Friday, 8 January 2010
Dear Abdul Umar Farouk ‘underwear bomber’ Mutallab,
Hi u, good (whatever time of the day this letter meets you) hope u slept well or have been sleeping well.. I haven’t. I keep having nightmares of people shoving their gloved hands inside my vjayjay looking for bomb… *shudders* ..it is very scary I tell you…and its all your fault u know.. u cute underwear bomber u.
Underwear bomber..haha u see ur life? Shey na d name ur papa give u be that..smh...…oloju wonko wonko, pesin wey dem give everything wey no go siddown do something with im life.
How are you sha? Hows prison life in Michigan? Seen any of your terrorist friends? The ones who got you into this mess you are in now? NO? wait first…. *IN TOI*….your eye don clear now shebi.
I have known a lot of horny bastards in my days but u take the cake, I read about your postings on the net before the event and i quote
"As i get lonely, the natural sexual drive awakens and i struggle to control it, sometimes leading to minor sinful activities like not lowering the gaze [in the presence of unveiled women]. And this problem makes me want to get married to avoid getting aroused"
I mean did u have to go to heaven (in ur mind) to get some?? U probably heard 40 virgins and where like sign me up…sheesh..horny much?
I pity u… na hell u for meet yourself..na hitler and idi amin go dey service u…dem go use u do setting.
Hitler Mondays to Wednesdays… idi amin Wednesdays to Fridays… Saturdays and Sundays the devil will take over...
Abacha on public holidays.
You be fine boy na? Albeit fine boy olodo… but fine boy all the same.. do you know how many girls would have given an arm and leg…some of em on twitter sef to get with you….what the fuck is wrong with you?
No really what the fuck is wrong with you… Lord knows how much I wish my words could just reach up and give you a dirty blow , slap that your silly face…n then kick u in the groin repeatedly…for putting us on every news channel in the friggin world, for adding terrorist to our list of wrongs.. u should be ashamed of your self.
It wasn’t okay that we were labeled 419ers, now we are terrorists too? U gata be kidding me… next thing Oprah’s gonna do a show about us being terrorists.. u just wait.
Your lonely said u were, u never had any real friends, nobody to confide, that’s what you said about ur days in London. Daddy didn’t give you enough attention? If we all decide to become suicide bombers because we are lonely or are not getting attention from certain people or some other stooopid ass reason… people would be dying rapata!!
You got the best education, you travelled around the world at will.. you were one of them silver spoon babies..the fuck entered your head? Or perharps who?
I mean I changed the channel to FOX news on that faithful day expecting to hear Glen Becks loud migraine giving voice…and next I see is Nigerian held in an attempt to blow up plane….like fucking hell not a Nigerian.. like why a Nigerian..whyyyyyyyyyy?????? why anybody sef…
why didn’t you just sit your atole ass down in your lovely London apartment, being a good muslim boy, fantasizing about girls you couldn’t have.. why o why…. Did you have to bring shame to Naija.. as in..serious doti-ing of our already soiled name.
In the words of daddy showkey “somebody tun le se, somebody da le ru’…..
We here tryna change the world’s perception of Nigeria, but you’ve successfully undermined the rebranding challenge….you taken us back to where we were before…
infact u r mad!
I have been mincing words since but you are mad..u just have to be.wayray ni e sha… u still get mouth shey? … you bloody fool… ur eye go still open…
Ah I wish u can just spend one year out of your prison sentence in iddo prison for naija…. With four foot prisons filled with dirty yucky water… just one year…make all your leg peel first…. American still dey okay… na naija prison fit your kind..u bloody scallywag.
You are no Nigerian!
Do u know how hard getting a visa would be now..or what Nigerians will be subjected to at airports..do you?
Something like this? Or worse sef
They will have their hands so far down our asses…we wont know what hit us.. all because of YOU.
Pesin like me wey never take eye see obodoyinbo when I finally say make I go, e go come hard me…Wetin concern me, concern to go blow up plane.. I don chop belleful ni wey I go put bomb for my payint tlk sey I wan go blow up plane..blow up plane? Fun kini? 40 virgins in heaven..they can keep them!
wetin concern them Americans concern wether I put or not put explosives for payint? dem know me from adam.. na to subject me to the harrowing airport searches and scrutiny just because I am Nigerian!
Thunder fire you for there!
You’re a star u know, u have become very famous.. everybody knows u…not so lonely anymore right… wrong u fool.. u r known for all the wrong reasons. You are no Hero, your muslim counterparts have condemned your foolish acts, except the ones that are like you who would eventually meet the same fate as you.
Do you know what the new name for absolutely stupid spoilt idiot is…yes u got it right – Mutallab…
Mutallab can be used for anything that means
Stupid, spoilt, useless, dumb, suicide bomber, troublesome, someone who brings shame to others/his country ..name it..
No ones says ‘you are stupid anymore’ they just say ‘u be muttallab’
Why are u such a mutallabish child?
He pulled a mutallab!
You catch my drift? U bloody mutallab! no pun intended.
Of everything I feel for u I pity you the most.. I feel very sorry for you. Ur loneliness continues… too bad you had to mix with the wrong people, too bad you let them put radical ideas in ur head, too bad you decided to blow up a plane on xmas day, too bad the rest of the Nigerians have to suffer because of your stupid acts……its just too bad.smh
Oh yea about getting laid… am sure the kind folks in prison will be sure to sort u out.too bad!