Wednesday, 22 June 2011

The "blue balls" face

I have seen that ‘face’ a couple of times, I call it ‘the blue balls face’ …. Apparently ‘blue balls’ is this testicular pain that happens due to prolonged and unsatisfied sexual satisfaction.
I don’t quite know how to describe the face but I’ll try…. It’s the puppy dog face …that sad pity face….meets desperation meets frustration..its all of them all rolled into one and it’s a not so pleasant looking face. At that desperate moment he can sell his birth right just to satisfy his sexual urges.
Girl’s please avoid the ‘blue balls face’ by all means, don’t stare, if u stare too long…..u just might give in.
Then you start hearing all them silly attempts at getting you in the sack… “if u love me, u’ll do it” ….”I just want to lay on you, I am not doing anything” how exactly does that help ur cause? Or u hear “I just want to rub it around that area I am not doing anything, see now my ‘Trousis’ are still on” those trousers can be off faster than u can say ‘prakatatumba’... ” and the all so famous “the tip, just the tip….lemme just put the tip and I’ll leave you I am not gonna go in…I’ll just play outside” u go fear…na jangorova?…….all this while he is sweating and panting and giving u that ‘blue balls falls’ like his life depends on getting access to vjayjayville .
Maybe its cause I am not a possessor of this organ peculiar to the male folk…maybe that’s why I cant understand how ‘e dey shack their body like that’ …..how when they get so turned on…. They look like they are in pain and are gonna pass out ….how u have to give them several blows to the head sometimes after shouting NO for them to come to their senses…..why they have to, need to come up with hilarious fibs to get a piece of the action…….
I remember one time this one dude I was “talking to” I went over to see him…u know hang out and all…his family was home…. An hour of talking and this dude starts begging me to touch him in the groin area…. “please now, please!!! I am begging just touch it *insert blue balls face* please….just once….please *insert blue balls face* ”.. he grabs my hand and tries to place it there… I quickly free my hand from his grip…..and throw him the “abi e le ti ya werey stare”….but dude continues to beg and beg and I just get really irritated and decide to leave and that was the last time I saw him….
Maybe some girls like being begged but I can’t stand being begged for some nookie. If the feeling isn’t mutual, let it go.. begging sometimes comes off as sad…..
I know guys like to say “if u wake it then u must take it” ….well I agree…. Why turn him on ,on purpose just to fall his penis…I mean hand…. That’s not fresh….yanga dey sleep trouble go wake am and u don’t want to take it… o girl! U must take take take take it! Hahaha
But when u are jejely on ur own and not in the mood and he starts all the begging and pleading…not fresh dude….sometimes a girl is just not in the mood…. U can try putting her in the mood though…. U can talk dirty in her ear…but begging…. Its kinda like a NO NO.

I am curious… whats the craziest thing a guy has told u to get u in the sack with him? And guys help me understand why yall get so turned on to the point of begging and telling lil fibs…

37 comments:

Pelli said...

First, now to go read.

sheilaspeaks.com said...

lol...I've heard

'I thought you liked me'
'It has always been my fantasy to have you'
'I can't help it, I am so attracted to you'
'You look tense, let me help you relax'

Pelli said...

if u stare too long…..u just might give in......."trosis"......well na so God create and "wire" us is all I can say.
Nice.

shawlarchitunde said...

...only girls would enjoy commenting here.

Anon4now said...

Hahaha, toooo funny, unfortunately or will I say fortunately I haven't been put in this kind of situation.

DuDu said...

Lmaoo, blue balls , major myth, the mens way of gettied pitied into being shagged.
way back in Uni my friend had this jambite over in my room, and we were all watchin tv till late, i slept off on the floor but woke up around 1am. The light was out, but i heard murmurs on my bed, so i pretended to be asleep. My friend kept telling this jambito.."oya touch it, just massage it"...the naive babe kept sayin, "i am a child of God, besides my daddy will know"..my dear friend kept pressuring "come on dammy, he wont knw, just play with it, you can see its hard and painful"...then he proceeded to sayin "oya suck it"..and the girl said "god forbid"...but i couldnt help but laugh out which gave me away when my friend said "pls now dammy, its easy,shebi you sing in church, just imagine its a microphone"

Bibi said...

When i‎​ was younger, i‎​ "turned on" this guy but i‎​ ddn't want the sex, then he put on the blue balls face and said: he was going to fall sick and the drugs he'll have to take are very expensive.

Anonymous said...

@Dudu LMAO at imagine its a microphone.
I hate putting up that face but come to think of it,all the shagging I've done till date,I had to put up that face ,trust me I don't like it but the end justifies the means I guess

PreyingMantis said...

It's obvious you're struggling with a topic of discussion after a 46 day hiatus. I'll help you - this right here is bullshit. You want to know my opinion on blue balls, aren't you in your 30s & you still don't know? Stick to marketing dealdey

Anonymous said...

Ode ni e Laide......but u know Jude has to beg Efe regardless the situation (-_-)
@sheriphskills

Anonymous said...

Couldn't help laughing at the dammy story. Good one.

Intoxyka said...

i practically rushed to the office so that i can comment on this post so get ready for it..... *clears throat*..... Hahahaha.....i can relate on so many levels with this post considering the fact that when i dance with dudes, the only thing they can think of is the Vjayjay (u know what i mean) but the silliest offer i got was the promise of a car. this dude had been on my case for a while but i had pushed him to the brink.what did he not promise me.... i was lyucky i didnt get raped. Ha! this is classic!!! Big ups laide. I love love this post. Takes me backto my lag days. But chill laide, you must have some experience o. alot of parts in this post is very graphic... anything you want to share?

Anonymous said...

LMAO! I have heard

"please help me" *insert blue balls face* plus teary eyes, straining neck muscles and hands held out in despair...

I did help ;)with alternate methods to shagging.

ayanfalu said...

its not so much the physical pain as it is the 'heart break'!

Imagine going to Disney World but not getting on the rides.

Or going to the cinemas just to watch the previews!

*cringe*

Anonymous said...

...lmaooo.niicce..
ok i'm a dude n i got the blue balls treatment form my ex....lets just say she still wonders till this day why we broke up..

Anonymous said...

Don't kid yourself blue balls exists and its painful, anyone who has had blue balls knows that it hurts like a kick in d gonads. I'm serious and sometimes the babe may have left b4 it strikes. It ain't something to play with.

Kiky said...

LWKMD......OMG. this takes me way back to my uniport dayz.
the most annoying and irritating one is the, "just the tip one"
Guys dont seem to realize how pathetic they look when they beg for a shag, breathing and panting like they just did a 100 meters sprint, and thats even the more reason why i wont give up the cherry.

Anonymous said...

Its clear you have no idea what blue balls really are. Real blue balls; the guy is in so much pain sex would end up being the last thing on his mind and your example was too watery please pick a more concrete one next time. I know you might end up calling me a hater but I don't give a fuck cause IT IS MY OPINION hehehhe. All the best with your future articles though ;)

ibetapassmynebo said...

Buahahahahahaha......I kno ds face..buahahahahahaha.....OMG!

Anonymous said...

Dudu slayed me with his comment tho, shebi you're in the choir? Hahah, but yea tho, its just mean really, someone said its like going to Disney & not getting on a ride. Spot on comparison. Guys have to revert to drastic means now ir "The Tip" , this shit is classic tho, works almost everytime.. Awon oloshi babes. At this stage in life tho when a babe tells you "No' you'd just suck it up & carry on. When its not like Jergens has finished in the country. Begging for sex is really sad & should not be done mehn.

*Drops Mic*

But then again, which one of you is a chorister :)

Amya said...

so true!

Anonymous said...

LMAO! Blue Balls is real though and its really painful! I know this cos I don't give the "blue balls face" so as to be granted entry into the "Va-Okocha" (no b only Jay Jay). I jus turn around n sleep.

@Kunta_LP_Kinte

Ginger said...

OMG! I have just forwarded this mail to my friend. I can soo relate! I hate the begging. it just makes you lose all respect for the guy. hilarious!!

HOMEMADE ENTERTAINMENT said...

lwkmd laide,you took it out right of me...lwkm @dudu

Blaise Aphascea said...

Well most writers pen their imaginations while some pen reality...but there are those who do both....ur pik...
"due to prolonged unsatisfied sexual satisfaction" dear nerd, smfin is nt ryt bout dat,
Though I kinda understand what ur doin here but dis write seemed to have been posted in a hurry as dia r lots of typos...here & there...although it myt be due to d pidgin u added here n there also....
Bak 2d 1st lyn...well..u'v met dudes whu are conji crazed and can't control demselves...I praaaaaaayyyy u meet dudes wen no send ur cat even if it was an "O'malley or O'grady", dudes hu will tell u to "eat ur cat & have it".....dudes on d level..
But then..tis dis syd of picture u'v seen, & so explains dis post, d oda side u havnt seen,
But then, the things you don't see, you don't know, the things you don't know you don't understand, and the things you don't understand successfully eludes you. -Blaise Aphascea

Ms.Understood said...

chei, see as genuine "heart-tickle" cause kasala for here oh, lmao ~ haters always goinna hate

niceone Laide...

bizkit said...

Blaise boi easy nau.
It's genuineli on some heart tickle momentum, as in I'v neva cin any1 spell "Jejely" b4 #leggoo
Big ups 2 u Laide, hope u taking it all constructiveli & all sha.
& am totalli secondin' d anonymous Dude & axin which one of you is a chorister :):P:D:P

Anonymous said...

Apparently all the babes here escaped the "just the tip", so called..."blue balls face"...

I'm sure! y'all know you fall for it all the time. who're u kidding?

and the choir master coulda had his lead singer if that guy didn't "cock block".

girls stop lying pls!

Kaydee said...

LWTMB! I haff Die! Who is this Dudu too?

Ms_sweetns said...

Lmao! Okk I have heard "let me just touch the hair there" really?of what benefit is that?

Anonymous said...

Ha ha ha ha this is effing hilarious I must confess loads of blue balls face statement like.....pls just help me please I beg u.... "I won't put it inside just around it" (d thing no get shoulder o) or "pleeeease goshN damn (n all d swear words u can think of) my stomach will pain me today "please just help me out.....ℓoℓ it goes on n on

Toinlicious said...

OMG! im rotflmao right now & its not helping dat im reading dis @work.
@Dudu...u just killed me lmao

@Ms_sweetns, i wonder o.

Leme just play around d "gate" i promise not to enter..mshew

Sir Fariku said...

As a guy, all I can say is that guys like to kpansh, whether its straight up segsy time, a quickie, bj or just a hand job. its hardwired into our primal instincts. However I dont know about begging sha, I would ask maybe once or twice and then give it up in favor of self pleasure.

miss 123 said...

This PreyingMantis dude is an idiot sha. Nyways I haff fallen for d *blue ball face* yh dats ryt! I admit
Mine went like dis...pls na, lemme just rub it btw ur thighs, hold em 2geda for me & whoosh... It landed in my vjayjay.
I deserve a honesty award here. Lol

exschoolnerd said...

@miss123 lol yeah u sure do... i might have fallen for it too once or twice...

dsicube said...

ewww

@adebsrk said...

This isn't about Blue Balls...this is about guys becoming aroused and wanting sexual gratification. There is no such thing as "blue balls face". Fact is when a guy is experiencing blue balls he doesn't even think of sex...just to get rid of the pain.
Read about blue balls from a guy's perspective...
introducingade.blogspot.com/2010/12/cock-teasers-blue-balls-prequel-to.html?m=0