Saturday, 16 July 2011

And twitter was gone......




It was a day like any other,never did I imagine the turn events that would eventually take place. The soothing sound of Craig David’s ‘booty man’ played endlessly and blended into my dream till I remembered..my fucking alarm!!! I whisper a ‘Thank you Jesus prayer’ and rush outta bed to boil some hot water and arrange my clothes for work. While the water boiled I reach for my blackberry, you know to erm check what’s happening on twitter, I am not addicted really, I just need to check what’s going on you know… all of a sudden I start panicking, I cant find ubersocial on my phone, twitter for blackberry is gone too. They were both on my phone before I slept, could I have mistakenly deleted them? Impossible.



What to do? What to do? I enter www.twitter.com in my browser and I get a reply ‘this website doesn’t exist’ my knees go weak, I try it several times till I finally give up. What the fuck is happening? I google twitter and I get ‘do u mean ‘twister’ whaaaaaaat!!! Ok don’t panic laide, maybe they r just down, maybe the site is experiencing some issues they’ll probably be up and running in a couple of hours… I have my bath hurriedly get ready for work and make my way to the BRT. I check again and still got the same results, I hola at a couple of friends on bbm to find out if they were having the same problem as I was, they all said the same thing, twitter was gone. Gone! How could it be gone! Did it die? It will resurrect… i was losing my mind on the BRT, kept fidgeting like a crack head who was eager for her next fix and knew it wasnt coming anytime soon. No this is bad, who will listen to all the trivial details of my big fat boring life? Where do I go for some comic relief to take my mind off reality, how do I amuse myself daily with the antics of so many downright insane people who basically live on twitter, no more sharing of downloads and links, no more facebook imports embarrassing themselves on my timeline, no more advertising!!!!! Nooooooooo!!!


I search for twitter again, still the same result….. bbm was going crazy, folks started using their status updates as an alternative for twitter, people where re-activating their facebook accounts, some couldn’t remember their passwords so they went back to hi-5, some nairaland, the really desperate ones naijapals…people were sending text messages and calling like crazy,everybody had something to say and they needed an outlet. Facebook was on overload, every 5 seconds a new status update, people couldn’t keep up.

The residents of facebookville were angry that we twitterville people had come to turn everything upside down, they wanted us to leave…after all we deserted facebook. They were angry and sending messages to MARK everyday…’twitter refugees’ must go, they rioted, they promised to stay off facebook for 2years if MARK didn’t de-activate our accounts….we were all forced to move to Google +, google+ became our haven, our new home…. MARK made a big mistake, because Google+ became the next big social networking site. Twitter people re-united with their long lost tweeps on Google + it wasn’t home, but it would do for the time being. It would do for now. We all miss tweetville and wonder what happened.

There have been rumours, some say a certain tweep’s questions might have caused it, others says too much advertising using hootsuite by a certain tweep, others say it happened just immediately a certain chic uploaded her breastvatar, some say people were neglecting important things in their life because of twitter and the twitter gods decided to end it all, or it could be that a certain tweep finally posted her naked pic, I also heard it was when eunde tdnut tweeted the link for his 3rd single….. heard it was a gbagaun by a certain tweep, twitter couldn’t withstand the effect…lotsa theories. Folks say it was too many konjified dm’s trying to set p…twitter became the next Sodom and gommorah so the twitter Gods decided to end it.Facebook and Hi-5 owners used jazz.People were getting mean and evil to eachother.

Other say the thirst level had risen so much and practically drowned twitter. We will never know the real reason why our beloved twitter disappeared but one thing’s for sure we will always miss it and the crazy people we met there. Can I get a GBAM?

32 comments:

Sha-Sha said...

Hahahahahahaha. This girl u won't keel somborri o.

pyiz said...

Gbam!!!

pyiz said...

Gbam!!!

krimmedic said...

Nice,easy read. Had fun figuring the subs out...:D. Can't imagine the horror of it tho..And yea,GBAMest!!

Aquaman said...

Twitter won't die. It'll simply fade away...

Anonymous said...

bwahahahah,,,,,tunde ednut single...

Fragilelooks said...

lolllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll. GBAM

Myne Whitman said...

Laide, you're on one long thing like that o..,lol...

Laurenta said...

GBAM!!!
hahah the truth is that i can actually imagine how frantic id be if twitter disappears LMAO
i am an unrepentant addict

shynepo said...

@hifeoluwa said...

#gbam gbam.....nice blog

bekezed said...

Twitter junkie! I remember when my bbm icon disappeared. I couldn't function @ the office. I swore @ ppl that called when I was trying to download it and cursed my bb(maybe its the reason the keypad sometimes goes haywire)
GBAM!!!!!!!!

Temitope said...

Gbam!
Nice read, you hit the nail by ascertaining that social network has become such a huge part of our lives.
I like that you identify G+ as the next big thing, but I still think Facebook rather than twitter would feel the brunt of Google+ success.
Lovely sunday to u.

kemmiiii said...

GBAM!!!!!
Lmfao @Someone's questions and eunde tdnut's 3rd single!!

Anonymous said...

Gbam toh bad

Etoile Oye said...

Gbam! nicely done :)

Eknoreda said...

Laide is a fantastic writer!!!

@MrJenuwa said...

Lmao! Nice write-up enjoyed it from the beginning down to the End.......big ups!!! So Ednut gbagauned???? Lmaooooo!!! I must find dat tweet o!

Kaydee said...

Shit is crazy!U just think some bugged out shit when You're by yourself and pen it in a very Hilarius style.I don't tweet much but i can't imagine tweeter's disappearance.

Toinlicious said...

Gbam! Gbam!! Gbam!!! Girl, ur killing me lwkm.

Aseni said...

gbam!

What wld we do without twitter????

CrazyToyBoy said...

Oh my! The subs! Classic!

ineffable said...

*now Gbamming*...

Ogechi Ebere said...

Laide! hahahaahaha! This piece was just mind blowing!!! Luvd d part abt d really desperate migrating τǿ naijapals! U̶̲̥̅̊ rock!!! GBAM!!! GBAM!!! GBAM!!! Please tell мε U̶̲̥̅̊ woke up and †ђξ twitterpocalypse was all a̶̲̥̅̊ dream!!!

Take kia babe!
@Ichego_FX

aeedeeaee said...

Laide, very SUBstantial post here.. the SUBject? Intriguing and yeah babay, you get a gbaamss!

lmao!

ivri.o said...

in fact not only #gbam but #confirm its really tight

duhitsnifemi said...

#GBAM LMAOOO! YUR JOKES

@ThisBoyPerforms said...

I was really expecting you to wake up and be like *In Wizkid's voice* "That WAS DREAM" -- that would have been epic

Had fun figuring out the SUBS, and the Eunde Tdnut part was just hilarious. . .

This really got me thinking. . . What would happen if Twitter really does die?? Nairaland?? Perfspot?? Hi 5?? Dayum!

Anonymous said...

You stole this write up

kitkat said...

lmaooo! wish it really happened!

skyWalker said...

#GBAM.......

Tha Brainchild said...

Men, this post had SUBstance!!! The paragraph with the SUBs made a whole lotta sense... BigUps!!! made a whole lotta sense... BigUps!!!