Tuesday, 19 May 2009

Thoughts in my head before and during a class…

Hate the fact that I have to wake up by 6:30 every friggin day so annoying,didnt sleep till like 4:30...was doin i love u talk ur own with sweetrat!…i need to boil water, shet! No kerosense…I cant fit to bath with that cold water…I swear I cant..abi I go just do rub and shine go class ni yen! Hol mai side through out the day make pesin no go misyarn sey I dey smell…gosh id feel terribly uncomfortable…but that cold water….noooooo!!!! which kain Monday morning dilemma be this nau..lemme gaan beg Mr Kunle to put on the gen for 5 minutes.

Gen’s on…gata boil water sharply! Hace hace! Don’t try that ruff play will u put that kettle down do u know what I had to do to get Mr. Kunle to put on the gen? stop that!...ok nothing dirty…I jus promised to buy a bag of water from him…is it beans!

Ooooooh this is what I hate, when I plan to wear something and then in the morning it just looks so wrong…these flared pants make me look lik pesin wey get elephantiasis and that bish justina says it makes me look like I have a dick, now I have to look for something else to wear…I hate this I swear…its 7:20…to think I woke up by 6:30…

Finally decide on something to wear, grab my bag and start stuffing it phones, ipod..money..wat am I forgetting, oh yeah lip gloss, hair brush…wat else…my hanky….eh I think m forgetting something…biros? Mirror? ……boooooks…ode oshi..u forget ur notes!!! Please don’t blame me jare…a girl has got a lot on her mind…like which ring to wear today.

Ok am leaving now…7:35..ill just fly bike..would be in school in no time..wer r all those bloody okada riders wen u need them…

Okada!...shit! hausa dude!

Erm..Unilag gate

Okada rider: 150

Me: ur head like 150,u no talk 250? For gate for here…wey be 40 naira…u know the place wey I dey talk about sef

Okada rider: okay pay 120

Me: con carry yourself comot jare! Oloshi…no be only 120….

Abeg lemme walk to the junction jare and get a bike!

Yeeeeeeeee!!! What is this again….my slippers has cut…I so so so hate this…what to do! What to do..this is so so embarrassing…and its because of the multitude of people that wear it with me oh..i know what ill be doing now..when I put padlock on my slippers yesterday they said ive come again…as silly as it looks…it stops anyone from wearing it…need to reach that shoemaker at the junction…hw I go tk walk now…abeg jare! Make I vex hol the slippers and waka barefoot…after I dress fine finish…shet! This is not a good day for omo girl..but I understand God does things like this to humble us beautiful people..u know..embarass us a lil and bring us down to earth…lol…I must look a sight..who cares anyways!

I wonder what people would think if I just stretched out my hands and just started shouting ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh on this okada….i really want to do it…I mean the wind is blowing in my hair….feels like I got no worries..i just want to shout…but mehn this na naija o! okada man sef go take hin helmet knack my head.

Gosh and I thought I was early…class is for 8:00 and its 7:50 and its this full…some people sha…abi dem wan help sweep the hall..mcheeew!!

Gata get a seat, gata get a seat….and a table too…and a seat for that ram dey call yinka dat can’t be on time to save her life…I tire for that girl I swear..

Lecturer’s not around yet…listening to my ipod…early momo like dis pesin dey listen to ‘doing it’…na so d think dey hook me..talking about things hooking me..lemme text mai sweetrat!!! I remember our rhyming/freestling battle with text messages yesterday..lol..and I murdered his ass..i can remember one of my lines ‘I am fresher than a baby’s bombom’ lol!! And then he said something about lyrically clearing up my mouth like tomtom…lol…twas fun! Lemme ask the bugger what he’s doing..probably staring at my picture and wanking..lol..…probably in class…and hating it just like I am right now…miss him so much..ud think he was in far away obodoyibo oh…bt still d distance is killing..cant wait for may 31st!

Yinka’s still not around…oh no! he’s coming this way…our eyes met…no pls..dont come..this bombastic element of an ex-friend ive been trying to avoid..the boy is so annoying…u know when sum1 feels like he’s the coolest thing since (whats cool now) and he is most definitely not…pls don’t bring your yellow-pawpawrized self here jare…with ur ‘I Love New York’ shirt and go-slow bones! Ooooooh he’s coming. Oh my and what in the jerry curled mess is that on his head?

Laide baby!!! Was popping chic?

Segun how far?

We need to yarn ooh!! As in am doing big things now…I need to see you.

*acts bored*

Ok!

Laide baby! ….quit calling me that fucktard!

Laide baby! ..doesnt this mumu have anything to say but that!

Laide baby! Apparently not!

Akward silence…

I really have nothing to talk to him about..he has obviously forgotten what he did…

Thank God! Yinka’s around…

Says hi to Yinka!

Yinka doesn’t answer….hehehehe….

Okay laide baby! Ama ri ra!

Ok ok!!!

See as this one dey greet pesin..abeg put ur hand down..u must be foolish did I beg u to greet me..if u cant greet me like a normal pesin..dont greet me again…they greet me like pesin like sey I get leprosy..am tired of these unilag people..this pesin dt lives near my street..wan con form for me for here…next time…

Oh my days…only in unilag will u see scary ass hair styles like dis one….i am so tempted to go over and pound her weavon in place…looks like the middle of her head has a hard on..it rises like a mountain..its the strangest thing..ever…I am so itching to go and press it down! Mirror! That’s what most girls need in this school…a friggin mirror that speaks the truth…we’ll have less ojuju calabar’s parading themselves as bigz girl..nonesense and rubbish…..pesin go take eye pencil draw eyebrow wey reach the end of im ear..i mean..gosh!!!...lol…see the kain scary ass shit I gata deal with on the daily…and her friend is gisting with her and cant tell her o!

My note is not complete o! this dude’s note looks like it might be..lemme ask him..he’s talking to some chic…

Excuse me! I say sorry to the chic.. Pls can I borrow ur 402 note ?

Come again!

Ur note! Ur note! Before u start to dey look like ajamilokpa!

…can I pls copy ur note before the lecturer comes.

Thnx!

shuooo shebi I said sorry wen I interrupted him and this heffer’s conversation why she con dey eye me..na ur boyfriend..dont worry I am not interested..even if u dash me..i no go collect..so save your eye rolling for sum1 else!

Lecturer is finally around and blabbing bout why she’s late!

Dreaming, thinking, fantasizing of you, I cant stop thinking of u even as I sit in class, I cant even comprehend what the lecturer is yakking about..all I can think of is ur chocolate coloured skin….i can taste you in my mouth already…I long for you, for your taste, to feel you in my mouth…as u slowly enter inside me, I have craved you for many days, many nites and I just found out where u are,,I cant hold myself any longer..i need to have you..need you to fill me up…make me satisfied…satisy my hunger for u….oh dear ewa agoyin and bread….i cant wait for this class to be over so I can eat u up…

33 comments:

Miss Natural said...

wow took you a while!! finally, glad to read you again :)

Miss Natural said...

wow what a day...lmao @ the dick hahaha, the crazy taxi driver...u should have done it, it's a free world, just raise your hand to the sky and let loose. lol love wantin tin haha, i'm liking it that you're loving it. hmm that's some hot erotica u posted at the end lol, so that's how he makes u feel :) lol

Rose said...

Feel you on the Cold water thing...I can't bring myself to try it...No matter how much i convince myself that it's more refreshing than Hot water....Your thoughts are Crazy...Enjoyed reading this...

Bibi said...

Lmao. I think u have to be the best thoughts-in-head writer I have ever read. U are really good. As for the slipper when cut, u sure that okada man nor use jazz for u bcos u nor gree enter he bike? lol. Ewa and bread, mehn I envy u say na lag u dey stay jare. Very entertaining post. Luv it!

CaramelD said...

Chai Laide, God bless you dearie. I am having the grumpiest of days and your post was just what the doctor ordered! Padlocking slippers, over drawn eyebrows and masquerade weaves! Only you oh!

I can see your man is working his magic on you already (ohhhhh).

flabby said...

please- no matter how u write ewa and bread!! is lie!is boy!x

pink-satin said...

lol!!!chocolate colored skin = ewa agoyin...u not serious!

Woomie O! said...

Number 7? Not bad ei?

Were ni e o!
Maybe that guy is really doing big things.hehehehe.
Na food go kill you.

BDW, what happened to our date sef?

SOLOMONSYDELLE said...

"looks like the middle of her head has a hard on"

!!!

Sweet baby Jesus! I'm done.

lol!

exschoolnerd said...

@lol..miss natural..re-read the last bit again..i was actually gushing about BEANS!!!

@ROSE...u too cant fit to baff with cold water..i cant bring myself to i swear!

@Bibi..e fit be dat yeye okada man o! cause the way i take dismiss am ehn...am sure e vex small.thnx for reading dear!

@caramel...ayah..nice to have brightened up u day anyway i can...lol..why does everyone think am talking bout a man at the end..am very sure i put ewa agoyin dere..anyways ewa agoyin is a type of beans..food o!

@flabby...lol...f'real na ewa..no be boy..if na boy i for talk am!

@pink-satin...hehehe...u just noticing?

@woomie..u r the one dat slacked nau..wer u nt supposed to treat moi to a movie?? mcheeeew...c ur head..berra call me up n lemme know wen we r going.

Miss Natural said...

lol lol lol oops, u know its not our fault..it's that thing the brain does when its already translated stuff before its finished absorbing it. lol...ok I know how you feel about beans, that's how I feel when I take hot showers...it feels orgasmic lol

simeone said...

rotf...lol you are crazy hilariuos....dont know what else to say..

OPTIMISTIC_alyzzz said...

seriously was dat really your day or is that fiction!!!

hmmm ur mind really must be in full swing.

Sir Scribbles II said...

What is this I see? A post? finally? Laide! Laide!! Laide!!! how many times did I call you? Pple say I'm crazy but the next time someone does I'll just give them a link to ur blog. So na so ur mind dey work 4 class? lol..I like d post sha!

chayoma said...

Laide, make i join Optimist ask u. was that truly the way ya day turned out?
shoo,,,"okada man sef go take him helmet knack my head". lol! you are too much i tell you...
But seriously na beans you dey yarn abt like this abi na ur man....abeg joo we all knw say the guy don do a number on ya...lol

Tay-mee said...

lmaoo..you ma'am are just too much jokes for me ahn ahn..so you really and truly walked around Lagos bare footed..lol

and you shuda shouted on the bike now, shey u'll just find urself at yaba left..no biggie..lol

LusciousRon said...

You this Laide girl will not kill me! Hope you copied a full note this time around.

The Girl with the Red Hair said...

Lol, Girl this is really funny.
You have got some serious head writing going on in there. Those unilag girls need to have their head checked my a fashion doctor, they never stop to amaze me. Thanks for stopping buy and you must really love ewa and bread for you to dream of it in class during lectures.

Beulah! said...

Oh God! this Laide girl, u won't kill me with ur posts. They always brighten up my day. I was laffing as i was reading that my colleagues thot something was wrong with me. What?...."screaming on top of okada and ....." that part totally cracked me up.

U are too funny!!

SHE said...

LOL !!!

LOL !!!

LOL !!!

Naughty Eyes said...

Kai!!!! After a bad day, I ended up reading this...
Abeg, make I go read am again!

PS: You and bobo dey do freestyle SMSing? MTN don chop money tire...

Griffin said...

babe you try oh, as you don wear all your fine cloth, unilag bigz girl like you come dey waka bare foot around akoka? na wah oh! now that you mentioned Ewa Aoyin i'm craving it badly, its actually an extinct delicacy here in abuja...... Complete you note oh...lol

LG said...

buhahahahahahahahaha just forwarded dis to ur *veecee' shebi na unilagz u dey? :-)

olu said...

"I go just do rub and shine go class ni yen"

"but I understand God does things like this to humble us beautiful people..u know..embarass us a lil and bring us down to earth"

"looks like the middle of her head has a hard on"

Omo, you're the ish. I don laff tire.

~Sirius~ said...

LMAO!

Typical you...

Hmmm, so this our Bobo....*cough cough, what's his P?(you know my ears are scratching for gist)

Before May 31st reaches because nobody will see your brake light here again- all bcos of man!

He had beeter be on point, if not blogsville will take him down!

Ps: Does he read your blog?
Abeg, before I put my hand in hot okro soup.

Qube The Wordsmith said...

Blog wifey!!! U finally put off textin him long enuff to post eh? We go love oh...

why do u n Justie go @ each other lk dat? 'makes me look lik i hav a dick'. LMAO...

Sirius I gat d 411 on HIM...contact me n i'll send u my acct details...sori bt u gotta pay for info lik dis...

Tyger said...

lmao takiti

your post just rolls along... yarning your thing! very okay business really

lol

and the dick part in your pant cracks me up! lol

Kenn-Knotty said...

Laide! you go say you don catch mugus na abi? No be only ewa and bread...na bread and gesha. The post is about a silent longing for male intimacy, abeg no shade am,.

Kenn-Knotty said...

...But I sha like the post, with all that 9ja flavour. Mennnn! UNILAG babes and their fashion sense na die...I say na die! Good you noticed it urself.

exschoolnerd said...

@ms natural..i understand jare.


@simeone ..u don say enuff already!



@OPTIMISTIC_alyzzz..that was mai day oh..u shud spend a day in mai mind dear...ud be shocked/surprised/wowed..its laik a whole another world in there.


@Sir Scribbles II ..shattap!! wt do u mean by that..shey because i don dey slack on my blogging/dnt worry m hoping to get mai mojo back...u know u r crazy scribbs!




@chayoma ..na si mai day be ooh..i guess i just knoow how to put it into words in such a way that extremely lively and exciting...

@Tay-mee ..no be around lagos oooh...near mai hostel around unilag..lagos ke...them go just carry me go yaba left tru tru.


@LusciousRon..i havnt finish copying the note o!! i don tire jare.man pikin wan rest.

@The Girl with the Red Hair...sweerat! mai love for ewa agoyin i cant explain...yelz o! dose unilag girls...dey need help! wish i can tk pics for yall bt i no want mk anyone dash me blow.



@Beulah! ...awww dear...nice to know i brighten up ur day in the lil way i can.

@SHE..this ur laff dey serious o!..thnx for stopping by dear.



@Naughty Eyes ...na zain don chop money o...i don send over 700 text msg..call yanfu yanfu n na only to one purzon!

@Griffin ..alzin u know now..big girl laik me..dey wan reduce mai social g.p mai enemies...chai! God dey! i no copy d note finish o! hand dey pain me..mk i send agoyin to u?


@LG ah....LG no try am o!!! if not we go turn blogville to WWF!


@olu ...olu how far how u dey njoy the 2week hols?


@~Sirius~
u and who wan take am down..abeg o! liff am for me o...hes on point for me o! i dont know about una o!

@Qube The Wordsmith ..dont mind that olobo suga dey call justina...she no get work...u gat the 411 on who?if i tear u slap.



@Tyger ..that shit isnt funny o! how do i explain it now...i dont think its the pants..i think its mai...


@Kenn-Knotty....ahan Ken na beans i dey gush about tru tru...no be man o! na una don dey put tots inside mai head nau..no make i start wt unilag girls and their wahala.

Anonymous said...

ehn ehn ehn laide nigbawo ni gbo gbo eleyi bere? LMAOOOO

You don grow oh. Nice to have found you blogging again.

An oldie from Xanga Yen......

StandTall-The Activist said...

will you be back already! You are tougher and stronger than any situation, pls be back.



"I’ve learnt how to view people for who they are and never let religion and nationality cloud my judgment. I think it’s also made me very open-minded and humble..." Adaeze says on her Interview on my blog. Visit and drop your comment!

Uche said...

LMAO!!!