This isnt a continuation of chari's own oh!!!
The EXSCHOOLNERD AND CHARI SHOW!
The case of the missing payint
(A face me i face you house in mushin)
Xsn: (shouting) dem don start again o! what is it! Shey person no fit dry payint again make e come back see am, ah han! No o! sumbody musto produce that payint today or else all of this place go scatter today….make una come out o! people come out o!
Chari: Ahan, na who dey shout for this place, u no know sey person still dey sleep.
XSn: which kain useless sleep, shame no catch you,your mate don reach work already,make una wake up o! kasala don burst..wake up wake up! Wake up! Today na today for this place, because I just dey manage with all of una for here.
Chari: u for no manage now,ur place for VGC never ready?
Afrobabe: what is it? What is it again….
Mz dee! Badderchic! Invisible! Afrobabe, buttercup..wey all of una dey now….come out o!
They all file out one by one.
Mz dee: I taya for dis place oh, efriday sonthing go sha happen
Xsn: I no know whether na only me dey dis place oh, when e happen before I no talk, e happen after that one again I no talk before them talk sey Xsn don cari im wahala com..See me oh, I waka go line go carry clothe wey I wash, na im I see sey my Victoria’s secret pant no dey dere..shuoooo..
Chari: No be only Victoria’s secret na Ramutu's secret, so dat na why u wake all of us up…wetin consin me consin ur payint I be woman.
Invisble:Ah Xsn u surprise me oh,so you even dey wear pant?
(everybody bursts out laughing)
Xsn: God punish you dere, na your mama no dey wear pant
Invisble: see the day wey I go take bottle jaga jaga dis ur face, (looks around for bottle) shebi I don tell u sey make u take my mama comot from ur mouth….
Xsn: Gerraway!nonsense! Look! U be man o! u be woman o!abi u be scorpion,dat one no consine me! Una go produce that my pant today,if not,allah! this place no go contain all of us…and na me talkam.
Invisible; Nothing, wetin u wan do! Las las everybody go just pity you donate five five naira make u go buy another one….
Xsn: if dem sell all d thing wey u get since d time wen dem born u, e no go reach to buy that pant.
Chari: E don do, e don do..una too like fight for this place,i don dey talk sins make love not war, Oya u no wetin go happen now, we go do wetin dem dey call.”operashun show me your kpata”..to solve this matter once and for all.first una go line up one by one me and invisible go dey check your payint.as we cal ur name u go just step forward,n touch your toes.
Invisible: Yes o!
All the women: Ah chari…ASHAWO!!!!!
Badderchic:if we go first check ur mama own first no wahala,ashawo oshi
Xsn:i dey suspect dis woomie, the last time wey u con my house wey I show u dat payint, u been dey ask make u borrow am
Woomie: Me! Excuse me I don’t do such….i can never stoop so low as to borrow lingerie from another female..no not me! You must be joking
Xsn; Ah! O sa no bua….dis girl can fit to lie o! Woomie! That you don’t do such…wonders shall never end, you wey still dey with two of my payint wey u never return….
Woomie: Do you know I can have you arrested for defamation of character
Xsn: sharrap who defame ur character!
Buttercup: Na wa o! dem dey share pant again..tufiakwa!
Xsn: Shut up dere! I no gif you g-string wear wen u dey go that party last month.
Buttercup: that one na G-string, we dey talk about payint
Invisible: Chineeeeehke!! And I dey chop before oh.shey i go still fit chop dat food.chai! person go see all u ghes, u go rub powder for face finish resemble human being e no go no sey una dey take pant dey do relay.
Badderchic: I hope sey u no carry me join for that thing wey u just talk now, because if not ehn I go take dis my finger chook for ur eye…look Xsn if u no get any betta talk make we dey go jare, u loss pant dat na why u assemble all of us like sey u loss better thing.
Xsn: na better thing oh, how u go know when na waterproof u dey wear for yansh.
Badderchic: Emi! See ehn XSN no jus try me this morning, no just vex me, u think sey na only u get crase, no just vex me.
Xsn: Comot dere, nothing fit happen jo! Nothing! If una no produce that payint from were e dey, whether na person yansh abi u go hide am for inside pot,e no consine me because wen I start my own….ah! e go be like sey e pass payint matter.
Chari: Okay now as nobody wan confess sey dem steal ur payint wetin go con happen.
Xsn: see if shame dey catch you make u confess, just jejely go spread am were u tiff am from…
Woomie: I don’t even know why I am here, I mean it shouldn’t really involve me at all.
Chari: sharrap dia! U don dey speak English since morning, spe spe spe, dey act like person wey put hot fish for mouth, so we wey stand for here, na we con steal the pant shey?
Woomie: Do not tell me to shut up! You don’t! you don’t speak to a lady like that, it is improper.It is uncouth and you should be ashamed of ur self.
Badderchic: ki le le yi n so!(what is dis one saying)…wo i dey go jare
Xsn: come here(grabs Badderchic by her wrapper)
Badderchic: ehn ehn.ye!!! if dis wrapper mistake loose ehn, i go open all ur yansh for dis place ehn...
Chari: open o open! today na today
Afrobabe: Xsn takam easy,liff im wrapper now
(Xsn eyes Afrobabe)
invisible: the day wey dat ur eye go fall comot stil dey come...dey roll eye like person wey get werekpe.
Badderchic: Xsn leave my wrapper
Xsn: nobody dey go a anywhere till una produce my payint,all of una don mad
Badderchic: Xsn liff my cloth one,leave my cloth two, leave my cloth three.............leave my cloth one hundred and ten.
Woomie: omigosh this is tiring, em, can i go now since its clear that i didnt steal anything.
(grabs woomie's night gown)
Xsn: dey go now, o get ara e
woomie: woman will you let go of me this minute,this is arrant nonesense,let go of me.
Badderchic:leave my cloth three hundred
Afrobabe: wo piss dey catch me jare, i dey come
Xsn: make u put dat piss on call waiting, no shance oh,until i find my payint nobody dey liff dis place...
Chari: wetin i see so, ahan.....Xsn e be laik sey na your payint invisble goat dey chew so....(laughing hysterically)
Invisbile: ehn! my goat..wey im dey,ah!how e go dey chew dat kain thing make e no go die oh.
Xsn: ah! dat goat don die for my hand today(rushes down the stairs)
Invisible:(runs after her) look xsn no play rough play, na my life savings i take buy that goat,no touch dat goat oh...
Afrobabe: Victoria's secret oshi! hahaahahaha
Chases the goat around the compound in an attempt to retrieve pant....falls down repeatedly while everybody laughs.
Invisible finally retrieves her pant and examines it thorougly.
Insible:na for where dem write victoria's secret for the pant sef
Xsn: gimme my payint jare,if u see am u go know am,u think sey na d one your girlfriend dem dey wear.
( grabs a huge rock and aims it at that goat)
Xsn: e no go! e no go better for you...
Invisible: ehn ehn! Xsn no try am o! no just try am!if not na you i go take do christmas,and na your yansh i go first start with......
We need a cast o...if you want to be a part of the cast of the show jus send an email to firstname.lastname@example.org or email@example.com with the subject as: RE:CEE AND EXX SHOW