Tuesday, 22 September 2009
WHEN FACEBOOK CAUGHT ME IN BED WITH TWITTER.
Facebook: whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat laide how could yu, hw cud u?
laide: *shocked* i..i....i am sorry
facebook: How could you and in our bed laide...how could u?
laide: there was no other place we could use.
facebook: and with him...with him..oh laide u break my heart,with him...
laide: facebook pls calm down pls...i..i...dont know what came over me
(laide moves to touch facebook)
facebook: Get away from me, u cheating bitch....and i loved you...didnt i love you
and you this bastard just lying there
(rushes towards twitter and rabs his neck while laide tries to seperate them)
facebook: let me kill that bastard....
laide: no please dont, dont! i love him too!!
facebook and twitter: you what?(both say)
laide: i love you twitter, i know its only been a month, but i love you, am addicted to you, i wake up and i think of you, before i sleep u are on my mind...but facebook i still love you, but i just got tired.
facebook: tired of what? didnt i give you everything u wanted..
laide: you did, but u were just too complicated, u talked too much, asked too many questions what sexualposition do i like? what inanimate object will i be in a afterlife,what percentage is my swagger? are you smarter than a kolanut, what perfume will my mess smell like...i mean just too many...too many long things with you, i got really tired.
facebook: but..but... i tot u loved it.
laide: at first i did,but the events oh my gawd..they drove me crazy....how many events can a human being attend...so many of your friends wanting to hug me, do all sorts to me..i am not into that mahn!twitter..well he is less complicated...so simple...so smooth..doesnt talk alot 140 characters per speech...listens to me...i mean thats what every girl needs..
facebook: you bastard! (to twitter)
twitter: you had her for a while, now its my turn to possess this beautiful body and worship it.
laide: I love it when you talk like that baby.
twitter: RT: I love it when you talk like that baby * i love you *
laide: awww!!! muah muah muah
facebook: the both of you deserve each other...u both disgust me.
laide: facebook i know u hate me, but i still love u...u just weren't giving me all that i needed
4rm the relationship..
facebook: wasnt the sex good?
laide: it was but twitsex was more exciting!!! he paid attention to my needs and got me tweeting all nite long!!!
facebook: (trying hard not to cry) i gave u everything, every fucking thing..i put ur name in the lights...i gave u a platform to showcase ur self, ur talent to the world, got u so many friends.....and this is the thanks i get?
laide: (crying) i feel horrible, i feel like the meanest bitch that ever lived and truly i love you...and i still want to be with you..but m confused...
facebook: i can laide! i can....i can be all you want me to be..you dont have to downgrade to this glorified facebook status.
twitter: Downgrade!!! i am most definately an upgrade from u!
facebook: Shut up! before i put my foot up ur birdy ass! you know i can.i know people in the mafia.
twitter: oooooooh am so scared...big mr facebook is gonna come after me..ooooh am peeing in my pants..
facebook: oh my god you left me for this...for this gay fish..i am the best you've ever had and...
twitter: I'm sorry to interrupt and immaletufinish but myspace was the best she ever had...
(facebook punches twitter)
laide: stop please...stop!
facebook: you know what i dont need this you need to choose now...i am not gonna be like that fool..whatshisface hi5 yeah, that confused fellow u just left hanging after u used him for all those years..whats it gonna be...are u in or r u out?
twitter: you were with hi5? sheeeeeet! baby yu get around...friendster too?
twitter: oh my! you didnt tell me all this..i only know about myspace..are there others?
twitter: Gaddemit! hope u dont gat no SNHTD'S ..social network hopping transmitted disease..
facebook: Look i still want you, u and me baby we perfect together..u the best i ever had baby.the best...and i dont want to lose you to this gay fish..
facebook: whatever..u still gay!
twitter: *sticks out tongue*
facebook:so whats it gonna be laide..u with me?
laide: am confused, i love the both of you..
twitter: you gata choose baby...u gata!
laide:i cant...i cant..if i cant have you both then ama just leave...i gave someone real special
for both of u....i just hope he'll take me back...
facebook: baby dont do this...pls..we can still kick it..u dont have to go..'
twitter: wait! there's somebody else? i been twitsexing with some social network whore...
(gbese! another punch on twitter's face)
twitter: what the fuck is wrong with u? y r u so violent?
facebook: you callin my girl a whore..u bastard!
twitter: shes about to leave both of us for someone else you fool...
facebook: is that true...are u really gonna break my heart?
laide: am sorry facebook...i cant make a decision...
facebook: so who is this bloke..telll me i want to know...
his name is blogger!
twitter: fuck it! my cousin!