Friday, 8 January 2010

Dear Abdul Umar Farouk ‘underwear bomber’ Mutallab,




Hi u, good (whatever time of the day this letter meets you) hope u slept well or have been sleeping well.. I haven’t. I keep having nightmares of people shoving their gloved hands inside my vjayjay looking for bomb… *shudders* ..it is very scary I tell you…and its all your fault u know.. u cute underwear bomber u.


Underwear bomber..haha u see ur life? Shey na d name ur papa give u be that..smh...…oloju wonko wonko, pesin wey dem give everything wey no go siddown do something with im life.

How are you sha? Hows prison life in Michigan? Seen any of your terrorist friends? The ones who got you into this mess you are in now? NO? wait first…. *IN TOI*….your eye don clear now shebi.

I have known a lot of horny bastards in my days but u take the cake, I read about your postings on the net before the event and i quote

"As i get lonely, the natural sexual drive awakens and i struggle to control it, sometimes leading to minor sinful activities like not lowering the gaze [in the presence of unveiled women]. And this problem makes me want to get married to avoid getting aroused"



I mean did u have to go to heaven (in ur mind) to get some?? U probably heard 40 virgins and where like sign me up…sheesh..horny much?

I pity u… na hell u for meet yourself..na hitler and idi amin go dey service u…dem go use u do setting.

Hitler Mondays to Wednesdays… idi amin Wednesdays to Fridays… Saturdays and Sundays the devil will take over...

Abacha on public holidays.

You be fine boy na? Albeit fine boy olodo… but fine boy all the same.. do you know how many girls would have given an arm and leg…some of em on twitter sef to get with you….what the fuck is wrong with you?

No really what the fuck is wrong with you… Lord knows how much I wish my words could just reach up and give you a dirty blow , slap that your silly face…n then kick u in the groin repeatedly…for putting us on every news channel in the friggin world, for adding terrorist to our list of wrongs.. u should be ashamed of your self.

It wasn’t okay that we were labeled 419ers, now we are terrorists too? U gata be kidding me… next thing Oprah’s gonna do a show about us being terrorists.. u just wait.

Your lonely said u were, u never had any real friends, nobody to confide, that’s what you said about ur days in London. Daddy didn’t give you enough attention? If we all decide to become suicide bombers because we are lonely or are not getting attention from certain people or some other stooopid ass reason… people would be dying rapata!!

You got the best education, you travelled around the world at will.. you were one of them silver spoon babies..the fuck entered your head? Or perharps who?


I mean I changed the channel to FOX news on that faithful day expecting to hear Glen Becks loud migraine giving voice…and next I see is Nigerian held in an attempt to blow up plane….like fucking hell not a Nigerian.. like why a Nigerian..whyyyyyyyyyy?????? why anybody sef…

why didn’t you just sit your atole ass down in your lovely London apartment, being a good muslim boy, fantasizing about girls you couldn’t have.. why o why…. Did you have to bring shame to Naija.. as in..serious doti-ing of our already soiled name.

In the words of daddy showkey “somebody tun le se, somebody da le ru’…..

We here tryna change the world’s perception of Nigeria, but you’ve successfully undermined the rebranding challenge….you taken us back to where we were before…

infact u r mad!

I have been mincing words since but you are mad..u just have to be.wayray ni e sha… u still get mouth shey? … you bloody fool… ur eye go still open…


Ah I wish u can just spend one year out of your prison sentence in iddo prison for naija…. With four foot prisons filled with dirty yucky water… just one year…make all your leg peel first…. American still dey okay… na naija prison fit your kind..u bloody scallywag.

You are no Nigerian!

Do u know how hard getting a visa would be now..or what Nigerians will be subjected to at airports..do you?

Something like this? Or worse sef



They will have their hands so far down our asses…we wont know what hit us.. all because of YOU.

Pesin like me wey never take eye see obodoyinbo when I finally say make I go, e go come hard me…Wetin concern me, concern to go blow up plane.. I don chop belleful ni wey I go put bomb for my payint tlk sey I wan go blow up plane..blow up plane? Fun kini? 40 virgins in heaven..they can keep them!

wetin concern them Americans concern wether I put or not put explosives for payint? dem know me from adam.. na to subject me to the harrowing airport searches and scrutiny just because I am Nigerian!

Thunder fire you for there!

You’re a star u know, u have become very famous.. everybody knows u…not so lonely anymore right… wrong u fool.. u r known for all the wrong reasons. You are no Hero, your muslim counterparts have condemned your foolish acts, except the ones that are like you who would eventually meet the same fate as you.

Do you know what the new name for absolutely stupid spoilt idiot is…yes u got it right – Mutallab…


Mutallab can be used for anything that means
Stupid, spoilt, useless, dumb, suicide bomber, troublesome, someone who brings shame to others/his country ..name it..
No ones says ‘you are stupid anymore’ they just say ‘u be muttallab’
Why are u such a mutallabish child?
He pulled a mutallab!

You catch my drift? U bloody mutallab! no pun intended.

Of everything I feel for u I pity you the most.. I feel very sorry for you. Ur loneliness continues… too bad you had to mix with the wrong people, too bad you let them put radical ideas in ur head, too bad you decided to blow up a plane on xmas day, too bad the rest of the Nigerians have to suffer because of your stupid acts……its just too bad.smh

Oh yea about getting laid… am sure the kind folks in prison will be sure to sort u out.too bad!

40 comments:

David.фаворит Бога номер-один said...

LMAO!!!
you come again with your crase...lol!
*SIGH*
i don't have words for this anymore

shorty said...

LOL! You had me laughing all through this.I'm fed up with all this Mutallab tori.

Myne Whitman said...

This guy sef, you don vex well well but I was laughing through out. Whee did you get those pics?

NoLimit said...

This Ex-schoolnerd will not kill persin one day!lol
Tew mard...that dude should just be thrown in the middle of balogun market...he will be sorted for life! mschew!!!

Neo said...

exsn has killed person oh! maybe my flatmates have called scotland yard say the Nigerian girl in 6B jus dey laff, maybe na madness bomber.

seriously mutallab na serious MUMU, ahn ahn, maybe we shld wrap our passport with old newspaper now.

LMAO!

blackrubies said...

ha ha ha That was funny BUT u r so right!! The guy melsed up big time .
Oh well......

Chaguri said...

U be big "Muttallab"! nice note honey,dude is sicker than sick upstairs make him see hard life small as him say netter life no fit

GANNZTER said...

You dis blogger, you funny die. I like your classic Naija abuse reign on little Umar Farouk.

I'm a bit unhappy that you have dragged his family name into the drudge, the boys father is obviously a highly respectable person, just a shame he has such a crazy son.

It's obvious you have a crush on him and I worry maybe you are just angry with the boy because he wanted to destroy his sugar candy that so many want.

Ok that said, nice rant...

exschoolnerd said...

@gannzter sugar candy???

iphyigbogurl said...

lol....this babe u have issues!! looool
but there is something wrong with that bobo's head sha...
4 million dollar flat in london? wat the fuck do u wanna die for??????????????
he's not even smart... if u wanna blow up a plane.... na economy class weyy people full dey watch u.. u go dey fly? u for use first class as a big boy and die in style... anuofia!!!

Anonymous said...

Laide!! It eez only you that can think of sum'n like this... Well done..

leggy said...

lol..this is the best mutallab post ever.

Naughty Eyes said...

Totally hilarious in typical XsN style! But I feel the pain sha. This guy just messed us up BIG TIME... And me sef suppose enter obodo oyibo anytime soon oh. Mscheeew! Mutallab like him...

Anonymous said...

No mind the mutallab, na real HB (horny bastard) with all the money e no fit even arrange call girl abi ashewo so e go see edon, na edon wey e never see make am dey confuse. Even now sef as e don enter jail, na solitary confinement e go dey so make e just learn how to wank now that na if e still get penis because i hear say the bomb blow all those part, to release all those conji wey don dey hold am since e be 14. useless okrika bomber

Oge said...

It's nto really fair to turn "Mutallab"into an insult considering Mutallab is his father's name and his father is quite innocent. Farouk is the one that deserves the blame.

exschoolnerd said...

true...

BBB said...

Stupid boy that's all I have to say,
So right about d nigerian prison that's what he truly deserves
Mumu

BBB said...

Stupid boy that's all I have to say,
So right about d nigerian prison that's what he truly deserves
Mumu

olu said...

Vintage XSN! LMAO.

Azazel said...

Lol funny ish mehn

TaioFierce Ameen said...

LWKM..... ur blog always keeps me laffin...

REDRIBS said...

lol@underwear bomber

Griffin said...

lmao...rotflmao....ESN..LNGKM.....
Maybe they should sentence him to 10 years of ESN's rant. lol....
nice one.

The Girl with the Red Hair said...

Lmao@ underwear bomber!!! This is the best post on the dude ever. The guy just disgrace us no be small.

CaramelD said...

Very funny..........

Stupid misguided boy

Tears said...

lol! its shame i can't say all this to my friend who's cousins to him...she kinda took it very hard...some people think he was drugged...but STILL!!
even me self I wan travel Europe for three weeks...and now popcys like-lemme think about it- and my visa is already there o! like i would get Schegen but can't go no where,just watch it waste...hmmmm

CousCous...xoxo said...

hahaha i like your rant..na wa o, this mutallab boy has shamed us..i can see all my oyinbo friends deleting my number, for fear me too i be terrorist...

Larom said...

The boy just fall my hand. You had me laughing through out.

Larom said...

The boy just fall my hand. You had me laughing through out.

SOLOMONSYDELLE said...

tell 'em why you mad!

As time passes, I am beginning to find some compassion for Abdulmutallab, believe it or not. I keep thinking if only someone reasonable had stepped in when he clearly was expressing his loneliness. Anyway, that doesn't change the fact that i want to flog him mercilessly for the fallout he has called.

Anyway, Laide, happy new year!

Tay-mee said...

hahaha..you kill me I swear!

Couldn't have said it better myself!

ineffable said...

exschoolnerd, ..you have changed his surnname to an insult! bloody mutallab! lmao!!!!

Pink Satin said...

lol @ that last sentence, they will really sort him out

Miss Natural said...

lol...nice and very true rant. brainwashed silly boy

LusciousRon said...

LOOOOOOOOOOOOL! Dont mind the fool.

Tinu said...

hahahahhahahhaaahahha uve killed me cheeiiiii

phune said...

Lol....
You bring flavor to anything u handle! U r gud!

Nono said...

Hahahaha...LMFAO!!! Abeg where is the follow option on ur blog o. I need to follow asap(ly). They say I'm crazy but I think u just won th award. DAMN!!!

Nono said...

Hahahaha...LMFAO!!! Abeg where is the follow option on ur blog o. I need to follow asap(ly). They say I'm crazy but I think u just won th award. DAMN!!!

Sex Whisperer said...

Gad Damnit! this babe, what planet do u come to earth frm to write these things!