Tuesday, 4 November 2008

TOASTING TOASTING 123

I want to type a new entry but my back aches from leaning so much on okada's so those sleazy okada men cant cop a feel .as in i hate that stuff..i almost fell off today trying to make sure the stupid okada man's back n my breasts didnt come in contact but he kept entering pot holes.....i mean gosh i cnt even sit to type anything cause my back aches like a muda.infact my whole body aches...instead ill leave u with something i wrote a long while back...



TOASTING TOASTING 1..2...3


Am sure ur wondering why am trying to give u a lecture on how to toast..na u sabi.

i know most of yawl dont want any yeye boi or yeye girl right now cause u dont want since the holiday's are around the corner...dont want anyone making excessive demands like "take me to silverbird! take me to the palms! take me to city mall...i resemble ur papa!...ur papa don take u go there first!..oloju ko ko ro.Anyways am just trying to look ahead..u know next year...this is more like how not to toast a girl and how to toast a girl..

First of all those fools that don't know it's disrespectful to just walk up to a chic on the road and hold her hand and sey "hey baby!"...hells no..where do i know ur hand is coming from...for all i know u might have an unholy alliance with ur balls...and when i fall ur hand u'll start saying "you no even fine sef"....shey u get apolo for eye the time u grab my hand.U no even see as u be sef....u never go check top 10 worwor list sey u dey untop alongside shrek and obasanjo...idiyoot!!!....ok i agree i no fine...but i still dont want ur leprechaun looking ass touching me okay..It's very wrong and disrespectul when u didnt see her on allen road..One money miss road like this was parking his car and wanted to grab my hand...i was like "wetin go cause all that one"...if 2 sey i get small acid for bag now...na another story we go dey talk...one day when u hold nneka the pretty serpent and ur hand no gree comot..na then u go know..

Dey look face-When you see a girl who like she might not be interested in knowing ur legediz benz having ass and if u dont have dough n enough doe in ur bank account...don't approach her(not because she's any higher than u) but cause u urself know the kind of guys she likes...u know sey she don already use her x-ray eyes scope the two ten naira's wey dey ur pocket..why do u want to embarass urself...find someone who u know doesn't have her eyes up in the sky...cause when u approach her and she shoves u into gutter u'll be lamenting...

Dont be calling a girl from afar like how u call a dog shouting like a maniac...."siiiiiii, sister sister!...if u can't walk up to her and talk like a normal human being then just fashi...its embarassing...its annoying and its not just nice.

Now girls like confidence...like a guy that can walk up to her and say "hey what's up,i've been chasing u from maryland(na lie o). to V.I..i saw u before u boarded that bus and even though i have an important meeting i just had to meet u.And boy are u worth the trouble.And me whenever i want something i always go for it and baby i want you"..lol...

you'll see how she'll just start blushing like an ode...well it depends sha...if u resemble cricket she can just hiss and walkaway but if u be fine boi....it's all over.Yes as sad and shallow as it is,looks matter at times.But sometimes confidence can be so sexy looks don even matter so it's worth the try...

Or u can do lil romantic things..request her favorite song when she's listening...just be creative..I know certain naija guys wont know romance if it gave them a flying drop kick...but just think outside the box.

oh yeah another nice way is sending a friend..a.k.a(machinery)..i honestly think its a compliment cause if u think about it the dude is in such awe of u that he couldnt even come himself.Although some girls might think it's wimpy and he lacks confidence so it has its advantages and disadvantages..It happened to me once but instead i acted like a total doufuss...i was feeling like some hotshot..cause i dismissed the guy he sent...and i shouldnt have spoken to him like that..if elt bad afterwards and apologised sha...i was angry the guy he sent was hotter than him sha..i think i just saw him briefly but if i pass him today i can't recognise him..but he'll be like thats the bitch i told i liked that dissed me...am sorry o!

oh the "text admirer thingie"....go thru the pains of getting her number from a friend of hers and finding out some things that she likes (like looking for expo to her heart)and sorta start flirting all the fone...including some of things u've found out about her.It'd be sweet.And then u guys arrange to meet when u feel uv finally goten to know each other a tad bit better...

Arrghh!!! sometimes i wish i was a boy.



there's another annoying things guys do,they'll stand one place and when u pass they'll make a comment.

Like usually when i walk around there's always someone that'll say "i like ur height"...and ill say thank u but in my mind ill be like "ehn be liking it now"....like is that all u got...or "I like big girls" and just walk away....if u want to toast..toast!! stop making side comments up and down.

As for me if u really want to impress me, u just have to humiliate urself a lil,do something like break into a justin timberlake's song and dance routine
"i can see us holding hands,walking on the beach........" .

Not caring who's looking or how stupid u look then and then and i swear i'll just be folowing u...ill even throw my celibacy vow out the window..lol..yeah right....i know some people are giving me the waka sign saying "shey i wan marry u"...those are my terms o...if u no like am...carry urself comot..afterall there are many fishes in the sea..



Well to be serious the key is just to be CREATIVE,CONFINDENT and remember rejection is not the end of the world...It hurts like a muda...but we all need a lil rejection once in a while...lol...happy toasting

29 comments:

olu said...

OK oh! Note taken; not like I'm guilty of the the mentioned offences - well, I'm guilty of one or two, but I wont tell you which.

LOL at siiiii sister sister and the okada saga. Funny as ever.

Naija Idol said...

GADDAM!!!!!!!!!!! when i walk pass people they just whisper certain stuff. mostly stuff like "baby girl wats up?" or same as urs " i like ur height" or "how far" its just so annoying. most of the time, i try to believe im nt the one being refered to.

On point! as usual.

Naija Idol said...

love ur pic btw. its cute!!!

princesa said...

lol@u wishing u were a guy. To toast babe no easy o,lol!

So u don become Teasha?
I like what you are doing with the kids. Will buzz u when i come back to Naija.

InCogNaija said...

toasting for dummies!! lmao!
how about grabbing a girl's butt in the club and saying something nasty like "i'll like to be all up in that"
lol! thats a yankee thing tho...but how about it? lol!

Cappuccine Baby said...

looool i laughed all through this post, you tell them guys abeg! some of their toasting tactics can be sooo..........well, let me not even start sha

exschoolnerd said...

@olu..pray do tell which one u r guilty of...m curious.

@naija idol..thnx dear..

@princesa.no wahala..make sure u have fun oh n rest well well before u come bck.

@incognajia..i wana be all up in wetin..next tin u go hear na kpass!!! rubbish!

@capuccine baby...tell us abeg..let them dudes know so dey cn change...

thenine09 said...

hahaha. totally true and the way u've written it is hilarious! :) i'm not nigerian and not living in nigeria BUT ive got that "baby girl wats up" SO many times! haha. and i dnt even hv to look, i knw its a naija guy! :)

Abujamaiden said...

I HATE THAT CRAP ESPECIALLY IN ABUJA MARKETS!!!! THOSE AGBEROS EEH?

THANKS FOR THE TIPS, IF I WERE A BOY?......

mizchif said...

Tell dem sista!

LusciousRon said...

Guys and their ways! I remember when tejuosho was still thriving! I used to go there with blade - touch me i strike you.
Seriously guys need to step up.
I like the way you put it. It was funny and it rings true.
Well done

CaramelD said...

Toasting is not easy and I try to have mercy on the guy but sometimes you have to give them the look!

Worst sin: Grabbing you from behind on the dancefloor! Not on!

~Sirius~ said...

LMAO, your brain should be frozen, so the future can have access to it for the rest of eternity, how on earth to you write these things.....LOL.

bArOquE said...

...XSN, you must think you're some kinda hottie right?...think again...you've just got big soft breasts & a fluffy face...i will make whatever comment i damn want & when i want it...& HELL NO, i don't be caught dead toasting you...or even speaking to you on the corner...i'll pass...i'd rather give myself a blowjob

...if you like curse me, eh, make GOD punish you too...

ROFLMFAO...i jus wan find your trouble...abeg, no vex too much oh

PS: i dey feel that guy trying to park his car & grab your hand at the same time, my type of guy...LOL

exschoolnerd said...

@thenine09..u r not Nigerian dear..where r u from?




@Abujamaiden....not only those abuja markets oh..come to lagos u will nearly run mad..


@ LusciousRon ..lol at using blade..maybe ill try that..because they dnt hear word...annoying human beings that they r

@CaramelD
yea it really isnt easy oh!

Worst sin: Grabbing you from behind on the dancefloor!

lol..i am just waiting for that to happen to me..i dnt knw wt i will do bt m sure it wont be nice..



@~Sirius~

i ask myself dt question everything sweets..nice idea about freezing my brain..lol


@bArOquE

BAROQUE!! BAROQUE!!! BAROQUE!!!!...how many times i call u...u r "finding" my trouble.and i didnt not hide it well o!..when i read the first four lines of ur comment...i was almost clicking ur link to head to ur blog to cuss u out..till i read the rest....warn urself oh..mchew!!!

Invisible said...

Don't shoot me for this but it sounds like you've been attracting some razz classless boys. lol.

You gave me a workout though - stifling my laughter in class with my prof talking; not easy.

Zena said...

I swear ur crazy, u had me in bursting out in laughter when u mentioned the "wor wor list" I can imagine living in the same house as you, kai

by the way, howz the project going? I was going to tell u there are a lot of ppl u can contact to help out with the stuff

did u get the estimate yet?

Anthony Arojojoye said...

Go and get a man Laide. So if your back starts acheing, he'll rub it for u.
I'm praying you don't fall off the okada one day in the name of safeguarding your twins from unholy alliances.

stuck in my throat o said...

You this girl, you still dey take OKADA???Learn from my own experience o.
You are a beautiful girl, why would you want to be a boy???

Yewande Atanda said...

I 'gbadun' your analysis. It shows u've been in the game for long. Wondering how long your list of toasters would be***wink***

Well, i've learnt something here about guys, especially about the use of mercenery. I hav this guy dat was troubling me for his friend sometimes ago (i think its 2005), but i later fell for the middleman. it led to a fight between the two guys. I later 'fashy' the guy too. Looking back, it hurts me that i didn't go out with dat guy. That guy is now married sha.

Raisins and Rum said...

hehe...i can imagine ure pain...m a new biker too...my legs r almost gone...but we really do need them even if i wish they'd pay more attention to their hygeine and style of "riding"....

soul child said...

this post is so funny,
guys take note...
i hope you visit my blog sometime...i am new...here

Raisins and Rum said...

ITS VERY TRUE ND ALSO WHEN U SNUB THEM THEYD BE LIKE...HOUSEGIRL,...WO WO THING..COMMON GO AND WASH PLATE...URE SO FUNNY...

Osondu Nnamdi Awaraka said...

Na wa for you! I'm still chuckling in the cafe and people turn to stare once in a while. How do you do this? You are talented o! I have to say that again...

Nnamdi said...

Good Job,
I don't have a problem with girls playing difficult. But they miss a lot, they are lots of Guyz out there with good intentions. But never get a chance to say "HI".

Raisins and Rum said...

I hope you don't mind my posting so much.....i just forgot to mention im new here and hope y'all do well to check out my blog when you can...

Yewande Atanda said...

can't help laughing after rereading this post. ha..ha..haa

Buttercup said...

Pele bout the back ache o..

This was really funny! I think confidence is très sexy!

Latifa said...

i found myself a new entertainment channel...

Note 1...must not get on okada!!! the last time i was on it...i ddnt hav boobs! not that ive much now..but il like to protect them. thank u

Note 2...i will need a camera man when i go to Lag...because I will just be lool in some guys face! too mad!!!

i h8 guys who sent my friends to me...argggggggh! we all hav insecurities dude...we r all scared of rejection...worst u ask n i say no!!! i h8 guys that get my num of my friend...why not ask me 4 it...and i h8 guys who grabs my ass in the club! i h8 it so much!!

i dnt even wanna start now!!! il b back...