negotiate... 5k!
i think the most i ever gave police was 1k and that was cause i didnt have one single paper on me not even drivers licence! ...lol...

bolo oshi!

but you for no mention his name na... you know that thing about when you close a door on someone you close it gently incase you gotta open it again...lol...

anyway take am easy sha... na so awoof dey be.. next time you too... dey hold 'vex money'
you go just quietly cross road go get cab... abi?...lol

archiwiz said...

LOL...They were some really rude dundees. A no know say omo guy of for Naija of nowadays go still flow like mumu for police.

But pele ohh...Try cool down.

kemi said...

Babes ah ah, take it easy with Dimeji and his cousin. Cut them some slack!! I think I might understand where they are coming from but i will agree that Bolo is the right word to describe them!!! Dudes just dont have a clue how to deal with naija police, lastma and all the other crazies on lagos road. They are going around with this jand easy life, respect authority mentality which will take you places here but not in lag. Maybe it was his first time driving in Naija sef.

Next time you see him I can bet that his driver will be back to work.
Who knows you and the dude just might get friendly and you can always call him out if he tries to form hard guy in front of you hahaha

NigerianDramaQueen said...

Ewoooo
Babes u don yap them finish oh! But what kind of nonsense and ingredients is that? I cant believe those police officers even suggested checking your cutchies! As for those boys, I think shame just catch them and they no sabi handle am!

Naija Idol said...

Bolo na understatement.how can naija boys be dulling like dat noow??? ahn ahn. mehnn i prefer to trek reach hostel.if i siddon back seat, i for just give them two slap for their back head. were.c as i come dey follow u vex sef.*hiss*

Jayjazzy said...

Well u cant blame the dull guy for not knowing whats up! and how du u know if the guy wasnt even vexed that u guys had brought plenty family along and that 5 grand might have been the only money on him. Forget the Avensis Avis rent a car is still in business.

lol

'dara said...

oh and one small thing, university of north london doesnt exist anymore, it merged with another uni ages ago so jand-guy may not be all he seems so jus be careful for next time...and jand-guys can be just as discourteous as the next guy so don't let it get to you

olu said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
olu said...

LOL at the inspector wanting to smooch you guys.

"Smutty, ill bred, foul-mouthed, uncouth, mangy, grossly ribald, whipper-snapper chipmunk". Omo, you are mean oh!

I can imagine what will happen when next you meet them.

PS: What is it with you and short ppl now? You know why I said so.

SCOMISS said...

chei.....my babe....why naaaaa?...maka whyyyy?


i can't stop laughing sef

Ms. Catwalq said...

o ma se o

ajebo men

FineBoy Agbero said...

what?
which kain guys be those two big time dwarfs?
u know d guy address make me and my boys go fix am up?
idiot!

Chari said...

LOL....Laide u dey vex oo...

buh I mus confess the boiz dullin buh u can like to remember that them fit no used to the askari wahala for naij naa...slow ur role small abeg...ahnahn u harsh o!

theicequeen said...

eyya pele oh, may we never encounter such olodoness!!! lmao @Gremlin lookin human being...hisss,. the bwoiz sound like major muguz..una sef no try, you woulda slipped the police small somtin, let them carry the boys to cell and wake them up, cuz the aje they wer formin...mchuuuuu!

and "i go school for jand" no be excuse...just picture the way FineBoy for handle that thing, and you'll realize it too...

Woomie O! said...

he he! the boiz get PHD for mumurity, stupidness and folishity...ah ha!!! dey neva jam!
5,000 to sort Police wey need just 100 naira...yee pa!!!

That will teach you to examine paroles well well before making and baffing up...lol!!!


You for let them check your down-there for cocaine....eeehh wwooooo!!!

exschoolnerd said...

@ those who think i was harsh on the boy....you weren't there so u cant imagine how i must have felt...and i was pissed off majorly and this is how i reacted..sue me!..they deserve it..if u dont think so...na ur wahala be that o!

@ those who think i like awoof/paroles...funny enough i dont...i think i am the probably one of the girls who go out the least in the whole of unilag and not because i am a good girl but because i am not just a going out fan,but man no be isalnd every now and then u want to hang out... the only reason i went out was cause it was my friend who invited me,a friend that i trust...and who knows better than to hang out with senseless people...but i guess this one fooled her into thinking he had a brain...so the whole talk about wanting to go out...ko bo si..


@ those who joined me in abusing him... una do well jare!!!

Ms.O said...

EWOOOOOOOOOOOOO which kind fake guys be this..YEKPA!!!...them done miss road come jam fine girls!!! that was a good laugh and damn at all those curses!! First time here..lemme blogroll u!!!

ineffable said...

think twice, it seems we'll just stop going for the "buttey" boys and date some area boys for a change....lol
abi would they have stopped y'all if there were hard looking guys in the car?
follow my line of thought...

zara (my alter ego) said...

that just reminded me of a scene in crash(if u have seen it) where a police frisks terrence howard's wife(thandie newton) and eeven touched her privat parts and he didnt do anything about it just looked on like ur bolos wen u girls were getting harrassed,, sorry u hear..lol

Beulah! said...

Hahahaa....couldn't stop laffing!!...girl, u r gifted!

TinTin said...

lmaaaaaaaaaaaaaaooooooooooooooooo!!!!

pls when did this guy graduate cos there is no UNIVERSITY OF NORTH LONDON anymore!!!

Tisha said...

i can understand how u feel.
don't date short guys, don't even hang out with them, its a waste of precious time.