Saturday, 22 November 2008

What doesn’t kill you, only makes you stronger

As I made my way home last week after teachin practice I stopped to take a bike home, like I usually do…the okada man was like 100 bucks…and I looked at him like…r u on that cheap stuff…u don see mugu, u don see mugu…I told him it was 60 bucks I normally pay..ofe gbaju omo lo mo….anyways he agreed,if he didn’t id just find another okada man…and after that bargain as I sat on the okada I just smiled and was really proud of my self…lol…I was proud because years ago id probably have paid him the 100 bucks or even more, he’ll ask for 100 and ill pay him 120..sugomu rich man’s pikin that I was.

I used to be one of those spoilt kids, I went to five of the best private schools in Nigeria. I had a personal driver when I was 11 and in jss3, Mr Ben. I mean money was spent lavishly and stupidly if I might add…frugality wasn’t in my books or my parents.. it was almost as if they felt…if u have the money spend spend spend, well if daddy had the money, presurrize him to spend spend spend…….not spend wisely..just spend.
I never bothered to price stuff…clothes shopping I always bought the most expensive but horrid looking things…I bought a shirt and skirt for 7500 , and that was like six years ago I mean i am pretty sure it didn’t cost more than 3500 or 4000, my school shoe in ss2 cost 15,000…they were boots…but what did I care, there was money and I was spending, am sorry my daddy was spending.
My father was kind of a big deal back then, every other day he was in the papers, he practically ran one of the leading advertising companies in Nigeria.

Most of my clothes were not bought in Nigeria….I had more clothes than I needed when I was much younger, too many clothes that when relatives came over they stole and I didn’t notice till much later. When I watch “My super sweet sixteen” show on MTV even though it makes me want to hurl, that parents could spoil their children that much and children could be that spoilt. I was once like that and if I weren’t so young then my dad would have probably done all of that and more. Now when I watch the show I am so disgusted by the antics of the drama kings and queens of the show…and I want to reach into the TV and slap them silly. Like wake up!!!!!

I was one of those overprotected kids, I never spent a day in anybody’s house, people always came over, always chauffeur driven, wasn’t allow to use public transport, I had to give like three says notice if I wanted to visit a friend.At home every last staurday of the month we had these lavish five course meals where our chef….chef oh…Mr Ben Ironbar..who later went mad…I don’t know why…used to cook sumptuous meals…I mean there’s nothing this man couldn’t cook…basically we were living the life. The folks traveled every other day,lodged in places like Waldorf Astoria in Newyork, attended parties, drove the nicest cars….We all went to church but not to worship God but to see who was going to out pledge the other today, or gossip about whose father’s car is the nicest…very shallow stuff that shouldn’t really matter.
Whenever we traveled it was always in a convoy, stayed at the best hotels, my dad threw the biggest parties, the biggest of which was when his mother died in Ibadan, it was the party of the year. Daddy had so many friends, Mummy too, she was one of those society women who changed her hair every week and spent her husband’s money buying lace and gold…but my mother worked, she wasn’t just spending money.

I just want you to picture how good it was….
Basically life was good and I have lived the life….


And then it happened.

My dad left his job when I was about 11, there were some problems in his office, certain people ganged up against him and he had to leave, my brothers had already bought all their Betta forms and where ready to go abroad for college but that had to be put on hold.

My dad set up his own advertising company and set up a school for my mother….some of the staff from his fomer company left and joined his company. He was doing very good for the first four years…and then slowly but surely it started going downhill…am not going to go into all that happened but it was a long hard couple of years of trying to survive…I wouldn’t say we were suffering…God still sustained us but our standard of living dropped.

The girl who had a washer man and washing machine suddenly had to wash her clothes, that only lifted a broom in boarding house had to bend down, sweep and do house chores, we had a house help now not a chef anymore. No more personal driver, my brothers filled that position.
The cars reduced from like 9 to like 4, the dogs also reduced lol…No more last Saturday meals, me and my brothers always joked that the song that reminds us about that period was that song by the group Ruff Ends - “No more shopping sprees, no more late night treats, no more doe….”..lol….yes! it was pretty much like that, we went from very comfortable to just average folks, from upper class to middle class…sometimes things got very good but then they’d take a nose dive. All the friends I thought my daddy had were no were to be found, my mother’s friends with whom she formed her own “destiny’s child clique” where too cool to hang out with her. My dad’s company went belly-up…we learnt a lot from what happened but I am sure finding God, was the most important thing we took away from the whole experience, church was no more a chance to show-off, we changed churches and now it was a time to serve God
We became a more close knit family. Had do make do without all the luxuries we had before. Clothes were not bought every Christmas now or whenever we felt like, we had to make do with what we had or an amount that wasn’t quite what we were used to.

When there’s no money, problems always arise…my mom and dad argued every now and then…but it wasn’t anything too serious..the next minute they were all lovey dovey but money used to cause a lot of arguments..I have seen my mum cry, seen my dad sad….i have cried….i know my brothers have!

When I knew it was so bad was when I had to leave school cause my father couldn’t pay 100,000 to complete my school fees, not that he didn’t have the money but if he paid, other important things would suffer, he needed it for the maintenance of the house and I had to understand. My mum’s school was sustaining us but it wasn’t doing as well because there wasn’t any money to advertise and get more buses and attract more parents.

My daddy promised I’d go back to school, and I believed him, cause I believe in my dad, he had never let me down and I had to be understanding and I believe in God,he sees what is happening and he will answer my cries and prayers.

I entered public transport for the first time when I was 19, I would not be staying in my 75,000 naira hostel anymore….i was scared…most of my life id been shielded, I didn’t know how to act, I wasn’t street smart and you could probably tell by looking at me..the first day I entered a bus a girl way younger than me,who lived on my estate held my hand….and showed me the ropes…it was horrible!!!

Its been 11 years since my dad lost his job, 7 years things till got real bad…2 years after I started entering public transport…I am 22 now and I am happy we all went through those harrowing times because we came out stronger, wiser, with a stronger belief in God and his ability to change a person’s situation in a blink of an eye, God doesn’t work on your time, its been 11years, me and my brothers said we were going to sing Daft Punks “one more time” when there was a financial breakthrough!!!
And oh boy we are singing now….God has been wonderful….even though things are a whole lot better now, i have learnt to be a lot wiser with my money, I am less dependent, who would have ever thought that id be happy at the fact that I don’t have to wait for anybody to drive me around, I can do things myself…I call myself pako ajebutter, lol…..i am no longer the terrified girl who dreaded the outside world, who had long been in her cocoon…..
I can handle what life throws at me, cause ive been through a lot and I know with God, things will get better. I don’t spend foolishly anymore..lol..i am not a cheapskate oh..but I will not buy something that looks horrid for 7500, never again..thou shalt not be a mugu again!!!! I don’t believe just cause I have money I must spend spend spend…..i now deliberate on whether I really need it or whether it is worth the price, I am not out to impress anybody anymore…I am thankful for what I went through cause I believe it made me stronger.



I would like to introduce a new blogger,shes a friend and an ex classmate...oh yeah and i pretty fine writerpls check out her blog and give her the whole blogville welcome.... JOURNAL OF LIL WOMAN

49 comments:

simplegal said...

First time here, and will definitely revisit!
This is so touching...I'm happy that you made it through and learned MUCH from you experience!

I'm off to read your older posts...

Temite said...

Glad you learnt something from the hardship you went through. Most people would have blamed their enemies and then promptly go to a vigil to cast out all the evil witches that made it happen. This is a lesson for us all to pay attention to real reasons why things happen to us and to try to learn something from it.

Chukbyke.Okey,C. said...

we continue to learn.........

~Sirius~ said...

*Exhaling........

I choose to pick out a funny part....Boy, i can imagine the brothers singing no more shopping sprees.....totally hilarious.

This is the best combo life can offer anyone.

Miss Definitely Maybe said...

True
what doesnt kill you makes you stronger
but only if you learn from it
its a good thing you did
others would have been blaming their enemies and going to witch doctors and all

NigerianDramaQueen said...

It's funny how you learn who your real friends are when tragedy strikes. But like you said, what doesn't kill you, makes you stronger. You never know how strong you are till you have to weather storms. Im glad you learned, kept your head up and became wiser from all your hard experiences!
Lol@ no more shopping sprees...i cracked up reading that part! Kai this babe I can never leave this blog without laughing.

bumight said...

I'm happy that you can write this with much humor. Even though i know this is serious biz, i was cracking up most of the way.
see how God just saved you from being a bolo! praaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaise the LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORD!!!

PS: like you said, if my workout plan doesn't kill you, it'll make you stronger. so lets hope it doesnt kill u first, LOL!

Naughty Eyes said...

Men! So I made Top 10? *swoons* OK, seriously, this your story made me think oh! I've not yet had my breakthrough too but I'm hoping.
N7500 for a shirt and skirt? Nna meeeennn! I wish I had known you then!

olu said...

I'm moved - really moved. Thanks for sharing this. LOL @ the first paragraph & destiny's child clique.

CaramelD said...

I'm not susrprised how your parents' friends vanished! that's how you know real friends oh!

My dear ride your okada with pride, it shows you can handle whatever life throws at you. That's the making of a real Naija babe!

Ms.O said...

wow that was touching. I am soo happy that you can share this with this much humor right now. Hope your good girly!!

Latifa said...

loooooooooooooooooooool! mehn! u r too funny!! No more by ruff ends..i was listenin to that last nite n daft punk one more time..mehn i miss the 90s n early 00s!

Back to ur note...did u watch the episode where they send the spoilt brats to some crazy place like the amazon...one actually asked her father if ppl in the Brazil rainforoest have seen people b4...loool! Her mum said "They are people!"

I cant call my self a rich kid...but I was sent to best school, had the best clothes etc...the best thing that happened to me, my granny! She was a bit protective but 4 years w/ her was an eye-opener. I get to see the world from a different dimension in Ijebu-Ode...Can u top dat??! Thank God she lives in a proper house with some amenities, it cud have been worst...i cnt use Shalangan...! we had to fetch water from the downstairs taps because water won't comeout from the taps upstairs...it wasnt bad..it was fun, i finally get to play bojuboju...hehehe

Love this write up...keep it up! :D

no shoppin spree, no more late nite creeps, no more vip, no more dough, we cnt even kick no more...hehehe

bArOquE said...

...ow how the mighty hath fallen...at least you have now become a proper human being, & a trouble maker too...pardon me to say Congrats...the fire will only make you out like fine gold

PS: i come curse you well well today sha you just get luck, i just pity you...

LG said...

IT IS WELL

Osondu Nnamdi Awaraka said...

Is this true? If it is, i'm truly happy for you.

Just...Toluwa said...

We fall so we can rise again and be much wiser and stronger than we were before we fell! Am glad u r doing okay...

and did u say u paid 15000 for a pair of boots...omo, u be boti den o!

Iwalewa McDaniels said...

I don't even know what to say. I am glad u came out of it a better person and that the situation brought ur family closer to each other and to God.

Isn't it funny how one's rive of friends dry up when a little problem arises? That's more prove that only God is truly dependable

Kin'shar said...

Sounds like you had it rough...but got through it. You didnt have it so bad though....I neva had a chaueffer

AustynZOGS said...

Touching...
Thank God for you that you never moved from eating Baked beans to agoyin ewa or ration Garri and Epa on 0-0-1 basis.
Keep being strong,Girl!

genius4life said...

am been thru dat road too and i undastand how it felt.. shey u went frm upper class to middle class.. me i went frm middle class to lower class...lol.
Thank God u came out stronger

thenine09 said...

the fact that u pulled through the tough times and make urself stronger is the important part! :)

dhayor said...

All along i've been like ur blogs are really crazy nd stuffs but this really put me back nd got to put things more rightly.Learned from ds piece.lol

aloted said...

thank u for sharing your story...i believe someone will be blessed by this...someone who really needs to read this...

God always works everything out for our good..and i am glad u can see the good out of all of what happened

bArOquE said...

...anytime i see you plump face, i unconsciously picture your behind & considering its likely suppleness it can only be best described as 'bum-bum'...

Hide and Seek said...

so true...what doesnt kill you will only make u stronger and i am sure the experience has made you a stronger person and u have learnt alot from it which is the most important thing.

AlooFar said...

Laide, well done.

Good to know you learnt a great lesson from the ordeal.

... but i don't pity u at all ;)

ibiluv said...

well said........

stronger you are...good for you!!!!!!!

musco said...

d beauty of ur experience is d strength with which u ve bn able to share wit us all!

SOLOMONSYDELLE said...

wow, what a testimony. God is good.

teebay said...

so u fly bikes now? hav u tried dem tricycles yet? i mean keke marwa?
lol!
good for u!

exschoolnerd said...

@teebay! yes i have tried that too o!

Adekunle Shobowale said...

I totally relate. Keep your head up...

azuka said...

Welcome Lil' Woman.

pink-satin said...

wow!!it must have been hard to sdjust to the new life...

N15,000 school sandals!!kai

as you said what doesnt kill you, only makes you stronger! and its in times like this you know your treu friends!

Buttercup said...

R u for real?? My family went through somn similar at some point, its not somn i like to remember but u've just inspired me to blog about it some time.

Thank God u came out stronger!

Funms-the rebirth said...

our experiences make us better and stronger people..........

deola said...

what an experience. this is cute.

Tisha said...

okay
this reminds me of me at 16
i was
more than an aje butter
and the part abt not been
street smart
it has gotten me in trouble several times
used to be arrogant
but now i am no longer
that and i love God pretty much
we got closer to God
and i will not go back to being who i was
even if the devil promised
to erase all the bad experiences
i went through.

Tisha said...

friends disspeared
my parents friends
and i just could not be close to
any of my friends
cos i guess money defined many
of my friendships then
will blog about it soon

Uzezi said...

u ve the spirit for survival, that's all i can say. some will be so mad at life, refuse to understand, hate their parents, blame them and become miscreant.

thank God for your life and ur family.


and guess what, i used to think u were a guy. forgive me. this is my second time here and my first time was cos of what wellsbaba and chari told me of you.

Zena said...

I will continually bless God for making me find blogsville because this is the story of my life I tell you, except my father was in the banking business...You always think you're the only one.....

I must post about this, lol "No more shopping sprees" you ppl are crazy in your family.

zara (my alter ego) said...

wow! what doesnt kill u indeed makes u stronger! hmm.. i can relate to that.. had a similar experience, shud write about it someday!

Yewande Atanda said...

Yes you're correct, whatever doesn't kill only makes one stronger. But that's if one learns from such experience. A person that fails to learn from past experience will still be weak and may likely fall victim of same challenge.

Good one. u always inspire me!

Oyinkansola ...Honeydropz....... said...

First time here and i will be coming back
Your post is so good and i am so happy that you have learned from your past experience

Femi B said...

Wait what happened to the tables?

Anonymous said...

I know your story cos it's mine too! The only difference was that my dad died and then everything turned upside down!

I was about going to d Uk for my A levels and uni but then plans changed and I went to lag. But God is wonderful!! and things are so much better now and I am a much better person! I used to be this arrogrant, stuck up girl who only self worth was Daddy's money but when the money went i had to find myself,and i'm liking myself!!

Itsme! said...

I love this post...
It reminds me of my schooldays and I thank God I wasn't a boarder. To think of the mess and stuph I would have been entangled with, ugh!

I almost cried when I got to the point where you had to leave school. Good thing you're stronger today.

Anonymous said...

u are the bomb.the sky is ur limit,just keep it up
in this 2009 u will have more people viewin ur blog and it will be the talk of the town.....very soon.can see u really enjoyed u sec school and tryin times are bound to happen in peoples life,just depends on the way we handle them
nice one girl

Anonymous said...

This is deep and touching, the point were you had to stop school all because of 100k gave me the shivers. Took me to ur other post in 2006 where you said you quit school y2,1st semester. Im glad you have been able to overcome the pain and anger you felt then.