Thursday, 22 December 2011

Meet the personalities.....

Laide= Quiet,reserved, a lil sarcastic, thinks the world about everybody & very nice
Exschoolnerd = Funny, crazy, opinionated,smart, antosocial(dominant personality)
Amaka= slutty, wild

Laide: So it’s the end of the year already

Exschoolnerd: tell us something we don’t know
Amaka: hehe

Laide: Y do u always have to be a smart ass…anyways it’s the end of the year and what a year it has been.

Exschoolnerd: You can say that again… loads happened this year, I mean the death of Osama and Ghadaffi,Kim Kardashians ‘How to lose a husband in 72 days episode,the royal wedding, beyonce pregnant,Amy winehouse,heavy D and Natedogg dying…I can go on and on

Amaka: We’d prefer it if you didn’t ESN how was this year for you? You know being the dominant personality and all

Exschoolnerd: Erm well …I don’t know really… a lot of great things happened though, got a new job, finally did away with some major drama in my life… I still haven’t met the elusive ‘one’ though… yeah wasn’t lucky with love this year. I guess the only good thing about those relationships was the great ass sex.

Laide : Ass sex? Okokobioko! *whispers* Anal?

Exschoolnerd: nooooo!! You know what I mean na

Amaka: hehehe…ESN had Anal

Exschoolnerd : the both of you are mad… great ass means awesome….like why in the world would I try Anal

Amaka: I would!
Laide &Exschoolnerd: What!!!

Laide: That’s it Amaka cannot be the main personality for more than an hour in a day…

Amaka: What!!! Why? I was only kiddin

Exschoolnerd: You better be…..

Laide: you know, I think the reason y u haven’t found ‘the one’ is cause ur standards are too high, I mean the one could be a security guard with a good heart for all you know

Amaka: *spits out drink*
Exschoolnerd: your one will be a security guard

Laide: erm we share the same body remember

Exschoolnerd : the both of you have gone mad, I can’t trust yall with this body, if i leave yall in charge for two days I will come back and find out I’ve been having anal sex with a security guard.

Laide: why must ur ‘one’ be rich and funny and smart

Exschoolnerd: because I don’t have two heads , I mean are you for real…u really wish a security guard for us
Laide: but he’s a human being na

Amaka: this girl has to leave this body! What rubbish are you yarning…security guard? Are u mad

Laide: Chase me away na! so we should leave this body for you so you’ll have us booty popping and windecking in the club struggling with agile and flexible 18year olds…when we are well over 30? God forbid

Exschoolnerd: See ehn can we put this matter to rest? The one will come when the one will come

Amaka: He will come and meet you in your parlour ehn? Infact Laide is right… na maiguard you go still marry

Exschoolnerd: Waka! If we didn’t share the same body I’ll ask God to punish you….

Amaka: I am saying the truth, do you go anywhere? No! clubbing? No! Wedding? No! Get together? No! Church? Once in a lilac moon….. so na from where man go fly enter? From heaven

Laide: Please sharrap!!! So she should act like a desperado and be going for every event because of husband shey?

Exschoolnerd: Are you minding the ignoramus….see ehn lets leave this matter….sensible man will come when sensible man comes

Amaka: or gateman

Laide: Abi!

Exschoolnerd: I have no words for the two of you

Amaka & Laide: (burst out laughing)

Amaka: This great sex you have been having sha, I no feel am for my side oooo
Laide: haha
Amaka: Abi laide you feel am?
Laide: My sister I feel am small
Amaka: y e no con reach me
Exschoolnerd: u dey ask me?
Amaka: Am i not part of this body…why am i never the main personality when great sex is going down
Laide: Question

Exschoolnerd; On to more important matters

Amaka: Yes like what happened to the great sex n why did it stop

Exschoolnerd: the supplier was sacked
Laide: *chuckles*

Amaka: una sack am before e reach my turn shey…. Wetin e do wey una sack am… im dey supply someone else

Laide: I no know oooo..ask ESN
Exschoolnerd: He was wasting our time

Laide: e no waste my own ooo
Amaka: u for sha retain am na… make e dey help for those cold nights

Exschoolnerd: It’s not that serious my dear

Amaka: How will it be serious? After e don knack ur akpako finish

Exschoolnerd: Can we change the topic?

Laide: So what plans do you have to secure a man for this body in 2012
Amaka: shuooo na interview?
Exschoolnerd: Why are u asking me?

Amaka: No be you dey sack all of them
Exschoolnerd: so if they are misbehaving I should just accept it.
Amaka: No but don’t take hasty decisions without asking us
Laide: when did this one start speaking English
Amaka: Are u referring to me?
Laide: I call your name, I no like trouble oooo..please free me

Exschoolnerd: I will secure when I secure.
Amaka: What year please lemme know if I’ll hibernate till that time
Exschoolnerd: how will I know when? Abeg free me jare…

Laide: the year she develops bumbum
Amaka: hahahahahaha

Exschoolnerd: shey u sha know that u guys are laughing at urselves sha

Laide: e pain am

Amaka: Here’s what I propose… go out more!!!! And when you are out…make sure our best features are on display

Laide: In other words she should dress like a whore

Amaka: If that would get her a man why not

Laide: see ehn, all I’ll say is just be more open minded you know….

Exschoolnerd: If u say gateman ehn

Laide: No! haba! I was only joking na…. but really just don’t overlook cause they don’t totally fit into your idea of what you want…

Amaka: so she should now accept any imbe because he has a good heart? A good heart with a one bedroom apartment?
Laide: Gosh! You are so fickle

Exschoolnerd: Have the both of you finished?

Laide: and smile more, u know how u look when u don’t smile…d only man that won’t be scared to approach u is probably chuck Norris
Amaka: (laughs)

Exschoolnerd: You r sha insulting yourself, I have heard the both of you and I take everything u said with all the seriousness it deserves…which is no seriousness whatsoever….

Amaka: when I take over sha, I’ll make things happen

Exschoolnerd: I better not change and find myself wearing a half-top and leggings

Amaka: half-top ke? Do u have the belle for it

Exschoolnerd: I don’t! that’s the point…..nothing crazy please u too Laide, if u give any gardener or plumber my number ehn
Laide: I said I was joking na!
Amaka: she wasn’t joking ooo, better put her on a leash before its too late
Laide: look who is talking about a leash


Anonymous said...

lol!!!! awesome stuff.... thoroughly enjoyed reading this.

Anonymous said...

lmao. this babe u wont kill me

Azuka said...

Hilarious as usual.

Acceber said...

Smiles.... ur a silly chick u know dat right?

Etoile Oye said...

Haha. Good read. I like your head.

Anonymous said...

Lol..... Nice one....

Myne Whitman said...

Very funny.

Compliments of the season.

crazylifemeetsdee said...

lol!!! love love love...btw you have good multiple personalities,u r lucky u dnt have one that wants to kill definitely following you now

Ms. Catwalq said...

Men, I don miss you far?

missanonyme said...

lol! this is hilarious, was having a nt so cool day, this has made it all beta...

Anonymous said...

BUHAHAHAHA! Amazing read. Iv fallen in ♡ wd u&all ur othr personalities. Lol.

Peter Orlando said...

Lol! you are one eccentric person...nice job....

Anonymous said...

You are so funny! I always love stopping by xx

Livinus said...

You've done it again!!!. another beautiful one. At times,i wonder wat goes through ur head. U'r d best!!!.

da_sweetthin said...

Oh Lord! Laide u r amazing!
Loved it. Lol

Anonymous said...

Very funny! L0l...cnt stop laughing...

I luv all ur write-ups!:D

Anonymous said...

How do u keep Amaka under leash.