So the doo-doo brains at the Faculty of Education finally decided to renovate the decrepit edu hall…I swear I was always scared the damn roof was gonna cave in on us during one of our faculty lectures when the hall is packed….stupid people didn’t knw they’d start renovating during the hols so when school starts we’ll have somewhere to use for our faculty courses…ssemester is almost over and they havnt even started real work on it..and it’s the only place that can take us all..so what do the do they move us to one of the Multi purpose halls where they rent for weddings and other events so we gata make do with plastic chairs and tables and it is so friggin hot…they don’t even put on the AC for us…how wicked could they be at least if the place was airy it wouldn’t be that bad.
I have a class now! I am quite early sha…whaaat…last week the chairs and tables were all set up for us but this week the hall con empty…
So man pikin go have to start carrying chair and table from the back..what sort of rubbish is this….mchew!!!!
I better gaan carry one for me and that foolish gurl yinka that is always late..iv told her she’ll be late for her wedding too…chei I have to walk infront of all this people with this my vibrating buttcheeks..….this one wey Igo wear thong 2day… …m feeling so self conscious..lol…but it was d only thing I cud wear with these pants…these sesky looking pants…
I grab 2 chairs after squeezing through the crowd and find a space to set it…now a table…chei how do I safe guard these chairs now…ill just put my bag on it…shud i? wat if dem steal am…no dey wont…how I go do am now…if dat stewpid gurl was around this wud have been easier…
I see this boi that I greeted earlier, we r just watcup..how u dey friend..cause me no won take am further..he stays on the street near mine…I see him coming my way with a table…ope o! maybe he wants us to share…
O boy just carry the table pass me! ..mcheeeeeeeeeeew!!!!! chei and I had that look on my face like I was expecting him to put it infront of me..he must have been thinking…ode! No go carry ur own table…shet! I will treat his fuck up! He cant even be a gentleman and give me his own table..
There is no problem ill gaan get mine,,vibrating buttcheeks or not…so na this small space all of us go pass with our chairs and tables …okay I fit pass mine through the windows…I’ll pass it to some bois inside and ill go in and carry it….but m scared by the time I enter some people feeling smart with themselves go just take am….gotta get in fast! oya move now!!..excuse me!!! Plix the leg of ur chair is poking my side…carry this thing up now…some people don’t have sense I swear!…enter!!!!..chei! they’ll take my table oh..plsss!!! move…phew! Finally…
Now to get my…..
Table…where is my table..i see two barawos walking off wt it…
Where are u carrying that table to!
Excuse me! Excuse me!
Be acting like u cant hear me oh! I will collect that table today…
Excuse me that’s my table….they turn around smiling…who dey smile with u…if I chook u this biro ehn…
That’s my table!
“Can we share with u?” one of the heediot asks…
I dirrin even look at him…oloriburuku….after I suffer go carry table for outside….una one gbaju me…
“I am not sitting here I told the maloo and grabbed my table from the two fools…agbaya oshi’s a gurl went to carry table outside u two elede’s siddown jaburata dey wait steal her table…thunda strike that u and that ur trouser wey dey fear ground…con gimme my thing jare….
I went thru the arduous task of carrying the table to the back…I was scared my bag was gone but found it but with only one chair!! Why do sum people always feel they r fast and smart….
The person that stole that chair will have pile for 3 weeks…morrafucka! I didn’t wake up by 6:30 to get here early n secure a sit so one fool will take it…wo I cant get another chair wen that perpetual latecomer of a friend called yinka comes she’ll find chair for herself…if not…I no go meet this table!
Pls sister can I share table with u
I turn around and see this dude!
U cant gaan carry ur own ni…see as person dress fine finish con dey carry chair n table they sweat like ram…gaan suffer ur own too..but I said
“ well am sharing it with someone but u can sha manage”
This lecturer can dictate note sha…wrist don dey pain person…this is the fifth page already…chai…shey I no 4 do sex education instead….as in…u know…that one would have been sweet..who no go pass…who no go attend class…am sure that’s one of the courses people pass a lot…why o why wasn’t it one of my required courses…instead!!!
Gosh this permanent frapas called a thong is very annoying…all because of VPL oh!(visible panty line) .shey VPL don kill person before..abi if I get VPL I go go hell…never again…this is the last time I put myself thru torture..i don get new catapult!
(*Frapas- when ur panties slip in between ur buttcheeks and become uncomfortable
This guy can like to stop asking questions so this lecturer can leave…ahan wat is it..whenever it feels like the lecturer wan comot im go raise hand
“Scuss me ma!”
and no be sey na queshun wey get sense im dey ask o!
upon all the suffer suffer I do for that yeye yinka she go siddon sumwer else…
Hmm I got a text! From my ashawo friend…we don dey send rubbish rubbish messages ooh!! Na im even put me for trouble wey I go mistakenly send my reply to popcy’s fone..
Popcy for call me…cane in one hand…bowl of pepper in the other….oya off pant and lie down here…shey this is what I sent u to school to be doin shey..u go tell me when u turn puff puff wey u want make person dey eat u..oniranu omo oshi…
But as God wil have it(gosh that is such a Nigerian line) the next day popcy fone get small madness…my ashawo friend sey the fone no fit handle the kind ashawo text im receive…lol..na so my papa com hand me the fone the next day sey make I look am…me wey don dey dream of how I go enter im room steal d fone n delete the text…cause I no sey popcy no dey bother read im msgs im go just think sey na from INzain…im just deliver am for my hand..i swear God works in mysterious ways!
I am going to do sumthing for us this yeye gurls wey no sabi close yansh…if to sey the camera for this fone no get brain touch…I go dey take ..compile am…print am out….and post am for notice board “Can u identify your butt crack”..i mean why would u buy a trouser that’s clearly not ur freaking size n wen u sit down all ur butt go jus spill out they assault the eyes of other people….if na fine butt crack at least we no go too angry but not dis…lapa lapa infested dirty looking ones..some gurls just don’t have sense…...dey gv ur self wahala..all in d name of wearing low waist jeans…
So dese gurl even dey do this course……no be im and im friends wey me and yinka jam yesterday for were we go chop…chei JENIFA has nothing on these chics...very uncouth set of gurls…see as dem turn the place to market yesterday…
“silifat I go shop hout hof ur rize hooo!!!. U go shop wetin?….na so dem start to dey fight for the food..they use spoon dey knack plate dey beg each other for food…as in some people just don’t know how to shut up and behave in public places….one of them just they tabon like no 2morrow…”you know am a fine babes!” she said it like 3 times I almost chocked on my meat…na wa o….na so so SULIAT’s AYE TORO KAN’S full UNILAG…dey pretend like JENIFA’S….dont be fooled by how dey look oh..make dem just open mouth…u go fear tabon!
Lecturer is asking if we are tired!
Yes we are tired ma! Can we go now..there r some curries that need 2 b scoped…
Lol….she still dey dictate ooh!!!
Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaawns! Gosh my 200 level lecturers were so interesting…plus I could get my fine boi scoping on…e be like sey everybody don dey ugly…where r all d fine bois now.....ok spotted one…chei! dey used 2 b everywhere…..
I cant scope fine bois
Lecture is borin
Not taking sex education
My wrists are about to collapse
My friend is sumwer else so we cant gossip
I don’t have credit to text my ashawo friend
….could this day be any more horrid….
Yes it can…I just found out this is a two hour lecture not one!