Wednesday, 19 October 2011
My life or something like it
When did life become so boring? Or maybe the question should be when did i become so boring? Or when did my life become so boring? My life feels like a re-run of a badly written series...feels like i am trapped in some this boring warped universe and my life revolves around "work,making money,more work,being stressed,not enough laughs,more bb contacts than i care for,lots of annoying small talk i can do without" Back then there was always something happening, something to blog about, something interesting going on... whether its the way some guy in the danfo bus was staring at you like he was thinking 'ahhhhhh eran re, baba will be happy' or the crazy conversations between the conductor and the passengers....or how your bus broke down somewhere and you were scared shitless. It was always something, and if it wasn't that it was school, oh yeah school you remember that place....that dreaded place we all had to go to just so we don't end up as miscreants, or running on third mainland bridge selling 'walking stick'.... Side bar: but err of all the things to sell in hold-up na walking stick pesin see carry....but who am i to judge another man's hustle though... Oh yeah that place where we have to wake up early for 8am lectures, rush to school and the bloody lecturer doesn't even show up,doesn't care if you entered 6 buses from Festac, got thrown into the gutter by an okada just to reach his class, he just doesnt show up and doesn't offer any apology. Yeah that place. School! at least in school there was always something to blog about, maybe one ova sabi in class who just reminded the lecturer of a test he forgot to give or some other ova sabi who is constantly asking the lecturer questions when the class ended an hour ago. The endless butt crack sighting, toasting gone wrong escapades with apparitions following you around school professing their undying love for you,never the ones you want though. Tales from the hostel about how this girl borrowed this other girl's jeans for a party without her permission and the showdown that happened in class the next day where plenty plenty secrets were told. As much as i hated school.... yes i hated school with every fibre of my being but that is another blog for another day. As much as i hated it, a little part of me misses the drama that came with it. The lining up for cabs, the rushing for bus(of course i didnt err rush with them), classmates from hell, lecturers from a place worse than hell, all the friendships and pretend friendships. The stealing of assignments, word for word dubbing, the endless photocopying....the mad rush for attendance. I kind of miss that a little. After school is effing boring! I mean i wake up, what? 5:30am if my boss is reading this...6am for the rest of you suckers *tongue out* .....i mean 6 bloody am..yes i know u wake up 4 bloody am go and collect award now....So i have my bath, get dressed and make my way to the BRT bustop and wait for like 45 more mins for those blasted buses. Like really those things defeat the whole purpose of waking up early sef. The BRT buses in the morning are usually bleh,most times everybody is groggy and probably thinking 'damn it! not another day of going to work to see that oga that's my first born's mate, why don't i have a rich, extremely old relative who'd die and just leave everything to me' okay that last bit is me..hehehe.... the only compensation is that i work with some really exciting people. I'd love to list all of em here and tell you why each of them are so not right in the head, but i'll pass.... i work in an office with eight men, yup just me and eight men..get ur mind out of the gutter. So yeah its laughs, and crass jokes and taking shots at each other every chance we get...its fun its kind of like the series 'THE OFFICE' only we are not as mentally deranged aas those loons....our crase is still on the minimal. So as the only girl i have the hold my own o! T works in my office and we are everly taking shots at each other...everly....everyone is probably tired of us in the office. The BRT ride home is a little more interesting, i have more time to analyze and scrutinize all my fellow BRT occupants. I amuse myself by guessing what random people are probably thinking. Like maybe the woman at the front is probably thinking "dont they know that if i shave my bear bear it'll grow back 3 times longer" and the guy beside her is probably thinking "shey this woman no get mirror, i just want to reach out and pull the hair on her chin" ....the lacasera boy outside is looking in and pushing his wares closer to the fatties...."buy now!!! u must buy u r fat, u must want lacasera...buy! buy! buy fattie buy!" .....u throw him the evil eye and he moves to another fattie. Meanwhile the dude selling gala is patiently waiting to make his move....as soon as u succumb to the evil lacasera seller's antics he zeroes in on you..so he rushes to the window "buy fattie buy! buy! buy! " No matter how early i leave work, i always meet hold-up somewhere.... that's something i just havent gotten used to yet...some people sitting through hold-up is like their talent because they've been through it so many times for me it is really excruciating... really but thank God for music and twitter to help me pass the time in a less annoying way. Never mind the fact that my heart is always dancing akpako as we cross third mainland bridge, i can never understand my phobia for that bridge.....i would sleep in the BRT, but then i wouldn't want to snore....nah not a good look... Two hours later i am home, tired, hungry and i gotta cook....like come on! come the eff on!....like we women we try sha.... like cant i just come home and not have to worry about cooking again. Sometimes i think i need a wife sef, yeah you read that right...i need someone to cook breakfast for me and have a nice meal for me when i get back from work....like i am not superwoman and i am not vying for the role,they can keep it.... i am not even married sef....they already want to wear me out for my future husband..... so i cook, sleep and do the same thing all over again.....and like from the pinky and brain series i ask myself everynight, no wait y imaginary friend does ...."Laide what are u doing tomorrow" ....and i answer The same thing i do everyday "Try to survive this big fat boring life one day at a time" .....*sigh* if only Drake would come and pay bride price already... "i'm ready to go right now"