Thursday, 8 July 2010

letting it flow.....

First off can i just say a big fat ginormous thank you to yall for ur comments....i so so so appreciate them..and the nominations...Naija bloggers awards..lol...ose o! ose pupo thanks a whole lot people...love u guys...m honoured...vote for me oooh..shey i confuse u alot...sha vote o! click NBA banner below to vote!!!!!

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So um, its times like these i wish i was anonymous so i can just pour out my heart....but u know what i couldnt give a rats ass at this point... u know how i deal with stuff... i write.. i write about it until it hurts no more... and at the back of my head am thinking... if am talking about this issue ..they will know its 'paining' me... well it is 'paining' me..permit me to use that word abeg...its d only thing that comes to mind to help express how i am feeling right now.I know its not paining u..look how easy it was for u to let me go....but hey! shit happens...

You know how u feel when u realize that u dont mean as much as u should have to someone... like u feel like the times u were together it was just all lies... u feel like u wanna cry cause there's dis killing pain in ur throat...u feel like u just might never get it right..and u feel like just staying home all day and crying till u forget everything..and u feel like shit! and u feel like u never ever learn from past mistakes which is why u keep making the same ol' shitty ass decisions and mistakes...and u feel like all u might have been was a piece o ass...and u feel like u wanna turn back the hands of time and maybe ud have done things differently...and u feel like singing beyonce's 'why dont u love me' and u feel like crap...ugly ass crap..and u just feel bad about urself...and u just wanna cry!

Thats how i feel.

And i just wanted to let it all out....

i know am not crap, i know am not ugly ass crap sef... i know i deserve better.. deserve to be loved..but right now...i just feel bleeeeeeeeeeeeeh!!!!!

to know u can be let go of so easily..well it sucks ass i tell u....

they say big girls dont cry..we dont o! we wail like modafucker!

I have wailed in advance sha, which is why my cry fest isn't that crazy right now... getting my grown woman on now... its time to get my shit together...and i end with this quote


"I was never one to patiently pick up broken fragments and glue them together again and tell myself that the mended whole was as good as new. What is broken is broken -- and I'd rather remember it as it was at its best than mend it and see the broken places as long as I lived" - Margaret Mitchell

18 comments:

Sisi Yemmie ™ said...

lol...@big girls wail like a modafucker...but anyway you will get by, all these things happen...and congrats on ur nomination!

laide said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
exschoolnerd said...

thnks sweerie

Myne Whitman said...

Congrats on your nomination, I'm campaigning for you, lol

Sting said...

Congrats on ur nomination. Time heals all wounds. Grit ur teeth and bear it and in time u will be okay. Chin up!

BBB said...

time
time heals all hun

blogoratti said...

Hey...just keep your head up.You'll do just fine yea*

doll said...

this too shall pass!

leggy said...

i just have to say that i absolutely love that beyonce's song.
and yeah, just let go anf let yourself heal.

exschoolnerd said...

@myne u have???? awww!!! thanks dear!! i musto win oooooo!

@sting..thanks!!! yes dear..time does that!

@happyBBB thnks sweets!

@blogoratti: yup!!! i will

@doll... i love that line...and yea it will pass...

@leggy... i love d song too!!!! i knw hw many times i thought abt everything she sang...

Kenn-Knotty said...

There goes another broken heart. I think doctors should be getting rubber hearts for ladies...Playboys will always be on the prowl!

Femme Lounge said...

dt is a powerful quote by Margaret Mitchell! be strong dear and congrats on your nominations.

Miss Natural said...

I love the quote!! and the big girls cry statement! Its true though, it may hurt like heck now but you will get over it! big hug x

musco said...

when u re ready to stop wailing, u can come 4 a 'musco' hug.

pele, sho ti gbo?

mizchif said...

Love that quote at the end.

I know the exact feeling of which you speak. I guess it happens to most of us at some point, but of course you already know you will be fine eventually. That is all that matters really.

And yes, big girls DO cry.
Take care.

~Sirius~ said...

Lmao!!
I guess things like this happen to most girls.

We do silly things in the name "man"
And as for crying your heart out. It's alright.

You will be fine....

Ireti said...

My dear, good riddance to bad rubbish. He wasn't good enough for u anyway so cowered out.
Congrats babes there's a whole new world waiting for you to explore.

Nutty J. said...

You will be fine gal.... time wud heal that broken heart