Wednesday, 24 September 2008

The EXSCHOOLNERD AND CHARI SHOW!

This isnt a continuation of chari's own oh!!!

The EXSCHOOLNERD AND CHARI SHOW!
The case of the missing payint


(A face me i face you house in mushin)

Xsn: (shouting) dem don start again o! what is it! Shey person no fit dry payint again make e come back see am, ah han! No o! sumbody musto produce that payint today or else all of this place go scatter today….make una come out o! people come out o!

Chari: Ahan, na who dey shout for this place, u no know sey person still dey sleep.

XSn: which kain useless sleep, shame no catch you,your mate don reach work already,make una wake up o! kasala don burst..wake up wake up! Wake up! Today na today for this place, because I just dey manage with all of una for here.

Chari: u for no manage now,ur place for VGC never ready?

Afrobabe: what is it? What is it again….

Mz dee! Badderchic! Invisible! Afrobabe, buttercup..wey all of una dey now….come out o!

They all file out one by one.

Mz dee: I taya for dis place oh, efriday sonthing go sha happen

Xsn: I no know whether na only me dey dis place oh, when e happen before I no talk, e happen after that one again I no talk before them talk sey Xsn don cari im wahala com..See me oh, I waka go line go carry clothe wey I wash, na im I see sey my Victoria’s secret pant no dey dere..shuoooo..


Chari: No be only Victoria’s secret na Ramutu's secret, so dat na why u wake all of us up…wetin consin me consin ur payint I be woman.

Invisble:Ah Xsn u surprise me oh,so you even dey wear pant?

(everybody bursts out laughing)

Xsn: God punish you dere, na your mama no dey wear pant

Invisble: see the day wey I go take bottle jaga jaga dis ur face, (looks around for bottle) shebi I don tell u sey make u take my mama comot from ur mouth….

Xsn: Gerraway!nonsense! Look! U be man o! u be woman o!abi u be scorpion,dat one no consine me! Una go produce that my pant today,if not,allah! this place no go contain all of us…and na me talkam.

Invisible; Nothing, wetin u wan do! Las las everybody go just pity you donate five five naira make u go buy another one….

Xsn: if dem sell all d thing wey u get since d time wen dem born u, e no go reach to buy that pant.

Chari: E don do, e don do..una too like fight for this place,i don dey talk sins make love not war, Oya u no wetin go happen now, we go do wetin dem dey call.”operashun show me your kpata”..to solve this matter once and for all.first una go line up one by one me and invisible go dey check your payint.as we cal ur name u go just step forward,n touch your toes.

Invisible: Yes o!

All the women: Ah chari…ASHAWO!!!!!

Badderchic:if we go first check ur mama own first no wahala,ashawo oshi

Xsn:i dey suspect dis woomie, the last time wey u con my house wey I show u dat payint, u been dey ask make u borrow am

Woomie: Me! Excuse me I don’t do such….i can never stoop so low as to borrow lingerie from another female..no not me! You must be joking

Xsn; Ah! O sa no bua….dis girl can fit to lie o! Woomie! That you don’t do such…wonders shall never end, you wey still dey with two of my payint wey u never return….

Woomie: Do you know I can have you arrested for defamation of character

Xsn: sharrap who defame ur character!

Buttercup: Na wa o! dem dey share pant again..tufiakwa!

Xsn: Shut up dere! I no gif you g-string wear wen u dey go that party last month.

Buttercup: that one na G-string, we dey talk about payint

Invisible: Chineeeeehke!! And I dey chop before oh.shey i go still fit chop dat food.chai! person go see all u ghes, u go rub powder for face finish resemble human being e no go no sey una dey take pant dey do relay.

Badderchic: I hope sey u no carry me join for that thing wey u just talk now, because if not ehn I go take dis my finger chook for ur eye…look Xsn if u no get any betta talk make we dey go jare, u loss pant dat na why u assemble all of us like sey u loss better thing.

Xsn: na better thing oh, how u go know when na waterproof u dey wear for yansh.

Badderchic: Emi! See ehn XSN no jus try me this morning, no just vex me, u think sey na only u get crase, no just vex me.

Xsn: Comot dere, nothing fit happen jo! Nothing! If una no produce that payint from were e dey, whether na person yansh abi u go hide am for inside pot,e no consine me because wen I start my own….ah! e go be like sey e pass payint matter.

Chari: Okay now as nobody wan confess sey dem steal ur payint wetin go con happen.

Xsn: see if shame dey catch you make u confess, just jejely go spread am were u tiff am from…

Woomie: I don’t even know why I am here, I mean it shouldn’t really involve me at all.

Chari: sharrap dia! U don dey speak English since morning, spe spe spe, dey act like person wey put hot fish for mouth, so we wey stand for here, na we con steal the pant shey?

Woomie: Do not tell me to shut up! You don’t! you don’t speak to a lady like that, it is improper.It is uncouth and you should be ashamed of ur self.

Badderchic: ki le le yi n so!(what is dis one saying)…wo i dey go jare

Xsn: come here(grabs Badderchic by her wrapper)

Badderchic: ehn ehn.ye!!! if dis wrapper mistake loose ehn, i go open all ur yansh for dis place ehn...

Chari: open o open! today na today

Afrobabe: Xsn takam easy,liff im wrapper now

(Xsn eyes Afrobabe)

invisible: the day wey dat ur eye go fall comot stil dey come...dey roll eye like person wey get werekpe.

Badderchic: Xsn leave my wrapper

Xsn: nobody dey go a anywhere till una produce my payint,all of una don mad

Badderchic: Xsn liff my cloth one,leave my cloth two, leave my cloth three.............leave my cloth one hundred and ten.


Woomie: omigosh this is tiring, em, can i go now since its clear that i didnt steal anything.


(grabs woomie's night gown)

Xsn: dey go now, o get ara e

woomie: woman will you let go of me this minute,this is arrant nonesense,let go of me.

Badderchic:leave my cloth three hundred


Afrobabe: wo piss dey catch me jare, i dey come

Xsn: make u put dat piss on call waiting, no shance oh,until i find my payint nobody dey liff dis place...



Chari: wetin i see so, ahan.....Xsn e be laik sey na your payint invisble goat dey chew so....(laughing hysterically)

Invisbile: ehn! my goat..wey im dey,ah!how e go dey chew dat kain thing make e no go die oh.



Xsn: ah! dat goat don die for my hand today(rushes down the stairs)

Invisible:(runs after her) look xsn no play rough play, na my life savings i take buy that goat,no touch dat goat oh...


Afrobabe: Victoria's secret oshi! hahaahahaha


Chases the goat around the compound in an attempt to retrieve pant....falls down repeatedly while everybody laughs.
Invisible finally retrieves her pant and examines it thorougly.


Insible:na for where dem write victoria's secret for the pant sef


Xsn: gimme my payint jare,if u see am u go know am,u think sey na d one your girlfriend dem dey wear.


( grabs a huge rock and aims it at that goat)


Xsn: e no go! e no go better for you...


Invisible: ehn ehn! Xsn no try am o! no just try am!if not na you i go take do christmas,and na your yansh i go first start with......


We need a cast o...if you want to be a part of the cast of the show jus send an email to charizardonfire@yahoo.com or emi_le_gan@yahoo.com with the subject as: RE:CEE AND EXX SHOW

46 comments:

rayo said...

is a lie, i'm the first. u nd chari e ti kolo nd dis ur solo effort gan beat wat both of u did. chari dont vex ehn. rotflmao

exschoolnerd said...

@the first one was solely chari oh!

Woomie O! said...

Ah XSN, dem don slap you before???
And I begged you...
Cracked me up for good!!!
I love you so much.
See how I made the whole story interesting. *wink*

This Rayo should take it easy abeg!!! Blog Stalker!!!!

Invisible said...

See me see trouble o. Me, live for face me, I slap you house? Me, use life savings buy goat? No be this part I ask for o. You no see say I say make una put me inside Sean John suit?

My part sweet small sha. Chari, na vicky secret pant we dey find o and the one wey my goat chop no be VS so we still need to do that inspection.
Oya, all of you girls, come and touch your toes.

mizchif said...

Nice one, nice one! I'm loving this show by the minute.
Was it Woomie that asked 4 ajebutter role?

I so like Chari's part, it sounds like what u wld hear 4rm his mouth "touch ur toes"!

Pls why is afro's role so minor now,next time give her a major role u hia!

Mz. Dee said...

LMAO!!!

omo xsn!!!!! My popsi don talk say e de carry me go hospital 4 examination!!!

I'm in his office readin dis post and LMAO!!!!!!!!!!

kai!!! E no go better 4 u sha.. this early afternoon u de make me resemble hyena!!

(mhmm oya come o!! a WHOLE ME!! a whole MZ. DEE!!!!!! only ONE LINE!!!!!!!!!!!)

bumight said...

lmao! this was hilarious!! woomie the assorted chin-chin!

exschoolnerd said...

@woomie...i shud have even given u a horrid role..na me be crazy bitch ehn!

u love me? babes i dont get down like dat..lol..j/k..luh u 1..muah!


@no be only sean john suit...na dat one u go like..make dem they touch their toes...r u an ashawo like chari?

@mizchief..no o she didnt ask for the role..just pitied her..was gonna giv her a mad woman before...about afrobabe..no wahala!!! next one..u nko?

@mz dee..kpele nau..der r plenty more to come ma worry u go over feature sef u go taya.

@bumight...thnx bummie..u want to feature in one of our stories?

archiwiz said...

LOL....ROTFL.....OMG...This is hilarious...Chaiii....Goodness....

Much ado about a payint....LOL LOL LOL

exschoolnerd said...

@archiwiz..ive seen people fight over less o!

Tigeress said...

Another round of applause. Too funny. I've always been suspicious of Invisible. He must have taken it- probably fancies Xsn. LMHO!!

u've made my morning.

exschoolnerd said...

@tigress...hmmmm..why na invisible u dey suspect...duz he have a lingerie fetish..oya spill!!!

glad to hv made ur morning dear.

Afrobabe said...

Even I laughed when Invisible asked if she dey wear payint!

leave my cloth one hundred and ten kuh..lmao...

heyyyyy why my lines small like taht...abeg I want major action...

we should have been beating shege out of that xsn

Funms said...

lmao....... u guys r hilarious.... i want a part o!

Tigeress said...

lol! c dem fighting for Leading role, parts and more action. Me- i want to be director!

Tigeress said...

As per Invisible- i've been hearing all sorts of rumours about him lately- all the grinding, free ass n tings. Reason for my suspicion.

Chari said...

lmao!

nice one with keeping the fire burning...

FineBoy Agbero said...

wetin dey happen with u and Chari, ehn?

where i dey for dis tori? U dey find trouble o! All those chics and i no dey anywhr!!!

Woomie O! said...

Wait till I catch you O Laide!
See all these people asking for roles! he he !
When we already know who took the payint...
What's Payint by the way? razz girl.
You can't give me a horrid role naow! I'm your Don Jazzy.

funkola said...

madly funny...still LMAO! i dont even know whose one was razzer, urs or chari's.

isha said...

LMAO! Haven't been on ur blog before sef. I'll be coming regularly. I knew Afrobabe would complain about having such a minor role...

bumight said...

sure!

Just...Toluwa said...

my chest hurts from laughing. Payint? how razz...lol!

Buttercup said...

Hewo! See my life! So i dey borrow g-string now, eh?? Chai..

LMAO @ chari sayin 'touch ur toes' n invisible buyin the goat with his life savings! Hahahaha!

This was mad funny xsn!! Keep it comin!

exschoolnerd said...

@afrobabe..u harsh oh.make dem beat me? u go see d role wey i go give u next taim

@funms...no worries...we'll do sumthng about that

@fineboy agbero..shebi u feature for chari's story nau...na only u wan feature evrywhere shey?

@woomie...sharrap!

@funkola..chari's is definately razzer..no contest

@toluwa...pele dear..sofly dey laff oh..do u want to be in one of our chari and xsn stories?
@buttercup...sweerat! na only story nau!

badderchic said...

Okay O, as I late come, I go send Sango to faya you!

how dare you reveal to the world that I TIE WRAPPER, no dey open my yansh for the world! lol

this was hilarious, thanks for brightening my day.

Invisible said...

Tigress, what did I do to you? Me take xsn's pata? I'm even going to kill the goat for touching the thing sef and who has been feeding you information? Don't let them deceive you o, I'm the only correct source of info.

Xsn, tigress should spill what? See gbeborun. You better hold your peace, she doesn't have anything to spill o.

exschoolnerd said...

@badderchic..nice to know i did..sweerat!

@invisible ....chai+chineke = chaineke!..see as u just take insult me...sey u 4 kill the goat for touching the thing sef...

aloted said...

OMG...first time here i think..came from Chari's blog..and i am lmao yakati!
u r just too funnyyyyyyy

hehehehe...razzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzness plenty for blogville sha...lol

Buttercup said...

LOL....how about givin me a selzy role next time? *bats eyelids n pouts lips*

Invisible said...

How can I insult you? You sef, no do gbeborun o or else that house no go fit all of us. Na me go scatter ground next.

poeticallytinted said...

"chai! person go see all u ghes, u go rub powder for face finish resemble human being e no go no sey una dey take pant dey do relay."

At this point i was making a thorough fool of myself at work. What?! LMAO. This is too funny.

Okay back to read it again. This time with the right phonetics in place.

Zena said...

lmao, as in ur craze don pass chari own

"leave my wrapper, 300" 300 ko 300 ni,
badderdchic for real u dey borrow g-string?
kai, dis was good, well done XSN

eFJay said...

Buttercup: that one na G-string, we dey talk about payint

ROFLMAO, y'all crazy!

Ef babe

Tigeress said...

Invisible, go ahead and kill the goat- i'll love to eat some 'asun' (spelling?). U're doing shakara- instead of u to beg me to keep quiet.

And go and warn urself o, its TigEress NOT tigress. Dis one dat u've given me name that is not my own- i dont understand.

Xsn, sha dont forget- me i don't need a role- i want to be the producer.

zara (my alter ego) said...

RAMATU'S SECRET??? ROTFLMAO!!!!!!!!!

Kin'shar said...

heyyyyyyyyyy, I would laugh but I couldnt read the language (yuroba) that it was written in. But give me a month....Im learning...lol

exschoolnerd said...

@aloted..welicum to my blog oh..make sure u cum back...

@burracup...selzy ko selzy ni...ull get the opposite of what u ask for

@invisible..u fit? gerraway u!

@poetically tinted...chei P.T cool down oh..make u no go they laff make oga they pass make u mistakenly kick am for groin..abeg o!

@zena and efjay..thnx sweets...do yall want to be part of future xsn n chari stories.

@tigEress...i get the speeling right shey? producer hmmm..lemme consult with chari first..

@zara..sweerat! long time how u been.

@kinshar...its not yoruba actually its pidgin!!!

Buttercup said...

Ahhh y na?? Ok, i dnt want selzy part o..at all at all!

exschoolnerd said...

@ burracup..lol..no worry chari and i will talk ok

olu said...

Funny as fuck though I didn't finish reading it, still gat exams. Bawo?

Kin'shar said...

ok I dont know pidgin either :)

bArOquE said...

i don laugh die, nearly piss for paynt! Xsn this is quite good, i no know say u bush like this oh, as your nyash big reach you dey spread paynyt outside...abeg no kill Invi life savings oh

the part that made me laugh out the most was...

ehn! my goat..wey im dey,ah!how e go dey chew dat kain thing make e no go die oh...ROFLMAO

abeg to be continued when?

bArOquE said...

i don laugh die, nearly piss for paynt! Xsn this is quite good, i no know say u bush like this oh, as your nyash big reach you dey spread paynyt outside...abeg no kill Invi life savings oh

the part that made me laugh out the most was...

ehn! my goat..wey im dey,ah!how e go dey chew dat kain thing make e no go die oh...ROFLMAO

abeg to be continued when?

30+ said...

Honestly Laide you are just toooo meeuuuuuuucccccccccchhhhhhhh.


Your Razzzzzzzzzznnneesssssssssss is on a different planet.

I thought you were talking about Paint until I got to the part of the ladies undressing or somethink.

What kind of water do you drink that causes your imagination to be like this?!

exschoolnerd said...

@30+...na Osa pure water oh!!!!