Sunday, 22 February 2015
MEETING THE ONE
They say when you meet THE ONE, you'll know it. Maybe I've watched too many Ally McBeal
episodes but i sometimes imagine i am walking down a busy road, a car stops and out comes this
dashing young man ... YES i just used the word 'dashing' i shall now proceed to kill
So yeah this young man who's 6'1, no 6'4 ... jumps out of the car and suddenly breaks into
dance *cue background music* 'Walking on Sunshine Starts plays' ... the butterflies in my
tummy start doing synchronized steps to the beat of the music... two okada men, one conductor
and a lastma official join him in his dance routine like it's oh so normal.
It's all so indian-movie-esque and then he says 'Oh Laide where have you been, i've been
searching for you all my life' then i faint spanish soap opera style, hand on forehead and he
rushes to catch me before i fall into the gutter.
I'd wake up in his lavish pent house, okay house in Ogudu... and i'd be all scared and shit
till i see his face and then i remember - The ONE.... awww!! 'Cue Music - Cheesy Nigerian music
about love plays'
It'd feel so perfect and ordained by God..its exactly the way those drake picture quotes
said it'd be...we'd have identical awww inducing names 'lamide' and 'laide'... the perfect
wedding hashtag #lala2016 ..these things are important when choosing a partner you know...
nobody will hashtag ur wedding if his name is Arochukwu .. aint nobody gat time for that.. back
to THE ONE.
I wouldn't need convincing, we'd skip courtship ..oh wow! 'Courtship' i'm really showing my age.
we'd skip the getting to know each other serenre.. feels like we've known each other for years,
all our lives have been preparing us for that one moment when we met in Balogun and he jumped
out of his car to rescue me from falling into the gutter. 'Cue Music - We found Love in a
hopeless place plays'
We'd wear matching Aso-ebi's to weddings and hold hands as we walk out of Sunday service. Oh
praise be to the Lord! Our instagram pictures would never get less than 300 likes with comments
like ' I go love oh' #Goals, Relationship Goals, Relationship on fleek!!!'
All those i cant wash a woman's underwear days are left behind... that's all he thinks about at
work...the only thing that keeps him happy while he drives home in third mainland traffic..the
fact that hes coming home to wash the underwear of his queen. What an honour!
So this is real love i'd find myself thinking, all the while i've been wasting my time with
satan's helpers thinking i was in love not knowing that THE ONE was out there. Gone are the
days when breakfast in bed was thrown across the room to you.. in form of agege bread
with two measly akara's in it swiftly followed by the loud thud of the pure water.
No more excuses of I've been busy that's why i couldn't call every hour to check up on you.
Its strange cause almost every time i think about him he calls, every single time..its almost
like our minds are connected..its like i'm Jean Grey and he's Professor Xavier... see he just
called now ...wow! this is amazing.
We'd have really intellectually stimulating conversations and matching wit. ...and even though we might not have alot of money... we have love.
That how it is right? Right? Somebody answer me!!!!